#divineautonomy

/i love every word of this. Your blog is casually pulling me back into Kuroshitsuji hell, thank.

more of column A, a bit of column B. ciel is food, first and foremost—yana described sebastian’s particular method of grooming souls in a way that’s both humorous and telling, i think: a man decides he wants to have gyudon (or… idk, a steak) for dinner, so he takes a years-long course to study the best methods to raise cows for the finest beef, enrols in the finest culinary school, et cetera… and years later, finally has the best gyudon ever made. ciel is the cow being raised for slaughter in this case; on the most fundamental level, everything sebastian does is calculated to mold him into the most satisfying possible meal. honestly, to a large degree, i don’t even think he likes him.

but on the other hand, he does have a certain protectiveness—perhaps more in a sense of propriety, in that ciel is his possession, but there’s also an occasional, but present, paternal note to it. it’s more or less reflexive, i think; he has had to play the parent figure to ciel by necessity and so it has become part of his “role.” i’m actually going to pull up a bit from a fanfic of mine where i think i portrayed this well—it’s from a fic set after season 2, from sebastian’s point of view regarding ciel having been turned into a demon.

The thing that was his master lasts a week before it begins crying in the night. The first time, he feels a faint stab of concern despite himself, because he had spent three long years training himself to produce the appropriate emotional response to his child-master’s moments of weakness, but in an instant that feeling is quashed.

What quietly sobs behind the charred bedroom door is no longer a child, after all. He no longer needs artfully balance his contradictory agendas, both encouraging his master’s soul to steep and simmer in darkness and providing just enough of a tether to the light to keep an irreparably damaged human child from falling headlong into despair. No—he need not fret over its peace of mind any more than he is ordered to. A demon may suffer any grief or agony of mind and survive all of it, because it is simply impossible to do otherwise.

he does “care” in the sense that he has an innate emotional response to ciel being in danger, or distress, and so on, but it isn’t natural, it’s something he has conditioned himself to have. in that sense, this parental protectiveness isn’t “genuine”, but it’s so automatic it may as well be. and on a more practical level, he is keenly aware that ciel is a child and certainly bears this in mind… even if he has to do it behind the scenes. (the bit where he asks francis to be a role model to ciel because he needs a responsible adult to guide him is one of the few genuinely kind things i can think of that sebastian does regarding ciel, and while it is part of “preparing the meal”, i’m sure… it is a case where his own interests and what is actually best for ciel intersect. on top of that, there’s the point where he takes soma and agni’s advice on parenting, haha. he only really listens because agni pulls the “as your friend” card, but once he’s accepted the possibility that he has actually been doing something wrong as a guardian, he tries to fix it.)

she’s lying (slouching) on the couch (nearly in between the couch cushions) and there’s a magazine propped against her upright thighs. she’s pointing at him with a pink glitter gel pen, but her eyes are-- quite seriously in expression, too-- fixed on the pages of the magazine.

Send me “✒︎” for a random, dumb, pointless fact about my muse.

Dana likes to watch horror movies with Theodore, the ghost who lives in her apartment.  Particularly the bad ones.  They make fun of them.  (...and have favorites.)

Dana hates grape-flavored anything.  That’s not grape.  Quit trying to pretend it is.  (To that end, when she offers other people lollipops, it’s often the grape-flavored ones.)