Jun 13, 2025
Kitchen disaster??? Wembly lol I love them :333
Dinah has her work cut out for her
(Thank you so much for the request! I hope you enjoy!)
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Kitchen disaster??? Wembly lol I love them :333
Dinah has her work cut out for her
(Thank you so much for the request! I hope you enjoy!)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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So. I have some choices to make re: this week's baking endeavor. My spouse's coworker's girlfriend </spaceballs> is vegan and gluten free, and has requested pistachio muffins. Possibly pistachio cupcakes. We're not sure. Either way, I have a lot of gluten free flour and vegan egg substitute that I might as well use. I should probably source some pistachio milk or something, though. Hmm.
I remembered you can borrow cookbooks from the library and found Kat Lieu's Modern Asian Baking blog, where she has a recipe for Red Velvet Doubanjiang Mochi Brownies. Which is not a string of words I would have ever considered putting in that order, but seeing that recipe made me order six pounds of sweet rice flour from Amazon and it just arrived today.
Every time I go to Costco, I see Cara Cara oranges on sale and buy another bag of them. I am drowning in oranges. I made candied orange peel this weekend and still have bags of oranges. But! More importantly, the candied peel can be used to make hot cross buns. "But v Easter was this past weekend" oh ho ho! Orthodox Easter is next weekend! "but v shouldn't you make pascha instead" sorry I can't hear you I don't know how to read.
so. tumblr.
what am I baking this week.
coworker-in-law's vegan/gf pistachio muffincakes
mochi brownies! mochi muffins! mochi EVERYTHING!
hot cross buns (or some other Easter-adjacent bakery fuckery)
why do you keep buying oranges holy shit girl go make some marmalade
some other disaster (give me suggestions)
I would like to now present the poly cule that is disaster kitchen. Which is just Sebastian, Agni, Bard and Meyrin.
Why? Cause my brain open the gate and saw multiplie new opportunities. I will proceed to now post several head cannons to ease to power I have unlock.
that feeling when you make coffee cake and you try and eat it and it’s just so not very good that your craving for coffee cake is just gone and also you now have to buy new oil and flour and sugar plus cinnamon because you spilt it all over the floor so smooth
Disaster kitchen, "home chef sent too many goddamn carrots this week" edition. Used the King Arthur Flour recipe, since it's the one I actually had all the ingredients for. 9x13 sheet pan, bake time of 45 minutes, no nuts. Really lovely texture/crumb, but nuts wouldve been nice and it maybe needs a smidge more salt. Cream cheese frosting would've been nice with some lemon zest, but I feel like most things are improved by a little zest.
I haven't done this much baking since 2020! (And in 2020 it was mostly like...a trauma response.) Baking used to be my Thing, and much like writing and listening to music, it was something that I just stopped doing for a long time. Feels nice to get back into it.
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Lament
It's a death zone:
Things stacked precariously,
Knives hidden dubiously,
Food rotting mislaid,
Visitors pausing afraid.
It's a simple kitchen:
Utensils meant for a drawer,
Things in the fridge for sure,
Tools blocked from reach,
Avoidance what it'll teach.
I lament the times that left:
Where baking could be done,
The kitchen could be fun,
Requests were actually made,
How the memories fade.
She laments a childhood behind:
Old washing up patterns,
New ones she never learns,
A million quibbles of yesteryear,
I just don't care, I fear.
It's a kitchen of lamenting
That carries a heavy sting,
Or slice if you find those knives,
I'm trying not to I confide.
HOW?
So I’m drinking 7Up. I don’t often drink pop these days and was finding it too sweet. So I had the bright idea: “Hey! I’ll add in some lemon juice! That’ll cut the sweetness down!”
Nope. Made it sweeter. Like, a LOT sweeter. It now tastes like instead of pure lemon juice, I added a quarter cup of icing sugar.
What. The. Hell.
apple caramel test
1/2c white sugar 1/2c brown sugar 1/2c honey/corn syrup mixture 1c filtered apple cider 3/4c heavy cream 2 tbs butter cloves cardamom cinnamon sticks bring the sugars and cider to a boil in one pot while infusing the spices in the cream in another. Add the cream when the sugar gets to around 240; heat to 248. We'll see if the apple cider affects the temperature at which the caramel forms the way honey can; usually a half and half mix of honey and corn syrup is enough to give a honey flavor but not the honey texture. I'm also a little worried about the apple cider burning, which is why I didn't bring the sugar to 300 the way I normally would; it was starting to smell burnt instead of delicious. I might try a half batch later and properly caramelize the sugars, to see if the cider can survive the higher temperature. The apartment smells amazing, though, so at least there's that; after last night's fishcakes adventure, spiced apples is a pleasant change.