#directgov

SolarWorld apparently place a job advert for "Pirate" on directgov.

Full thing:

Job description: To sail the seven seas, fighting mainly but not exclusively the Spanish and French.  This varied and exciting roll includes a free sword and parrot, the opportunity to travel, a tax free income and free rum. Working with a highly committed team, the right candidate could become 1st mate very quickly. Additional benefits such as own ship and crew may be possible after probationary period

You will need: the ability to go “arrgggghhhhh” a lot and continue to function if your right leg is replaced with a wooden stick, along with a positive mental attitude the right candidate must be able to carry out duties such as keel hauling and planking walking, demonstrate a full knowledge of the 1st 5 verses of “what shall we do with the drunken sailor”. We are particularly interested in hearing from people who have replaced their hand with a hook or are missing an eye.

Remuneration: the role of Pirate meets or exceeds the UK minimum wage. Will be paid monthly in doubloons “Pirates 4 U” is an equal opportunities employer. Time wasters need not apply as we are only interested in talking to serious pirates.

The vetting system on the Universal Jobmatch site allows jobs like these to be on the system. If you do not apply for them you may be sanctioned or have your benefits cut. But hey at least they have the ' Not in my desired industry' option on the reasons why you didn't apply for the job. Here are some offerings on the Universal Jobmatch website. These are genuine and have been found by users on Twitter. 

[A Party agent posting asks people to sell adult goods such as toys and whips, and the other is a ' home internet presenters' position posted by an adult sex chat service known as Loaded TV asking for webcam models at home.]

But it doesn't end there. One scam company is posting out lots of jobs posing as different companies and people to invite you into a world of commission based work from home employment which is in short, not very good.

Job Seekers U.K first heard of this on Twitter and after a little searching we found out about a company called 'Kleeneze' who use the Universal Jobmatch site to advertise for 'employees.' They pose as other companies such as 'Infocus Group' for example,  or the infamous  'company confidential' and  their existing distributors  do this.

Out of 4 distributors for Kleeneze  they posted over 2000 vacancies on the website. They have also been known to pass on your details to mailing lists.

We then stumbled upon this blog post about them with a rather interesting comments section.

Other comments on the article read: 

"I have heard its getting harder and harder to recruit people to Kleeneze and as soon as you mention the name and putting catalogues out,they are off. Tactic,s like not mentioning the name on website capture pages,or saying your recruiting for Findel are not having much success." 

"The greater your success with Kleeneze...the greater your lack of good character and respect for others ! Why ? Virtually no one earns a REGULAR

income of even £50 per week(after costs) from catalogues.Yes,there are exceptions..one or two agents have "sales" of £1000/week for a monstrous amount of work but after all the costs,this will only amount to about £150 profit..much less if they are trying to recruit.(£3 per hour before tax !!). This is why your sponsor will suggest...put out 100 catalogues/week and teach others to do the same.Nobody earns individually but if you recruit many agents, you get an overall % cut.This is the legendary big picture.So...if you multiply individual failure enough times,you get some success.Trouble is people naturally don't like the first step(work for nothing) and don't feel like recommending it to their mum and their mates...the warm list.This is recommended by your sponsor as it's easier to scam your family/friends than strangers...nice eh ? The reality of Kleeneze is a constant turnover of agents all the time.If you are hard-nosed and ruthless enough to persist in selling this phoney story,you will have a "team" which is constantly changing...i.e. A CYCLE OF DISAPPOINTMENT AND LOSS for hundreds of good folk,many of whom cannot afford to lose hundreds of pounds on the scheme.If you've ever been to a meeting,you can sense the insincerity,the bluff,the manipulation.Big smiles,big cars and big cheques....but not for you (if you're a nice person)"

Directgov

FML.