im so jealous of everyone i know who has a family they can talk to. siblings they can laugh with and count on. what the fuck is like. really i want to know. because im mentally preparing myself for one brother to be dead in 10 years, to cut one off for being a narcissistic jackass and the last wont tell the truth about anything. ive always blamed not being close with any of them on the age difference between all of us but theres no denying to clear personality clash either. the oldest is a self righteous know it all who dropped out of high school and is making his way in life off of borrowed money from my parents he feels he doesnt need to pay them back. god i want to punch him in the fucking throat. the youngest is a drunk with a TBI (great combo huh?) who is absolutely hopeless without my mom doing everything for him and is just as much as an ignorant dipshit as the oldest. the middle one i can actually hold a conversation with and he has potential to actually do something with his life if he just stops messing around and applies himself. im the youngest and already know ill be the first to move out. if i didnt look so much like my mother id say im adopted. they all dropped out of highschool or graduated bottom of the class, done every drug i can think of, blow their money on cars and shit instead of getting their own place despite being almost 30. and here i am, miss involved in highschool, going to college in engineering of all things, trying to apply to grad school, in a dual degree program, no drugs, not pregnant, and the most financially burdensome thing i do is buy eggo waffles with my moms debit card
