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                     “You are you. Now, isn’t that pleasant?” - Dr. Seuss

The root truth, the sacred admission is I do care what other people think about me. I sat in a meeting for emotional sobriety where I heard more than several women proclaim they don’t give a f*#*k about what others think of them. Some stated they wouldn’t even consider giving a rat’s ass for the thoughts, opinions and comments from others about them. One by one, with each sprouting declaration I felt I was watching someone pick up their sword, secure a shield of armor and place a helmut upon their head, preparing for battle.  

In the group there were a couple of women, naive to their own deep truth, who shared they wish they could not care what others think. I heard a faint toned voice desire to rise like a wartime cross-dresser and follow the others who just declared their independence from acceptance and the need to belong. Honestly, I have spouted this defensive stance, too. I have picked up the verbal sword of defense. At one time. And for a time.  Do you care what others think? 

I wonder if the hidden truth were to rise up like molten lava deep from within our core, how many of us would be stunned to know we truly do care what others think about us. It’s normal and we are hardwired. After all, caring is a way for connection and belonging with others. If we get overloaded, we may either run for cover or stand in fight position.

The meter of emotional sobriety is teaching me how much I actually do care what others think about me and to find a safe middle ground. In my discovery I am learning about the value of connection and vulnerability. At the deep bottom of the sacred truth of caring is internal stability. Therein lies self acceptance of all parts of me - choices, the past, the present as I am experiencing it, and how I see it. I grow in self acceptance, not self-improvement. Defensiveness is constricting and the road narrows. The more I grow to accept all parts and pieces of my self, my internal stability strengthens. Internal stability fosters bravery, fearlessness, undaunted by extreme challenges even failure. Certitude. It’s not easy for me and happens a moment at a time. I do care what others think about me. 

Put down the sword. Don’t reach for the armor. Go for the root truth, and the sacred admission.