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I actually made a list of her contractions back in 2015.
And I said I wouldn't make another one cause she had 60 appearances back in 2015 instead of 600.
I lied.
Updated to: January 26nd 2026
Book 1:
1: It's fine.
2: Th--There's a fight or something going on outside.
3: Pardon, but these notes aren't m--
Book 2:
4: Amber, oh my god, you didn't come home last night.
5: I'm not?
6: I'm going to go get some lunch.
7-10: I don't know much about people. ::: I've never been able to understand people. ::: They're fixed in time, letting me learn about them without them changing constantly before my eyes. ::: Good, so I'm not missing anything.
11-13: I hadn't ever really considered how others perceive me before. ::: But that's what's moving.
14: I didn't want to be rude.
15-17: If there's cereal, and cereal is best, why wouldn't I always choose it? ::: So I'm performing a small, harmless act that comforts me, and this makes me the strange one.
18: If it's about your large posterior, I have read that some men are predisposed towards such.
Book 3:
19: There's enough evidence for dinosaurs being related somehow to birds that it is considered scientific fact.
20: What's going on?
21: Yay, we're bonding!
22: I do, but I just thought you didn't believe in evolution.
23-25: They're subject to the same natural processes though. ::: I don't think you know how evolution works. ::: I don't think your textbooks knew how evolution works either.
Book 4:
26: I didn't appreciate the severity of his...assholeitude.
27: Amber's upset because her father was here yesterday and she punched him.
28: Oh, good, they've stopped yelling.
29: Is that why nobody points out that you're you when you wear that cape and run around campus?
30: I'm sorry.
31: We're having a sausage festival.
Book 5:
32: I think I'm finally tired of eating just cereal for every meal.
33: It's hypothesized that some dinosaurs found the extravagant spikes and plumage of the opposite sex particularly arousing.
34: I've yet to experience these inclinations myself, though they do fascinate me in a clinical sense.
35: That was... that's for emphasis.
36: Should I have said, "She wasn't kind to me"?
37-38: They're touching each other on the arm. ::: Maybe it's second.
39: Now that the weekend's over, does that mean she goes back home tonight?
40: You're blocking the only sausage pizza.
41: I think the only way to get "Butthole Dad" to go away is for Joyce to convince him that you aren't here.
42-47: I didn't overhear much. ::: When I said you were my favorite, I'm sorry, but that wasn't true. ::: In short, I won't attempt to court you, and I hope you're okay with being only my second favorite. ::: You mean "You're weird."
48-49: If anyone sees those, the dorm will realize what's up. ::: Sarah, you're the most evil of us.
Book 6:
50: Patreon exclusive!
51: That's a boring answer.
52: You said the smiles weren't coming back.
Book 7:
53: Colloquially this could be considered a "bug" but properly it's an arachnid.
54: Because I find eye contact painfully awkward, it's easy to notice when your eyes do not meet mine in return.
55: Becky, you should have just asked me plainly if that's what you wanted.
Book 8:
56: She's not given up on you.
57: Patreon exclusive!
Book 9:
58: Oh, it's you.
Book 10:
59: I'd slash at you here, or here.
Book 11:
60: This is Cap'n Crunch and Reese's Puffs. (Yes I'm counting "Cap'n" as a contraction, sue me!)
61-63: Becky believes in a more benevolent version of her god who's not specifically bigoted in that way. ::: Yes, it's the most I've ever had in common with a fictional character.
64: Patreon exclusive!
Book 12:
65: For example, I'd try to discover what triggered this rise in body temperature.
66: You said sometimes you say you don't want to talk about things when you actually do want to talk about things.
67-68: We don't have to do this. ::: If we're going to test me for sexual attraction properly... we need to establish a baseline for what sexual attraction is.
69: Didn't you want me to want to see you naked?
70: ...I'll put this down as a maybe.
71: But if you didn't...
Book 13:
72: You're troubled.
Book 14:
73-76: My nose 's stuffy. An' there's too many people in my room. M'hiding.
Book 15:
77: ...How'd we end up in this bank vault?
78: ...Don't make subtext text.
79: I am proving, with a wardrobe alteration, that we shouldn't fear a hypothetical shift in sexual preference.
Book 16:
80: You've said my existence is your proof of a benevolent god.
81: She has made it clear that she would've preferred Joyce to me.
82: It's been... ransacked.
83: But they can't, because I am not... sure I could easily allow it.
Oh hey Dina made contractions two days in a row, and i definitely didn't forgot to update The Contrackerâ„¢ about this until right just now
Nope updated on time. no delay at all
