#diychicago

...that you can become emotionally toxic to people regardless of your intentions. Emotionally abused empaths very easily become emotionally abusive narcissists

Intent vs. impact is important. But there are ALWAYS exceptions, especially when someone is going through any kind of trauma or marginalization.

The effects of trauma on a nation or group of people brings out the best but also the worst in ourselves. Just because you assume someone has privilege and no trauma, or because someone is having an invisible panic attack, or because someone looks white because of a connective tissue disease, or because they CAN communicate properly during a crisis, or because they have constant heart attacks and broken bones so their pain tolerance is stupid high.... nothing will ever take away the fact that those are literal truths for lots of people.

Assumed privilege is dangerous. Assumed empathy is dangerous. Assumed consent is dangerous.

But sometimes, you need to call your emergency contact to stop the heart attacks so you don’t die. Sometimes you need to call a person who doesn’t feel well or has anxiety or has any neurodivergencies and triggers because if you don’t, the panic attack will kill you.

Sometimes you get arrested and need to call someone who is afraid of police.

Sometimes you’re so touch starved from your own trauma responses and are panicking so hard about something that you *need* a hug from a person who doesn’t like to be touched.

Sometimes you NEED oxytocin or seratonin or dopamine because your brain doesn’t make those chemicals because you’re in adrenal failure and heart failure and liver failure and you’re allergic to medications and your GI tract is paralyzed...and if you don’t chemically and physiologically calm down *now*, your aorta will shred and you w i l l die this time.

Sometimes you need help. And sometimes you literally can’t bring yourself to ask because of a trauma response involving internal empathy and gatekeeping.

Sometimes you need help.

Sometimes they need help.

Don’t keep walking past them... just stop and ask if they need help.

Because in today’s age with the current social and political cultures, no one else will.