#discordius

On an average Wednesday morning, an unholy screech of "MY WATERS BROKEN!" pierces the veil of sleep between two normal people. Chatter gets out of bed, going to his wife's side, putting his hand down on her shoulder, looking past her huge badonkers to her belly. "HONEY DON'T WORRY, CAN YOU MAKE IT TO THE CAR?!" he yells. Chattette nods. They hobble over to the car, the overnight bag already in the back, towels on the seats. "HOLD ON HONEY!" Chatter yells to his wife as they hit a pothole, while on the main road. Chatette screams, and places one hand on her stomach. "CAN'T YOU GO ANY FASTER?" "HONEY I'M TRYING OKAY?! ITS GONNA BE FINE!!" Chatter screams slightly hysterical. He sees the car of his old highschool rival, Trae, a little bit behind him. He doesn't know why he noticed. He keeps driving. 

Trae glances up, out of his fire-engine red, jacked up Ford Fusion, and spots Chatter. He nearly smiles, but stops when the high-pitched shriek meets his ears. He frowns.  Back to Chattette, She looks down. From her perspective, you can't see anything past huge badonkers + her belly, but let's imagine. Chatette sees the fact that she forgot shoes. She can't show off Prada at the hospital now! Chattette is very pissed at this. Maybe Chatter at least packed her gold Gucci slides? Either way, Trae's dick went into this kid, so Chatter wouldn't be useful anymore. Hell, Trae didn't even know about Chatter either. Chat is too busy behind the wheel to notice Trae's look at him or his wife, but if he did, that wouldn't be good. He sure doesn't notice his wife's glance at him. Hopefully the kid looks like Chattette, right?

Hell, he only called her his wife. Truth is, she said she didn't wanna get tied down. He respected that, but it threw him off a bit. Still, the pregnancy held them together. They arrived to the emergency ward, Nurses rushing to meet them. Chattette notices Trae pull up in the parking lot as she is taken into emergency care. Chatter is just worried.

Trae opens the door and hops out of his car, nearly spraining his ankle from jumping from that high up. You should have used the foot stool meant for that purpose. He walks into the hospital after the couple goes in. Only family can get in the hospital room, but ……. well, he is. Chatter finally notices Trae. Chattette has as much of an evil smirk as she can manage in this much pain. "Uh, Trae? Why are you here?"

"Uh, because I'm the father of Chattette's child? What are YOU doing here?"

"Same reason, apparently?" 

The child.... looks nearly identical to Trae. The only thing stopping it is the heterochromia- One of Trae's brown eyes, and one of Chatette's blue ones.

they both, in unison, stop talking and spin around as a child's cry pierces the air.

Chatter sees this and blinks. He slowly starts sobbing. 

"Chattette, what... What the fuck?"

"Chatter wait!" Trae yells, but it's too late as Chatter runs out of the hospital and into his car. Chattette is grinning all the while with her new child, Sharon, while a nurse grumbles angrily about "third time this week" and "stupid fucking kids, ruining their relationships."

Chatter doesn't know what to do. He decides to head to arbys. eat his heart out and try and find out whether he and Trae can sort it out. 

The nurse is so tired that they just leave. There's security cameras, if it gets bad then we'll know who started it, I guess. Trae turns to Chatette, and what is obviously his kid. 

"You cheated on me?!" He exclaims, angry but also mildly relieved.

"Actually, I cheated on Chatter, but what's the point? you're still stuck with me, or everyone will know what you are hun! No give me a kiss before the doctors get concerned, 'kay?"

'conceited bitch' He thinks to himself.

"No."

"WHAT was that, hunny? You going to go be homosexual with my ex?  You know I will tell them~~"

"I don't care. You fucking disgust me. Good luck on your own, Chattette." Trae walks out, on the verge of tears. Chattette was cheating on two men, just to hold them both down? Fuck it, tomorrow he's going full College homo. But first, Arbys.

Chat, at Arbys, has the desire to eat one of everything, but decides that maybe some soda, a burger, and some curly fries is a good start. He sits in a window booth, and then glances up. Like he's in a music video, the window reflects back to him his sad, crumpled face. His eyes are kinda watery. He's pretty glad he didn't marry Chattette after all. So much for a family though. He crams some fries into his burger. Luckily for him he guesses, at least Chattette won't get on his back for eating meat anymore. Maybe he can even go wear his leather jacket again! Still, he's probably gonna have to deal with Trae soon. Then, Comically, Trae walks through the door. 

