#district447

AMAZING! 😍

The two idiots in love, the suspense? 🤩 I'm in love and can't wait to read the next parts ❤️

Ahhhhh thank you so much, this means so much to me because I was a bit on the should i-shouldn't i train when this idea came to me. So it makes me feel even more motivated to finish writing this! Thank you so much for this!!!

Oops, only took me ~2 weeks to answer this. Sorry Barbara! And thank you for sending this my way :) I tried to make them more general, vs what kept coming to mind. Three that came to mind quickly!

One of the oldest pieces of clothing I still wear is a Smithsonian sweatshirt I got on my first trip to DC. I mostly wear it at home, but it's been with me through so much. (I got it in 2010! Dec 7, 2010, more accurately! At the National Air and Space Museum.)

I cannot believe I'm working for [redacted], even if it's as a contractor. (Which I now know is most of us there, lol.) For as many doubts as I have about my long-term plans for… anything I can also say I am in a good professional place (stress and perfectionism aside). Might be the one thing I have sorted out, lmao.

Thank you, Barbara! 💜💜💜 These were challenging to answer, but I appreciated having to reflect on some of those things! 😌 🥰

🌻what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going?

What makes me want to give up: knowing thinking I'm not that good a writer, and I don't add anything of value to the “archive,” so to speak – especially when I think others (my extremely talented friends) are just doing a much better job than I am tackling similar themes, in a more engaging way. Also, and perhaps relatedly, my insecurities (the language barrier! the feeling I haven't improved a bit!) and the lack of feedback/engagement I sometimes perceive I get. I am aware I write for a small, often unfairly maligned ship, but I'll still overanalyze when some people leave a nice comment but don't kudos, for example. (Depending on my mood, I'll either think it was a silly oversight, or they were humoring me.) tl;dr: I don't like the effect craving this validation has on my mental health, basically, esp when it's something I've successfully curved in other areas of my life.

What makes me keep going: to be honest, I've been struggling with this for the past year (see: 'why do this when I think others are just doing a much better job'). I've been writing quite frequently for the last six years (posting infrequently, only for two-ish), and it's something that makes me happy. I don't plan on stopping at this moment. Posting is something different altogether. I do crave validation, unfortunately, and compliments make me feel flattered and so very happy. But… I like thinking that someone out there will find a couple of my fics years down the line, just like I did with some authors myself, and they'll enjoy them, even if they are not that good!

💋when you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer?

I'd love to, if they want to reply, but I don't need to get a reply! Comments are a way for readers to let authors know how they felt, but once they are out there, they belong to the author more than to myself. I understand why some don't like to, or don't want to, respond, but I know that doesn't mean they don't appreciate them. Comments are so personal! 🥹 (I can't express myself properly today, so I hope that made some sense.)

I personally do it, if only because I want to thank them for taking time to read + comment. I also love rambling about things they touch on (and hope they don't mind my doing that). Sometimes it takes me weeks to get back to it, particularly if I'm in my feelings about writing and don't feel deserving of love for it. (People kept being sweet and reassuring but my insecurities still got/get the best of me. Fun times!)

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

Ah, pasapalabra. Can't avoid it? Uhhhh. I basically can't judge my writing – I'm my biggest supporter and my harshest critic. But…

I sometimes go back to some stories (but never somewhere I've already posted it in) and find myself impressed about how decent they are, and/or feeling emotional about things that happen in those stories. As if I hadn't written them and knew its emotional beats. I guess… I can be good at emotion and making it feel earned? (I'm at a loss. Pls help.)

You've created an amazing OC and now I wish Jay did have a sister on the show 🥺

That's my favourite one of her nicknames too, haha!

And thank you! That's a huge compliment. I love Bex so much and her relationship with all of the actual show characters. It makes me wish there was a third Halstead in the OC-verse too! They need one on Chicago Fire for a Halstead hat trick. :D

Oops, I forgot I had more questions to answer. Thank you for asking!

I got this one before, and my answer still stands. Trying is such a wonderful show.

I've hit 30 this month too, welcome to the club 😃 *sending you a big virtual hug 💞

Thank you Barbara!!!

But it was definitely fun to write it 😃

It was a fresh perspective (I mean im an SPN fan lol) so I really liked it, it worked well and you write well too!

I know the feeling of hesitation all too well but it turned out good! Like what you guys always tell me hehe <3

Ah!!! Thank you so much!!! I always worry about fics but I wanted to try out writing one with a case since i hadnt done it in a while.

Im floored, thank you for enjoying it so much and for telling me how much you liked it!!