#disabledsos project

Note: this is my entry for the #disabledsos fan project hosted by @skinnylukes. This blurb is personal to me since I myself have this condition and wanted to write about what I know. If you have any questions about this, please feel free to ask me! I have about 8 years’ worth of experience with Hashimoto’s at this point.

Wordcount: 728 Warnings: mention of blood test

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You know as soon as you open your eyes that something is off. 

Luke’s already up, probably making breakfast downstairs as he is accustomed to do. You sit up slowly, rubbing your face as you sleepily reach for the blister packaging and pop out one small pill. You absentmindedly swallow it down with a sip of water and take a minute to stretch. The headache is already there, though. 

Walking downstairs, you smell the food as it’s cooking and Luke is wearing an apron that says ‘kiss the chef’. Obliging, you peck his lips sweetly and say good morning. 

“You ok?” He asks, a frown on his forehead. You cross your arms over your body as you move to sit on the bar chair at your kitchen island. Luke knows you have to wait thirty minutes before you can eat, since the hormone supplement needs time to digest first. The food he’s cooking has been meticulously timed to accommodate it. In the beginning he forgot about it sometimes and many a pancake had to be reheated, always with an apologetic smile, but you know he never meant it badly. Things like these are not in the standard boyfriend manual.

“Just a headache again.” You say, resting your temple against your hand. 

“That’s a full week of headaches now, love.” Luke says, concern edged in his voice. You sigh, because he’s right. Apart from the headaches, you’ve been cranky, fatigued, and kind of bloated. You know what this means.

“I guess I should get some blood tests done.” 

“Can you call your doctor today?” Luke asks, coming to sit beside you. His hand automatically finds yours on the table and gives it a squeeze. 

“Yeah, I’ll call him after breakfast. The sooner he fixes me up, the better.” You take it in stride, all of this. The thyroid disorder, Hashimoto’s thyroiditis to be exact, you’d been diagnosed with 10 years ago had affected your life in a variety of ways and you knew it so well that you rarely worried. It just, well, it just kind of sucked sometimes. A flare up could make you feel depressed, fatigued, bloated and irritable. Luckily you don’t have those too often.

“He’ll probably just up my dosage and tell me to take it easy, but as soon as I have it I’ll be okay again.” You say, taking a sip of water. You got hungry at the smell of the food and the half hour always lasts a little longer when there’s good food waiting for you.

Breakfast that day feels like a reward.

After some calls, a visit to the nurse and a few days, you see your endocrinologist who tells you that your hormone levels are on the low side and he’s prescribing you a higher dosage, just as you’d expected he would.

“Is there any chance you might be pregnant?” He inquires, knowing pregnancy is a very delicate matter. You just had your period a few days ago so you can safely say you aren’t, but it’s in the back of your mind every time there’s a pregnancy scare. Or not so much a scare, now that you’re with Luke, but more in terms of what Hashimoto’s could mean for you and your not-yet-existent baby. You leave the office with a prescription and just slightly less weight on your shoulders.

A few days later, your body feels more like normal again, whatever normal even means. When Luke wakes you up with a kiss on your nose, you smile lazily up at him and bring your head up to kiss him properly.

“Good day?” He asks, but the sight of his relaxed features tells you he already knows the answer.

“Very good day.” You reply, sitting up and automatically reaching for the supplement. You take it and consider the fact that this small supplement is the difference between life and death for you. And if taking it is what it takes to be alive, then it’s a small price to pay.

Luke sweeps you off your feet once you’re done and carries you all the way to the living room, burying your face and neck in kisses. You’re giddy with love as you kiss him back and start planning the rest of your day.