#diotxt

Knees to your chest, you curled up in the corner of your kitchen, pulling your treasured hoodie tightly around your form. Your own breath was thunderous in your ears, and between gasps you tried to steady it, tried desperately to calm yourself.

I’m just a worthless monster. You know your mother thought as much, and that’s why she makes you feel like this. No one would ever willingly touch something so detestable.

Your thoughts plagued you, playing games in backlit green, enticing neon mimicking the dive of a paddle to shoot your argument back and forth. You must’ve missed your swing.

That’s why you live alone, and you know it. Every attempt you make to reach out just ends up in you hurting other people because you hurt yourself. You were born this way and it’s all you’ll ever know. Because you really are a monster.

Your lungs twisted in knots, expanding out of tune with the rhythm of a clear conscience. Your nails tried to carve crescent moons through the thick red cotton, but all they would leave would be little pink bruises, gone by the time you had recovered from your little tantrum in the morning.

“I just...want someone who won’t hurt.” You rasped out loud, feeling your vocal cords strain. “I just...I just wish someone else would understand what this is like.”

You swore, burying your face in your crossed arms. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, and when you squeezed them shut, a searing sensation tore its way through your skull. Your body shuddered, and a groan fell from your trembling lips in response to the pain. For a stress headache, this was certainly intense.

You shuffled onto your feet slowly, grabbing drawers and countertops with a wince as you reached across the sleek, matte surface for the bottle of pills you knew was there. A small glass of water washed them down, and you tucked your fingers behind your ear, mussing with the black tangles that lie beyond your temple. As you felt along the curve of your skull, your palm brushed something soft, and you paused, cautiously feeling up higher along the warm velveteen that lie atop your head. By the time that the sound of a tin can crashing to the floor caught your attention, your pupils were already blown wide, thoughts swirling far from the little crisis you were so entrenched in just moments ago.

On your feet, which now also suddenly felt so foreign to your usual experience, you spun. And then promptly lost balance, falling backwards onto your rear end. What exactly you’d tripped over, you had no time to consider, as a hulking beast, a blur of red and black, towered over you. The thing moved slowly, as if gaining its bearings, and the shock in your head finally processed and cleared enough for you to make out the features of a face, a masculine jaw, a sharp nose.

“What kind of freak-of-nature pipsqueak are you…” His...it was a he, wasn’t it? His voice was low, an unwaveringly calm rumbling in the depths of the gigantic chest that swayed with his movements. “To manage the summoning of a killer like me?”

He surged forward, but without speed, bearing down upon you with a frighteningly serene demeanor. You noticed the gleam of red veins cracking along his segmented tail as it came to pin you in against the cupboard, and as you came to comprehend its ownership, you caught sight of the clawed toes standing before you, and the backwards-bend of his legs as he leaned in close, crouching at your height. Nails, pointed like slim daggers, closed around the circumference of your throat, and your chin hovered just above the ridges of his gloves. In your natural instinct to get away, you pressed your back to the wood, feeling your spine twist unnaturally from the push and pull of something new at its base.

You should have screamed. An ear-piercing, glass-shattering shriek is what you expected, but all that came forth was a tiny squeak. Your new tail squished between your body and the floorboard, and your new ears pinned back against your head, of such a length that the tufted tips visibly trembled. The man, or monster, rather, looked you over with what you could guess was partly curiosity, and partly disgust. But he deigned to continue his speech, looking you dead in the eyes with a brilliant red.

“Are you to be my Master?”

Your expression morphed quickly to one of confusion, and finally, your limbs moved, though in such a position, you were limited at best. You grasped at his wrist, learning for the first time the sensation of your own paw pads, your own claws, against the sturdy material of his gauntlet. Though your head was tilted up, you could get a clear view of his face, blue bangs sweeping down only on one side. Underneath those, you could make out the corners of a celtic-styled spiral beneath his piercing eyes, and its mirror image that decorated the opposing side.

