#dockside crew

Co-written by @27dragons

A/N: This fic takes place in the Nights inSandbridge AU, a modern-day, nopowered setting where Bucky owns a beach diner in Virginia. This story takesplace about 2 months after Tony and Bucky get married, their second Christmastogether, about two weeks before they visit Atlanta for the first time.

Owning a restaurant came with a certain amount of situationalawareness; Bucky had learned over the years how to identify an emergency on thefloor from something mundane, like Clint breaking a bucket full of plates.

He wasn’t really paying attention – something had smashed, andWanda had cussed for a bit, but she’d been setting up an elaborate Christmasdisplay – and then someone was screaming, and that was a voice he didn’t recognize.Which meant it was a customer.

Bucky pushed back from his desk, ran his fingers through his hairto present his best I am in Charge Here look, and headed out to thefloor to see what the fuss was.

“Someone call 9-11!”

Christ. Bucky moved faster.

Wanda’s display was mostly intact; she and Tony had been buildingan elaborate Christmas tree shape using pots of varied colored poinsettias. Onepot had been tipped over, mulch and plant scattered on the floor and several ofthe leaves and flowers had been torn off and were scattered around the display.

“You don’t need to call an ambulance,” Wanda declared, her handson her hips.

The customer, who was squatted down, holding a child of preschoolage and indeterminate gender, squashed against her shoulder, glared. “Thoseflowers are deadly poisonous! You get me an ambulance right now!”

“I can call Poison control,” Bucky offered, taking the scene in. Tony,coming out of the back hall with a broom and bin, the customer hysterical,Wanda furious and defiant. Poison Control was one of the numbers programmedinto Dockside’s landline phone.

“I don’t need poison control! I need to get Abby to a hospital! She’sgoing to die, hundreds of kids die every year from eating poinsettialeaves! Why do you even have them in your diner? That’s just irresponsible,I am going to sue you back into the stone age!”

Bucky reached for the phone and punched in the emergency number.

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”

“Hey, this is James Barnes, at Dockside, Sandpiper Road,” Buckysaid. “I have a customer here with a potentially ill child.”

Tony was on his phone, too, poking at the screen. He held it outto show the woman. “Really, look. WebMD says they’re not poisonous.”

The woman made a scoffing sound. “You expect me to trust the Internet?”She said it with that tone that told Bucky she’d already made up her mind andthat nothing was going to convince her. He rather suspected even a doctorwasn’t going to ease her panic; but at least the doctor wasn’t Bucky’sproblem.

“The kid didn’t even eat the flower,” Wanda said, pulling theleaves in a pile. “She just yanked it off the table. My god, relax!”

Bucky winced. That… yeah, there went the mom, voice spiralinghigher in rage and frustration. The kid had squirmed free and was staring ather parent like it was the best movie ever, thumb firmly in her mouth.

“Customer’s child may or may not have eaten poinsettia plantmaterial,” Bucky reported to the emergency dispatcher.

“We get this sort of call a lot, sir,” the emergency dispatchertold him, “the plant’s not poisonous. They need to eat like five or six wholeleaves to even get an upset stomach.”

“Believe me, I know,” Bucky said, sighing. “Ma’am–” He tried toget the customer’s attention, but she was busy yelling at Wanda. “Ma’am, couldyou please speak to emergency services to give them your information? Ma’am–”

Tony physically pushed between the customer and Wanda. “Stopyelling at our staff,” he snapped. “They’re not. Poisonous. Look!” He snatchedup a handful of the leaves and shoved them into his own mouth, chewingfuriously. “Fweee?”

“Oh, my god,” Bucky said, faintly, staring at his husband. “Areyou even for real?”

“Sir?” The emergency dispatcher squawked.

“Just send the ambulance?” Bucky suggested. “I think the mom willfeel better.”

The dispatcher sighed. “You know there’s a fine for usingemergency services for non-emergencies. I can’t send an ambulance for anon-poisoning.”

