#dipper1

Kenny had noticed her during the first week he started at Gusteau’s — the gorgeous blonde who was totally out of his league. He could only assume she was rich, because most customers at this restaurant were, not to mention she gave off that vibe just from a first glance. Kenny didn’t particularly struggle when it came to flirting, but he'd never tried to shoot his shot with anyone super wealthy before. At the end of the day, he still saw himself as the poor kid from Colorado, just like he always was. He could practically hear his friends voices from back home in his head: “Dude, she’d never go for a poor son of a bitch like you. Don’t even get your hopes up.” Even if he wanted to though, the chance never arose to talk to her; he was still training at his new job, and he knew better than to screw up when he needed the money for his new place. 

Lucky for him, she returned just a few months later. He’d almost forgotten about her, but Kenny recognized her immediately. The only downside was this time, rather than being there with what he assumed to be her parents, she was there with another guy. Shit, did she have a boyfriend? Kenny had to clean the table beside where the two were seated, and he couldn’t help but overhear the conversation between them.

“Pacifica, I’m not gonna pretend to be your boyfriend, even if you paid me. Your parents would never believe it if we tried,” Dipper responded to Pacifica without hesitation. If the twin had known this was why the blonde brought him to Gusteau’s, he probably would’ve saved her the trip and texted her a simple no instead. He was smart enough to think through this clearly, but perhaps Pacifica was desperate enough to not think clearly enough. 

Dipper didn’t notice Kenny cleaning the table beside them, who was still listening. Kenny perked up as he heard something about a pretend boyfriend. So they weren’t together, but she was proposing a fake dating scenario. And offering the guy money for it. Kenny couldn’t help but turn his head toward them in interest, waiting for the perfect opportunity to chime in as if he’d been part of the conversation all along. 

“I could pretend to be your boyfriend,” Kenny offered, causing Dipper to instantly turn toward the guy in pure confusion. He’d never seen this guy before, taking in his appearance and noticing the smudges and stains on his work uniform from cleaning tables. There was no way Pacifica would listen to this guy, right?

There was probably a time Priya would have rolled her eyes and written off the attempt at educating her on supernatural creatures as mansplaining—of course a man doesn’t get her vision when it came to her fantasy novel directed at young women—but in this case, she knew it wasn’t like that. Dipper had actually given her book a fair shake, and his criticisms were leveled based on actual experience he had with cryptids and otherworldly phenomena. Not only did she have much to learn from him that could make her next work better, she was really intrigued to hear what he had to share. “I’m so down,” she agreed. “Where do we start?”

She’d always been fascinated by the preternatural, but her only firsthand knowledge came from her friendship with Mei, a shapeshifter. Her take on werewolves was more inspired by her friend’s red panda transformations than the legends she knew about werewolves, which she’d thought was an original, inspired and fresh take on the genre, but if Dipper had any accounts of real werewolves, that would be a good jumping off point.

「👽」 Eventually, the wolf beasts left him alone... and alive actually! But not without a few scrapes and bruises... Seemed his usual luck didn’t stay behind and back home unfortunately. Heck, this was drawing major flashbacks to the bologna incident... Frustrated, sore, and generally tired, Dib made his way away from the attack site before coming across another paranormal enthusiast. And his reaction to the state he was in wasn’t the least bit surprising. In response, Dib only asked...

「👽」 “D’you know where the nearest hospital or something is?”