#doctordeity

(dawk-ter-de-ity / dawk-de-ity)

a gender connected to doctors and deities, a deity associated with doctors or a deity of doctors.

coined by us, requested by anon.

"🦄 - how do you perceive yourself?"

"Hmmm... I think the aspect of myself that's on my mind the most frequently is that I've changed a lot over the years. Anyone would, in such circumstances. I used to live in terrifyingly constant certainty. Changing the world used to be the perfect dream to strive for, but internal change, on a personal level, was always somewhat frightening. Small changes occur very rapidly. My moods fluctuate, and with them my outlook on many matters. But some things... Some changes in my life left me in such uncertainty and switched my perspective so thoroughly, tearing down the seemingly incontrovertible pillars of my reality, I couldn't help but wonder if every day I left behind a dead consciousness and awakened to a new one, a constant metamorphosis. What one believes and perceives and remembers is what makes up one's personhood, but that evolves every split second. The lack of continuity... I feel like I've left behind a whole inexplicable forest of my own past selves. Whether I shed them every second, or every year, or every time the balance of my life shifted completely, I can't say... But I wish I could speak to some of them.

Oh... Sorry for rambling! I guess that also answers the question - at times I'm painfully aware of how much I talk! It seems like I oscillate between not enough and way too much...

So, there's that, and... Ah. Like I said, many things keep changing. My self-image is definitely one of them. Sometimes, I see myself as someone truly worthwhile, special even - I'm happy with who I am and unhappy with how my life has been treating me thus far. And sometimes... Hm. Sometimes the inadequacies are just too unbearable and I wonder if even the worst I've experienced was too kind for someone like me.

...Ah, sorry! That might have been upsetting to hear. I'm alright at the moment! So I'm not thinking about myself that way right now."

“I like to wear loose, warm, comfortable things. The texture of the fabric is important to me… I like it when it’s thick and soft. I like to feel a barrier between myself and the world, if that makes sense. It wasn’t always so, but I just feel safer this way, and it makes it easier for me to focus and regulate my moods.