#divorce guide

People all over the world, for thousands of years, have been meditating. It is not necessary to pay anyone to learn to meditate. Even though they tell you their meditation is different, it's not. Meditation is meditation. It's just a way for them to charge for their "course." There is really nothing difficult to learn to meditate. And meditation is nothing mystical.

Daily meditation is good for stress—but it has many other benefits too...

Meditation isn’t just for people who live a stressful, fast-paced lifestyle. While daily meditation can provide a sense of peace and serenity, it also has many other health benefits. There are many ways to meditate, including mindfulness meditation (concentrating on your senses and the present moment), focused-attention meditation (centering around a fixed object), loving-kindness meditation (focusing on loving yourself, friends, strangers, and even people you dislike), and open monitoring meditation (being attentive to thoughts and sensations without judging or engaging them). Try one of these methods to start enjoying the benefits of meditation for yourself.

1. Meditation can help decrease symptoms of stress.

Because meditation enhances a person’s sense of peace and relaxation, it’s no wonder mindfulness meditation has been shown to decrease stress. In two separate studies of cancer patients and healthcare professionals, two groups that tend to have high levels of stress, daily meditation was shown to improve mood, decrease stress symptoms, and improve quality of life. Focused-attention meditation helps draw your mind away from things that cause stress and allows you to concentrate on a fixed object, your breath, or a repeated sound or phrase, such as “I am at meditating.”

2. Meditation can help manage anxiety disorders.

Mindfulness meditation has been shown to reduce anxiety symptoms, both subjective and objective. Other anxiety disorders, such as depression and panic attacks, also saw similar positive benefits. In a three-year follow-up of a small study, people who had experienced panic attacks reported they had fewer and less severe attacks after starting to meditate regularly. Loving-kindness meditation has been shown to increase positive emotions and decrease symptoms of depression. In many studies, these meditation benefits appeared over time, making daily meditation an important factor in decreasing anxiety disorder symptoms.

3. Meditation can improve the quality of your sleep.

Millions of people suffer from insomnia or other sleep problems, and stress is often the culprit. Mindfulness meditation has been shown to improve sleep by calming the mind, helping people take their attention off their to-do list or other stresses and instead focus on being fully aware of the present moment. Research has shown spending just 20 minutes in daily meditation can reduce sleep disturbances. And yes, sleep meditation can be practiced during the day, and you’ll still reap the benefits at night.

4. Meditation can boost cognition and immune function.

In a study involving just four sessions of meditation training, researchers assessed participants’ working memory, visual-spatial processing, and mood, among other factors. All these measurements were improved, and the participants also experienced reduced fatigue and greater ability to pay attention. Another study showed the practice of mindfulness meditation gave participants a better ability to multitask, greater focus on tasks, and lower stress levels while completing assignments that involve multitasking. Loving-kindness meditation has been shown to reduce stress-induced immune reactivity. Another study showed mindfulness meditation increased antibody production after participants received a flu vaccine.

5. Meditation can be a component of pain management.

Daily meditation has been found to reduce both pain intensity and unpleasantness. Research has shown meditation to reduce pain unpleasantness (how much it bothers you) even more than it reduces pain intensity (how strong the pain was). In one study, just four days of mindfulness meditation training helped reduce participants’ experience of pain. In that study, researchers noticed changes in brain function that causes the subjective experience of pain. Study participants reported that the open monitoring method of meditation was more effective at reducing pain than focused-attention meditation.

6. Meditation can make for healthier relationships.

Beyond personal improvement, daily meditation has been associated with higher relationship satisfaction. Studies have shown several links, including lower personal stress levels as well as a greater ability to respond well when stress occurs within a relationship. People who practice meditation also were found to have more positive perceptions of their relationships, both before and after conflicts. Meditation practitioners also tended to have better communication within their relationships, including an increased ability to control anger.

These are the guys you should forget about:

—Rebound Guy: He's always comparing you with his ex. Avoid him until he's healed;

—Disappearing Guy: If he always has excuses like "work's really busy"—there is usually something else going on. The giveaway is erratic contact;

—Slick Guy: If his life looks like a magazine spread (sports car, high-tech stuff) steer clear—he's hiding his insecurities;

—Rude Guy:  Always checking his blackberry, oogling other women when you're with him. Tell him to get lost;

—Grabby Guy: If his hands are all over you and he's making sexual innuendos—when you hardly know him. Get rid of him;

Feeling overwhelmed by the whole"D-word" process? Same. It's a lot.