“M...Master?” You stuttered out in confusion, beginning to scrabble at the iron grip keeping you in place. His shoulders seemed to sink at your response, and after a long moment, he began to retract, returning to his standing posture, slightly off-kilter from the animal-like stature his form took.

“You’re a Magus, right? Someone who performed a summoning ritual, hoping to have a wish granted?” He clicked his tongue, seeming more and more irritated as his questions carried on. A moment’s pause was given to see just how you would respond, but you said nothing, simply staring and trying to make sense of what was said to you. “Shit, some Master I ended up with…”

“H...Hold on a second. I...sorry, but, you just suddenly showed up in my kitchen, and...I…” Your paws raked over your ears, pulling and tugging anxiously. The other had begun to lose his interest and turned just as you whimpered out loud, an involuntary response that accompanied the doubling over of your body as you clutched your shoulder, squeezing it tightly. Black nails clicked on the linoleum as the hulking weight leaned down and brushed away your paw, replacing it with his own firm grip. The image of a canine, jaw split wide open, was marked in red on the skin of your shoulder.

“It’s your command seal. You get three uses out of it, for the Grail War. Were you thinking about asking to look like a regular human? I can’t imagine you’re getting anywhere looking like that.”

You stood and shook your arm from the other’s grip. His cold tone had torn you from your daze, and without a word, you brushed past the man’s black-clad side, turning the corner in the next room. Coming to stand in front of your mirror, you saw your reflection staring back, and you said nothing as you twitched your ears and tail. From behind, your new housemate followed, and you opened your mouth only after some time.

“This is…no. This is my burden to bear. It’s the universe’s rightful to curse me for being such a monster.” Your shoulders slumped, and your eyelids came to a half rest, dark circles looking ever so clearer in the absence of light as you recalled the small crisis you were having before the world around you began turning upside down. Your guest looked down at you, taking in your words with renewed attention. Something interesting had been said. You turned not long after, though, resetting your posture with open gestures.

“I-- I apologize, that’s neither here or there.” You rubbed at the back of your neck, sheepishly trying to cover yourself. “Do you, um. Do you have a name?”

“Cu Chulainn. Though...you shouldn’t refer to me as that around company. Calling me ‘Berserker’ is enough.”

“Cu Huu...Er-- Chulainn. I...suppose that means you’re sticking around? I’ll only use it around you, I promise. I’ve been there before, I get it.”

Cu nodded, corners of his mouth shifting just slightly in amusement. It was something to ask about later, perhaps.

“By contract, I’ll stay at your side until you release me. But sticking around here is a waste of time. I can feel something’s about to start, but it sure as hell ain’t around here.”

You tilted your head, not fully understanding, but not wanting to push your luck, either. “Do you know where it is that we need to go?”

Cu’s brows furrowed, and he seemed to focus in on something for a moment. He turned his head first, and then followed with his steps, turning just slightly and lazily lifting a single claw to point toward the back of the house.

“It’s that way. But by a lot. Multiple towns’ worth. Probably more.”

You sighed in exasperation, pinching the bridge of your nose. You considered your options carefully, combing your fingers through your hair again and feeling the pointed ears that now remained. Finally, you got a good look at the Servant standing in your kitchen, trailing your gaze over the intricate tattoos that decorated his chest.

You crossed the threshold of your floor to your laptop and sat. Cu’s form disappeared from the air as he dismissed himself, much to your surprise, but it merely slowed, rather than dissuading entirely, the purchase of a train ticket. You began to pack your things in a single backpack, stowing away spare change and a couple of knives, as well as a large blanket. You pulled off your hoodie and folded it, placing it on top of the bag. It was far too late at night to leave for the train station, but the preparations made seemed to silence any complaints your companion would have made.

Finally settling into bed for the night, you spoke out loud to the air.

“Cu...I still have some questions about all of this.”

Your Servant appeared before you at your bedside, looking down at how you sat, perched on the edge of your mattress. You were so awfully small in comparison to him, paling in the wake of his intimidating stature.