Here are some song lyrics I will never hear the same after my best friend killed herself when we were 13 and why. (Just because I can)
How To Save A Life: this one feels pretty obvious. But I remember it vividly, the night she did it she asked if we could call. I told her no simply because I didnāt want to and I couldāve. If Iād have known, Iād have stayed up with her all night. but I didnāt know how to save a life.
Silver Springs: this one is more on a personal scale. She loved Fleetwood Mac, and silver springs was always her favourite. This lyric specifically I remember us shouting at midnight during sleepovers. And now sheās dead - ātime cast a spell on [her]ā
Chasing Cars: the appeal here is once again that I really think I couldāve saved her that night. We couldāve lay on call and forgot the world. The guilt that wracks my bones because I wasnāt there when she needed me will haunt me forever. And now she will never get too old.
You Found Me: I mean, for me really itās the āwhere were youā, because she isnāt here anymore, and I remember our first ever meeting, I was the new kid in a scary school, and immediately she took me in and welcomed me - she found me. And I was there just a little late.
The Scientist: Nobody has ever said it would be easy losing someone. Itās so fucking hard. I still canāt wrap my head around the fact sheās gone most days. Nobody said it was easy, but I promise you to tops of the heavens and the bottom of hell, nobody ever tells you it will be this hard. It is vile, it is disgusting, the sadness that holds me captive will never, ever quite go away.
All I Want: feels the most self-explanatory, is there much depth I need to go into? I really, truly, just want to see her face once more. In person. Not through memories, not through photos, I want to hold her - need to hold her, one last time.
Fourth Of July: this entire song has to be one of the most devastating, gut wrenching songs ever written, clearly about losing someone to the dead, but if I could say anything to bring her back, I would. The whole ācould I be the sky on the Fourth of Julyā really shows the closest you could ever get to them.
Atlantis: also pretty self explanatory, fucks with me a lot. If I knew I could see her again I would. And yet, that night, I told her to leave me alone. I felt so guilty after her death I deleted the texts. I canāt take back what I said. She needed me. And I wasnāt there.
Iris: if you know the film city of angels, I donāt have to explain it. An angel cuts off his wings because he falls in love with a living girl - an irreversible act. And after one meeting, she dies. He will never see her again. He gave up forever to touch her - I would give up forever to touch Charley.