We found/made this super thorough guide that doesn't just talk about lawyers and courts. It gets into the real stuff—the money stress, the kid stuff, and how to not totally lose your mind in the middle of it all.

Think of it as a friendly, no-BS handbook for getting through a divorce in America. It breaks down the confusing legal terms and gives you a real look at what’s ahead.

For anyone who needs a map right now. >> [Link to Article]

Guide to Prepare For A Divorce - Infographic

With a multitude of divorce tips from the internet and self-help books, acquiring the essentials on how to rise above this challenging ordeal can be your best offense. The grueling process of divorce can take a toll on your health, finances, and mental stability. Equipping yourself with valuable divorce tips that have stood the test of time is vital for survival.

Benefits of good communication. One of the most common divorce tips you can find is the attempt to keep this often nasty process out of the court room. Mutual resolution is evidently the perfect scenario to aim for, and it is indeed feasible through open and constructive communication. This will provide a fitting venue to communicate your individual concerns without the fear of being attacked by your spouse.

Integrity is key. Throughout the course of filing papers, settling, or court trial when applicable, keeping your values no matter how tempting it might be not to, must be at the top of your list of divorce tips. You have to preserve your dignity by being honest—from your financial records to your accounted married life. You owe it to yourself and to your children to walk away from this difficult chapter in your life with self-respect.

Set an example. It is your children who carry the irrevocable damages of a broken home. While some divorce tips focus on the husband’s and wife’s standpoint, putting the child’s interest first and foremost can give you a wider and more mature perspective on things. You have to know that saying negative statements about your spouse in front of the kids only worsens the already painful experience for them. Keeping it civil helps the children to feel a sense of consistency, which is important when the big change finally occurs.

No one should get married without a Prenuptial Agreement in place! It doesn't matter how much or how little you have, you always have to protect yourself! You are making the biggest decision of your life to marry someone.

And second and sometimes third marriages—and the extended families that sometimes come with them—require financial and estate planning. Forty percent of new marriages include at least one spouse who was previously married. A Prenuptial agreement is especially a necessity when getting married after the first time.

There are two key issues every Prenup should address:

The first is how the assets will be divided in the event of a divorce or a death. The time to address this is before you get married. Divorce rates for second marriages, third marriages, etc. are even higher than those for first marriages. While you hope this marriage will work, you just never know. You should have at least three to six months before the wedding to work out the details and have the Prenup finalized.

The second is deciding how your personal accounts and other assets, such as real estate will be kept separate after marriage. It's crucial that you keep them separate.

Typically a Prenup will spell out what each partner is bringing to the marriage—including income, real estate, retirement savings—and whether each asset will be treated as separate or joint. Most important is that a prenup can shield one partner from any liabilities accumulated prior to the marriage, including student loans, credit card debt, and alimony and/or child support. It is very important that how to treat debt should be decided prior to the marriage and in the Prenup. In the event of a divorce, sometimes courts try to divide debt equally between the two parties. You have to be sure to protect yourself.

Any gifts given during the marriage should not be considered marital assets but should belong to the person receiving the gift.

More than one-third of adults said Prenups make smart financial sense, according to a Harris survey. “The time to plan for a divorce is not when you’re in a state of hate,” says Suzie Orman. You can’t fully protect yourself against a marital heartbreak, but at least you can protect your assets.

If you’re currently unmarried, but a previous marriage lasted at least 10 years, you could qualify for spousal benefits based on your ex’s work record. The amount can be up to 50% of the worker’s benefit at his or her full retirement age. If you remarry, however, the divorced spouse benefit stops. You must be at least 62 to get spousal benefits.

If your ex has died and the marriage lasted at least 10 years, you could qualify for survivor benefits of up to 100% of your ex’s benefit. You can remarry at 60 or older (or 50 and older if disabled) and still receive divorced survivor benefits. Survivor and divorced survivor benefits can begin at age 60, or at age 50 if the survivor is disabled, or at any age if you’re caring for your ex’s child who is under 16 or disabled (and in that case, the 10-year marriage requirement is waived). People receiving survivor benefits can switch to their own benefit later if that’s larger, and vice versa.