#dlarix

But is it meant to be so.... revealing?

…Yeah, it does. It’s been nearly a year now, come to think of it. You and the others, yeah, they’re all gone, too. I didn’t think I would make it in the beginning, did you know? Sometimes I still feel that way. It’s hard – it’s all hard to deal with, but I’m moving. Not ‘moving on’, just yet. Not completely. But I am still moving.

Does it still hurt?

…Yeah, it does. I did the only thing that knew I could do, and that was not enough. Not for you, anyway. What I did was never enough, at least not in the eyes of your friends. I guess that’s why they are only your friends now.

But does it still hurt?

…Yeah, it does. It’s hard to not talk trash about you, especially the rest of what is left of the others. I’m not as pathetic as I used to be. I’ve gotten my wild emotions finally back under control. I don’t cry or outburst with rage like I did when the wounds were fresh. As Adele said, “They say that time’s supposed to heal you, but I ain’t done much healing.”

But WHY do I still care so much? …You know, that’s a great question. Why am I still hung up about it, 10 months later? I’ve found a new home for myself since then. I’ve found three amazing guilds with whom I have begun my next chapter. I don’t constantly log on to foreign servers in hopes of seeing your name all alone in the late hours of the morning, anymore, but I never forgot that those were our hours. I don’t ask about you from the people that turned on me, anymore. I’m not allowed to know that you survived what came between us.

I could give a fuck about myself.

I only ever wanted you to be happy.