The decision to divorce does not come overnight. Certainly, many small factors lead up to the split over a period of time. An article by Jennifer Oikle, Ph.D on Huffington Post lists five starter reasons a couple or spouse may consider ending a marriage.

  Image source: Huffington Post

Sign 1: It Hurts More than it Feels Good A happy, healthy love feels good most of the time. Sure, even good relationships include an argument every now and then, but if you feel sad, mad, or anxious more of the time than not, it’s a clear sign this isn’t the right relationship for you.

Sign 2: What You Used to Love is Now Annoying Opposites attract and in the beginning, they can create hot chemistry. But over time,those differences can breed contempt. So at first, when your outgoing boyfriend was the life of the party, maybe your shy side felt alive, important, and sexy. But now, you find his endless energy draining, and his flirtatious, extrovert behavior makes you feel insecure. Once the sparks die down, if your fundamental personality differences become the source of constant conflict, realize it isn’t fair to ask either of you to change who you are. Move on to a better fit instead.

Sign 3: You’d Rather Be Somewhere, Anywhere Else At the start of a romance, you want to be together all of the time. You text and call constantly and spend every available moment together. While it’s normal for that to die down to allow back in your other interests, if you find you just feel apathetic about being together, avoiding his calls, or always scheduling some girl time instead, that’s a red flag alert. Apathy about your partner has an even worse prognosis than vicious fighting, because if you are bored and just don’t care anymore, it usually means your connection has run it’s course. Better to part as friends now.

Sign 4: You Keep Having the Same Old Fights The mark of a relationship that works is being able to resolve conflicts to create a deeper connection. If you keep fighting over the same issues over and over, with very little progress, it’s a clue that a fundamental part of your personalities just isn’t the right match. You might as well admit that you don’t naturally meet each other’s needs and move on to a partner who doesn’t have to twist himself into a pretzel to be your dream guy.

Sign 5: You’ve Developed a Wandering Eye When you’re really into a guy, you naturally only have eyes for him. It’s as if your guy-dar turns off and no other man exists in the world. If suddenly your barista is looking sexy, you’re making excuses to talk to the cute co-worker in the next cubicle, or you’ve accepted a lunch offer from your ex, chances are your heart has become curious about new possibilities.

The first in a series of posts I'll be making that attempts to answer the big BIG question: 

Why

My family has had terrible luck scheduling -- and then having to cancel -- vacations. So buying "trip insurance" through a company like TravelGard has been standard operating procedure for the last couple of years.

Yet every time X books the trip and then buys the policy, something always goes wrong. Always.

So last January, we decided to splurge and buy a vacation package to Bermuda. March 2012 was the last time I spent quality time with X, during a 5 day long escape to the wonderful British isle outpost. So X books the trip in early January, to coincide with my birthday in early March. I remind her to also buy the insurance, cautioning her to do it carefully this time to avoid any problems, and she just gives me a look like, "of course, you idiot.."

So of course a week later, the phone rings: My mom reports my Dad is in the hospital with more heart problems. He's been a physical wreck for years but this just feels like the end. I pick up and fly from Philly to my boyhood home in Oregon on January 20. My mom, brother and I spent almost every hour between then and Feb. 2 when he finally passed away.

The next day, Feb. 3, I call X as she making plans to come for the funeral. I tell her  to please cancel our Bermuda trip and to file a claim through TravelGard to collect on our trip insurance. I'm crossing my fingers that X did all the paperwork right this time and we'll get our $7,000 back. I make sure to get a death certificate on my father as "proof" of our need to cancel the trip. It seems like a very simple claim given the circumstances.

We get through the funeral, I remain in the west to help get my Mother settled back in (...5 days after I leave she drinks 5 glasses of wine, rolls off her bed and breaks her hip..... jeez) and more time passes.

So as my birthday comes and goes (yeah, she didn't do anything for my birthday -- that'll be reason 552) and I recall we were to be in Bermuda. "How's the TravelGard insurance claim going," I ask.

"Fine," says X.

This same scene repeated itself through March and April. Every time I asked about the claim, she said it was fine, or that this is the normal time it takes to be processed.

I go onto the TravelGuard website to check myself -- no, most claims are paid within 4-5 weeks. That would have been in April at the latest. 

So now I'm asking: "What's wrong with the Travel Guard claim?" So X hands me a letter she received a few weeks back. It turns out we had a bit of a timing problem. Let's review:

Jan. 10 -- we book trip. I ask X to also buy TravelGuard policy.

Feb. 2 -- My father passes away.

Feb. 4 -- X finally gets around to buying trip insurance.

Anybody see a problem with this timing?

X doesn't apologize or take any responsibility for her massive screwup. It's $7,000!!!! Not exactly just a few quarters. I don't yell or scream - I'm beyond just those emotions at that point. I just tell her: I'll handle this.

Unfortunately for me -- but fortunately in the long run -- I noticed some footpain right after I got back to Philly in late February. I had some Xrays taken -- wow, 4 broken bones in my foot. I was given crutches and a walking boot by my doctor, I consult a surgeon for possible surgery. 

Sure enough, this is just the kind of thing that's needed to support the claim -- even though she bought the policy way, way late.

I get all the materials together myself, fax them into the Travel Guard office at the beginning of July. Three weeks later, a check arrives in the mail. All $7,000 back in my pocket.

So I texted X the good news. Her response:

"Yeah, I knew it would work out. It always does."

Yes. It always does. When I do it.

And she's still never admitted her screw up.