Meh honest offer for the relaxing and instead of you getting fucked it was going to be you getting pampered. But hey see you at the duck pond soon, Also just a blunt statement don't assume everyone is coming ta ya instantly to fuck your nice ass, afterall some might just want to talk and chill with a smoking hot demon.
[He doesn't answer this ask. His ego's taken a big enough blow this evening, mostly due to his own fault; he's very protective of his reputation, and there's absolutely nothing his reputation would gain from broadcasting somebody else scolding him on his own station for jumping to conclusions.
Anyway, he has nothing to say in reply to it. His reputation also wouldn't win any points if he gave the caller his honest response:
If somebody comes into his inbox wanting just to talk and chill with a smoking hot demon, he wants them to shut up. The smoking hot demon doesn't want to talk and chill with every stranger that deigns to speak to him. The smoking hot demon wants them to shut their mouths, fuck his nice ass, and then leave him alone. The smoking hot demon dislikes attempts to pamper him and dislikes the people attempting to do the pampering.
The smoking hot demon gets online to ask over and over for sex, sex, sex, sex, and sex. If somebody gets on his blog to offer him kindness, sympathy, and relaxation, then they are not giving him what he asked for and they're wasting his fucking time and he hates them. If somebody gets on his blog to offer him flattery, gifts, and treats, then they are not giving him what he asked for and they're wasting his fucking time and he hates them.
And even worse, these people think that they're trying to offer him something nice and good and desirable, and they assume he's only turning it down because he's so sex-obsessed that he's somehow oblivious to the comforts that people could be offering him instead. They don't dare to think that maybe when he says what he wants, he know exactly what he's talking about and he's telling the truth. Every single person who has ever seen Alastor ask for sex and has thought "I could give him sex—but instead, for some reason, I think it's better to give him conversation or compliments or gifts" has decided that they know better than him about his own needs. And that makes them condescending and patronizing and it means they have no respect for him, but they're going to go home patting themselves on the back about how respectful they're being.
And he hates them for that. He hates them because they actively make his life worse and feel like good samaritans for it. He hates them for not giving him what he asked for and wasting his fucking time. He hates them for taking up hours of his time on banal chatter and preventing him from finding someone who's willing to agree to sex in under five minutes. He hates them like a starving dog whining for food hates a man with a bulging bagful of hot raw meat who decides that what the dog really wants is a pat on the head.
He has a biological need for sex. When he talks to strangers online, it's to find sex. Anyone who tries to give him something other than sex is starving him.
He hates the people who want to talk and chill with a smoking hot demon. How dare you. The smoking hot demon is Alastor the Radio Demon, an ugly, cruel, ungrateful, murderous monster of a man who has zero interest in anybody who isn't useful or entertaining to him—and if YOU aren't useful to him, then you have NO RIGHT to demand his company and act like you're paying him a compliment, and he hates YOU.
—and that's why he swallows his rage instead of replying to this message. Because he's an ugly, cruel, ungrateful, murderous monster, and he can't let his audience know.
He has a biological need for sex. In a very literal sense, he goes insane without it. It takes less than a week without sex for his mind to get so foggy that he can't physically take care of his own basic survival needs. And it takes less than six hours for his most recent fuck to start wearing off.
His survival is dependent upon people finding him fuckable. His fuckability is dependent upon people finding him likable. His audience sticks around because he's generally friendly and funny and accommodating—tolerant of their tedious time-wasting. They stick around because they don't know that he personally hates a majority of them. He has to bite his tongue around the sinners that waste two weeks being friendly with him on the faint hope that by the third week, they might finally fuck him.
If he's not likable, nobody offers to fuck him—and he goes insane.
Once upon a time, Alastor the Radio Demon would have slaughtered and consumed anyone who had dared try to chide him on his own station. But Alastor the succubus goes to the duck pond to fuck.]
