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Ahh this is such an interesting question! Now normally, I wouldn’t be sure if he’d exactly have the full wedding process, especially as a criminal with criminal partners. And if he did, he’d probably wanna do the ol’ stop in Vegas and have a fake Elvis officiate. But he does love the glitz of a wedding, and his main goal/motif is love. So for the sake of the ask, let’s take a look!

The Riddler:

This is Edward Nygma we’re talking about, of course Crooner will try to propose via a riddle once he’s on his bended knee! (Question: What’s a small word that carries a lifetime of meaning? Answer: yes!)

With the intimidating task at hand, the two decide not to go too far with a theme. But they do have little references to their lives and relationships throughout the venue. Such as little puzzle pieces at each table.

They probably either do cupcakes or separate cakes (one for the couple and another for the guests) for their main wedding cake. For the cupcakes, the frosting is absolutely green and pink! (Also I can’t get over the idea of Eddie having little globs of frosting on his lips and having Frankie clean it with his thumb.)

The guest aspect for all four of them will be difficult, consider the majority of their friend group are convicted criminals. But they make the best of what they’ve got! Jonathan is absolutely Eddie’s best man, I’m not exactly sure though who would be Frankie’s maid/man of honor. Maybe one of his henchgals/groupies?

The ceremony would be very sweet, with their vows being very personalized… perhaps to the point that guests don’t understand half of the in-jokes. But that doesn’t matter. The game of life’s first level had begun for the happy couple.

The Scarecrow:

I know that this is par for the course for Jonathan but dude is nervous to propose. He was supposed to generate fear, not experience it! He might be a bit shaky as he goes to actually show the ring, but Frankie couldn’t give less of a shit. His excitement soothes any jitters Scarecrow has left.

Two words: BARN. WEDDING. They’ve got the string lights hanging from the canopy, ivy (the plant, not Pam) strung from the support beams, and barrels. So. Many. Barrels.

The food would probably have something to tie back into the slight southern theming? Although Jonathan isn’t southern in BTAS like his other counterparts, I can still see him enjoying Cajun cuisine (as does Crooner). As for the cake… Professor Crane still had to sneak some form of scare into the ceremony/reception. The cake has fake blood when you cut into it!

The wedding party, although small, would have both Crooner and Scarecrow’s closest friends. Riddler returns the favor to be best man, for both groomsmen! As for the maid of honor, Harley gets to have her moment in the spotlight. And the best thing about having a small wedding party? There’s less of a risk of having a blabbermouth guest recount later on about Jonathan getting crunk on the dance floor.

I’m not sure about how their actual vows would go, but I do know that they’d absolutely do some form of ritual. I can see them specifically doing a hand fasting or unity sand ceremony! I feel like Frankie would be all about representing their love in grand gestures, and Jon is more than happy to go along with it.

Mad Hatter:

I can see Jervis planning and stressing over how to propose… when Frankie pops the question. Nothing too big, perhaps some “eat me” cookies with the proposal written on the cookies. But you bet your ass that Hatter is squealing with excitement, fanning his cheeks like the female lead in a rom-com. Oh, calloh callay indeed!

Hatter made the compromise that the theme wouldn’t be entirely Wonderland themed, for the sake of Frankie’s own interests, but he gets his share of references! Red roses for the bouquet, Tenniel’s illustrations framed about the venue, a jumbo-sized chessboard that guests can play during happy hour/reception, stuff like that!

If they did a wedding earlier in the day, you’d bet your ass that he’d want some afternoon tea treats to be apart of the menu. Petit fours, scones, little sandwiches and TEA. For the cake, he lets Crooner take the lead. And to juxtapose with the light flavors, Frankie asks for a dark chocolate cake.

Jervis would probably need to be talked out of asking his old colleagues to come, which uh… wouldn’t be the best call. But as a substitute, he’s able to get his little lab mice to act as ring bearers!

The ceremony would take place in the middle of a hedge maze, with fun decor and mementos scattered throughout the way there. Their vows would be very sentimental and gushy, as that’s just who these guys are. They’ve waited for love and now they have it.

The Penguin:

Overall, Frankie and Ozzie’s engagement and wedding would be the most traditional. And that tracks, considering how both gentleman are hopeless romantic. After Oswald proposes, Crooner takes him in his arms, twirling around with utter glee.

The two would have a fairly generic wedding theme, but with expensive embellishments. Beautiful bouquets about the venue (obviously the Iceberg Lounge), a giant guestbook, a cocktail hour with the Iceberg’s staff on high alert, and slightly gaudy ice sculpture.

You’d best believe that the food will be just as expensive as the decor. Champagne towers, caviar, king salmon, the works. As for the cake, they’d definitely go for rich — for flavor. Something like butterscotch bourbon or Black Forest cake!

Oswald’s own imposter syndrome would make it difficult with the invite process. Frankie would gently remind him that the Vreelands and other hoi polloi’s most likely won’t give much thought to him. In contrast, The Dork Squad, Selina, Pam, and Waylon would be there to celebrate their love. Plus, they’d be more than happy to party at a swanky lounge.