Hi mom. I’m still head over heels in love with my ex. We’ve been apart for over a year with low to no contacts for 5 or 6 months. I still love them more than ever, and they’ve told me they love me too, but that we’re too far apart and a small maybe that we’d have a chance to way in the future. How can I a) show that I’ve changed and I’m not the same kind of person that caused them pain and left them or b) get over them and let us both live happy lives? How can I be happy without them?
If there’s apologies to be given, do that first and start with b. If someday you get back together, that’s then. If it happens it happens, but I don’t think it’s a helpful focus.
You have mourned, and that’s okay. It’s okay to still be in love, it’s okay to feel regret, it’s okay to wish for something more ideal. But it’s also important to keep going. Focus on something else that you want. A job, a skill, a hobby, a vacation. Something that will help you to keep growing and changing and becoming you want to be. To give future you a chance at anything, you should treat current you with kindness. You don’t have to stop loving anyone. You just have to take another step forward. The pain will fade, I promise. Let yourself go at the pace you need. Okay?
-Eliford