If I could play a laugh track, I would. But nobody's smiling, except for those happy families. The workers aren't, and Trae goes up to get some food. Nice- He gets a milkshake. He is on a slightly healthier diet, so this is a slight reward for him. He sits in the booth parallel to Chatter. He doesn't realise it, but he says "Damn that bitch" out loud in his husky accent. 

Chatter hears him. "Trae, dude?". Chat moves parallel to him. "What the fuck happened back there with my... What happened with Chattette?" Chatter brings his food along with him. Is this a date? Chatter's lips purse as he looks back to Trae. He waits for Trae to explain.

Trae feel the need to say one thing. "I only did it for my safety. I'm fucking gay."

".......So that explains the booty shorts on valentines day!" Trae nearly smiled. Those were some comfy booty shorts, and very gay. He stopped it though, taking a bite of his order. Chatter made a weird face halfway in - between a smile and a :| .

"I still fit mine." Chatter admits this much.

Trae is slightly concerned with how much he blushes at both the acceptance and also the vision of Chat in those sexy booty shorts. "Same here, I still have a tonne of em. I could've gotten married in em!"

"then again, it's only been two years!"

"I guess you're right."

The conversation turns awkward. Awe, no. By coincidence, a kid zooms by. He stops, and makes a truck noise as he stops by the table. With wide, curious eyes- he asks very bluntly: "Are you two gay?"

Chat points at himself "I think?!" They look at eachother. "yes"

"yes" They both said, finally.  The kid slams a toy down on the table- a rainbow mcdonalds toy, and zooms off. look at him go-

"Uh." Chatter starts something, then stops. 

Trae, ever the top in the relationship, picks it up again. He rubs his neck. "Do you wanna maybe... get outta here?"

"we can head back to mine if you want, gonna have to move Cheater C's shit out anyway. I know her dad'll take care or the rest anyway." He's blushing slightly. He makes that head movement of 'c'mon lessgo' towards the exit, and they both head toward their respective vehicles. 

"WAIT! PHONE NUMBER?!" Chat yells quickly

Trae yells his phone number over to Chat, who saves his contact with a heart and a question mark. He blocks Chattette while he's at it. 

"Just follow me to my place, we're only ten mins away!" he yells over. He hops into his car and revs the engine. Then the two lads hit the road. As soon as they get home, Chatter calls a locksmith over- replacing the two locks in all the doors, so Chatette can't get in. He gets a master key, and bit his tongue as he got another one. Who knows.... Chatter starts to pull out some trash bags, putting Cheater Chattette's .. everything in their boxes, into the bags. Man, she has a lot of shit.

"wait should i delete her island on animal crossing?"

"DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT"

She won't be getting that back any time soon.  He moves on to the baby room. What USED to be the guest room.

"Uh Trae, we have a problem. There's only one bed in the house. You fine with taking the bed?"

Trae shrugs. "I can take the couch. By the way- random question , what's your favorite movie?" 

Chatter only frowns. "Megamind, and you're taking the bed, it's horrible for your posture. You- you have an excellent bo- SPINE, and mine's just really messed up. I'll take the couch." 

Trae sighs. "As soon as you fall asleep on the couch, I'm moving you to the bed."

They both stop. >:| is on both of their faces.

"Megamind is also my favorite movie though. Do you want to watch it on the couch before we fight about this some more?" He has a small smile on his face, and they go to do that.  One bag of m&ms later, they're .. really close on the couch. They make offhand comments through the film, one of which from Chatter is 'Chattette would never have done this with me...' Trae looks at him out of the corner of his eyes, and holds his hand under the blanket. 

Chat blushes slightly, smiling gently. He leans closer to Trae, ""Just for warmth"" he tells himself. The movie is coming towards a good bit. However, it seems Trae had fallen asleep. Chatter poked him a bit before giving up. He just snuggled closer and smiled, cramming his face full of m&ms. Chat snuggles deeper into the cuddle, and Trae moves slightly in his sleep. Waking up slightly, he notices the pressure on him and looks down. Very gently, he puts his arm around Chat. He drifts back off to sleep, not before whispering a little something.