Tony made a horrific face and bolted for a trashcan, spittinghalf-chewed leaves into it. “Oh my god that’s vile,” he complained.“It’s worse than arugula. Worse than kale. No way would any kidwillingly eat enough of it to get sick.”

“Yeah, okay, thanks,” Bucky said to the dispatcher, on automatic.“Wow, Tony, really?”

The customer was sobbing, her face red with frustration, andWanda, who had her fists balled up at her sides, looked like she was an inchfrom bursting into tears herself, looked up at Bucky. Do something, herface told him.

“Ma’am,” Bucky tried again. “Ma’am. Emergency services says thatthe plant’s not going to hurt your child, but if it makes you feel better tohave a doctor confirm, there’s an Urgent Care facility up in Oceana. You can’tmiss it, just go straight up th’ main road, and it’s on the left after you passinto town. Don’t worry about your meal, I’ll take care of it.”

The customer scooped up her child, who still looked vastly amusedfor a three- or four-year-old. She sniffed, didn’t bother to say thank you, andstormed out of the restaurant. There was a long, pregnant pause, before therest of the customers went back to their meals.

“Tony, you okay?” So, he knew that the plant wasn’t poisonous, butat the same time, Bucky had heard all those warnings, too. The persistence ofthe urban legend, he guessed.

Tony was still spitting into the trashcan, alternating with gulpsof water. “That was the nastiest thing I’ve ever tasted,” he complained.“Remind me not to do that again.”

“Don’t do that again,” Bucky said, earnestly, pulling his husbandin for a quick hug. He didn’t dare do more, with the floor still half occupied,but– “Jesus, you are too much… you might not be poisoned, but my heart almoststopped, you lunatic.” He turned to Wanda. “Are you okay? You need a break, fora bit?” Wanda was not good about being yelled at; she took it personally.

“She’s going to take her poor kid to the hospital for nothing,”Wanda said, staring at the door. “I don’t… it’s not poisonous. Poison Controlissues a statement about it every year. I’m… I’m a master gardener! Iknow what plants are poisonous! I wouldn’t put up a display that might hurtsomeone, is she insane?”

“Probably,” Tony put in, wiping his mouth and taking another longswig of water.

“You can’t force people to be smart,” Bucky said.

“She’s gonna bring a lawsuit against us,” Wanda said.

Bucky nodded. “Probably,” he said. “It’ll be okay. We’ll take careof it. You don’t have to be involved.” He sighed. “We’ll give Jenn a heads up,in case something comes of it. It’s okay, Wanda.” He was gently nudging herback to the kitchen, where she could have her breakdown in peace, away from thecustomer’s eyes. He could tell, the way her shoulders were shaking, that shewas very close to hysterics.

“Steve, can you get Wanda some tea?” He made a note to himself toadd a little extra something to Wanda’s Christmas package. “When you’re feelingbetter, go ahead and finish up the decorating?”

Wanda’s mouth thinned. “Yeah,” she said. “It’ll be the best poinsettiatree in the whole city!”

Out of sight of customers, Bucky drew his husband in, wantingreassurance, because damn, Tony had actually scared the hell out of him, andkissed him.

Then Bucky licked his lip; the bitter, desperately bitter,taste was still lingering on Tony’s mouth. “Oh, my God,” Bucky said,grimacing. “That’s like… radishichino. On steroids. Holy hell, why would anyoneactually… disgusting!”

“That’s what I’ve been saying!” Tony said. He slumped againstBucky’s side. “I’m going to brush my teeth with a whole tube of toothpaste.”

Bucky nodded. “Yeah, you… uh, you do that, baby. I’ve got yourspot on the floor for twenty minutes, you take a break.” Bucky reached for hisapron. Crazy panicked mother or not, they had customers to feed. He lookedback, just to make sure Tony wasn’t going to drop over dead from beingpoisoned, then headed out on the floor. Maybe they’d luck out and nothing elsewould happen. At least for the day.

Notes:

https://www.webmd.com/children/features/is-poinsettia-really-poisonous

http://www.mathbits.com/Poinsettia2G.gif