#dimtraces makes things

(Also since Éowyn’s got a band AU is very much about grappling with the past and the specfici issue I’ve been parsing this week happens at the reunion scene, here’s how I’ve translated Gríma’s relationship with Éomer, Éowyn but especially Théoden. Rohan was one of the most famous rock bands on earth, but in their early career when lead singer Théoden was just a newly widowed single father who had nothing but the band--- he met a drifter called Gríma. And Gríma saw the potential in Rohan and Théoden or maybe he just didn’t have anything left to try himself, but he talked Théoden into making him manager within one drunken night. And threw himself into it, and managed through lies and skill to actually make Rohan a worldwide success. Even later when there was another tragedy in Théoden’s family and he got custody of a pair of teens, his niece and nephew, Gríma managed to make it all work. He even tutored the three kids when they came with on tour. He basically ran Théoden’s life. He also--- secretly, to keep Rohan’s reputation straight--- warmed Théoden’s bed many nights.

Gríma consideed himself the centre of Théoden’s life. The many hardships he took on, unasked, unspoken, the overwork and secrecy and babysitting the brats and not taking a salary just living out of Théoden’s accounts--- well, he was Théoden’s *family*. But Théoden thought they’re colleagues who were lovers once and fell out of it. Not even friends with benefits anymore, since what with all the extra jobs Gríma took on never talked all night like they used to and barely fucked [*]. The strain of this grew and grew, but Gríma had no life outside Théoden and Rohan. Didn’t leave, didn’t talk, just grew bitter, took drugs, got Théodred killed, went to prison for ten years, Théoden died from grief or suicide, and then Gríma gets out, without any support, and seeks out the last of his family at one of Éowyn’s gigs [**].

Anyway, it’s this speechlessness I’ve been thinking about, the doing things unasked to keep favour.

And how much to let that blow up in the course of Éomer and Gríma’s sexual relationship.

Gríma and Éomer have always had an unequal relationship, that’s the point. This is the equivalent of *Shire* Gríma, homeless, brutalized and depressed [***] and begs Éomer for shelter, *seduces* Éomer for shelter, purposely tries to wreck Éomer’s relationship for continued shelter. [****] The convict and the king.

But.

The writing plan is that the first night they see each other, Éomer drags Gríma outside of that gig venue, away from Éowyn’s performance, angry and with ten secret years of obsessive memories breaking, roughs him up and Gríma makes insinuations because he can see Éomer’s worked up and he can use that to his advantage and then Éomer---

Two options. 1) Frottage, feeling up, blow job, pants jizz, etc. Everything that doesn’t cross Gríma’s unspoken hard limits. 2) Fucks him, which Gríma will verbally encourage but doesn’t want (see [***]).

I used to draft for 1) because--- I guess because Gríma and Éomer eventually end up in a relationship that works and also because a lot of the fic is Éomer unlearning sexual shame. But more and more I feel like this is also completely pulling my punches.

2) will give Éomer mental anguish and Gríma a manipulative awful lever. It gets to the heart of the unwilling verbal agreement issue I’m playing with all fic. I don’t want to make Éomer to make no mistakes cause that’s boring. I’m kinda into negotiated acts of sadism (overnegotiated bc they’re sadism and the sadist is a worrywart) going just fine and what’s kind of vanilla sex except outdoors going badly. Éomer’s inadequacy issues bc he watched his uncle fuck this man’s ass and it was great but Éomer did it badly, will he ever measure up, is Gríma comparing their prowess…

So I guess I talked myself into doing it. Okay.

[*] One of the few times they did, Éomer saw them. He’s the only other person who ever knew and it informed both his sexual obsession & sadist fantasies about Gríma, and his later more complicated opinion on Gríma’s downfall and trial.

[**] not so important for this specific issue I’m thinking through except as an echo of theme, there is the difference in how Éowyn and Éomer handle the fallout. Éomer first tries to keep Rohan working and fails, and then he u-turns and attempts a “normal” life with job and girlfriend all the while silently struggling with silence on both the past and, intertwined, a sadist sexuality he feels deeply uncomfortable with and denies unless he remembers Gríma. He also tries to keep Éowyn “safe”, which especially when Éowyn finds her own new path to music and he doesn’t want her in the milieu that their family died in causes them to fight and fall in and out of contact. The specific gig Gríma interrupts, one of many attempts at sibling reconnection, is Éowyn and Merry’s drone doom project of grief and survival.

[***] He leaves jail and prison with many issues incl. an aversion to any kind of anal touch after a history of him thieving and body cavity searches.

The main idea is that Gríma used and embellished an old story about a King fucking a Witch so well from sundown to sunrise without break & thus binding her (heart) so that for all his reign she ensured good harvest. and an old and disused fertility custom based on it. to lie his way into Théoden's court and bed. as the witch, Gríma was also somewhat protected during the whole betrayal scheme since to banish him could have curdled the very earth. in some tales.

Théoden still dies on the Pelennor hills.