#dinhwriting

My manifesto project, in short, focused on finding happiness in the present moment instead of investing happiness in some future pursuit. This relates to what Michael Acton Smith, cofounder of the book Calm says, “you’re always on fretting about missed opportunities and stressing about the future.”

I narrowed my topic down to understanding why future pursuits eventually lead people to stress. The reason being, I believe, is time. When we are in our daily routines, time seems to fly by so fast. Between work, school, meetings, social engagements, and everything that normal life entails, we are encouraged to keep forging forward in a sick rat race. We watch the clock, keep our phones glue to our face, constantly aware of the loss of time. This obsession about progress instills in us a fear of failure, of moving backwards in time. Or of not moving at all.

The question becomes, how can we practice a skill in which we can focus in the present moment instead of the fear of what will come next in our lives? To do that, we need to dial down from everything occurring around us, within our mind, and understand ourselves. When we are mindful and in the present moment, we understand what it means to be suspended in eternity.

Meditation is one form of mindfulness. There are other daily activities you can do such as interacting with nature, chewing your food slowly, writing down your thoughts, cooking a meal from scratch, doodling, or traveling, it doesn’t have to be far from where you live.

Growing up, it’s definitely okay to have multiple relationships because you seek new things about yourself in each. All of your bad attitudes, favorite hobbies and things you don’t like. Heart breaks helps you discover what you desire in a partner, and what you can improve on. How can you learn if you don’t experience enough? Breakups can hurt like a bitch. For both male and female, losing your significant other can feel like the end of the world. Cliche as it may sound, but it’s just the beginning. I want to share a few tips that may help relieve the pain you are enduring:

1) Do not constantly bore others with your broken heart. Not to sound rude, but some fights are best fought alone. When you are revealing your wounds to someone, it will hurt you more. Inevitably, you continue to let yourself think about the pain. Not everyone has to know your business. They may not fully understand your pain, and the last thing you need is one’s pity.

2) Find hobbies that’ll distract you from thinking about the breakup. Do the things that you love or experience something new. Step out of your comfort zone, and be the definition of change. 

3) Understand your worth. If you are mourning over someone who has done you wrong, let that person go. You need to free yourself of the pain in order to grow. You deserve so much better. Do not cling onto that person because if they’ve hurt you once, they can easily do it again. But if you happen to be with him/ her again, ask yourself if they are worth the pain they had once caused, and what if it comes a cycle that you cannot escape?

4) Do not try to rush into another relationship if you are not ready. Old scars develops from old flames. Give it some time to heal wounds. Respect yourself and cherish time spent alone. It’s never lonely unless you make it feel that way. Spending time with family and friends will help distract you from thinking about your broken heart. 

5) Give credit to the ones who try to help you in your most vulnerable time. Don’t push them away because they are the ones who actually want to see you at the top. But also let them know if you desire space. On some days, it’s refreshing to soak in the presence of the ones you need most.

6) Cry. Cry until the ocean inside of you dries up as sand. There is absolutely nothing wrong with crying because it’s a human thing to do. Our emotional state can be overwhelming; we need to let it all out. Don’t be ashamed for feeling the way that you do. 

Love is the strongest force that drives people mad. We love with passion, motivation and feelings indescribable. All of those elements thrive on loving to the fullest. Don’t be afraid to love again due to previous heartbreaks. Absorb all of your knowledge learned, and apply that to future relationships. Every person deserves to love and be loved.

“Will, his own will, and it gives power, which is better than liberty. Know how to will, and you will be free, and will lead,” (160). What Vladimir’s father explains to him is to take charge by retrieving affection, but do not reciprocate or else your freedom and power will be taken away from you.