#digital memorial

I never knew his name. I only know the hoodie he wore, the pain in his posture, and the silence that met him at the end. Hoodie wasn’t loud. He didn’t cry out. But everything about him—his pacing, his posture, the way he lingered on the edge—was a scream for help.

He was watched. For over two minutes, another person stood just a few feet away, arms crossed, doing nothing. Not even a word. Not a hand on his shoulder. Not a single act of kindness.

And then, Hoodie was gone.

I still think about him often. I think about what his life was like, what struggles and hardships he went through, what prompted him to take matters into his own hands like this. I think about his family and friends, if he had any. If they missed him, if they mourned him. If they knew how deeply he was hurting. I think about how even strangers like me can grieve someone we’ve never met. I think about how many people feel this alone, this invisible. And I think about how all it might have taken was one small moment of human decency to change everything.

Though it’s a bit too late, I want to tell you that you didn’t deserve to suffer alone. That I’m deeply sorry, that I wish someone could’ve taken your pain away, been by your side. I’m sorry that you were repeatedly let down, even in your last moments. You will be deeply missed and never forgotten.

To Hoodie: I’m sorry the world failed you. I saw you. I still do.

A special thank you to everyone who participated in our virtual candlelight vigil for @coolio, hosted right here on Commemorating Coolio!

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image: ThanatoFenestra Prototype

image: Pervasive Monuments deployment in Slovenia

In the paper "Spomenik: Augmenting Memorials in the Woods" David S. Kirk, Stuart Reeves and Abigail Durrant report on their development of a digital addition to a memorial in a remote Slovenian  wood to make it more accessible and enhance the experience of the visitor on site.

They designed a simple interactive site-specific audio-guide for a specific memorial (Jama pod Macesnovo Gorico). Key constraints - no internet connection, just phone network as it was a very remote site - link the physical site to wider communities For the audio guide they used Tropo (cloud API storage for telephone recordings) to generate a phone based audio guide that provides interactive access to narratives about what happened in the woods. Signs at the site mark the memorial area and provide instructions and the telephone number to connect to the recorded content. After the experience visitors can record their own statement which is made available on the memorial's website Participants did not feel the audio guide isolated them, but saw the benefits of the low-tech interaction and the shared an experience although it was perceived as an individual experience.

image: Dorthe Refslund Christensen

At the “Death Online Research Symposium" at the University of Durham yesterday Dorthe Refslund Christensen presented her findings from 6 years of studying commemoration and children's graves with the title "Death across media: comparing practices of grief and commemoration on children's graves and online memorial sites" by Dorthe Refslund Christensen and Kjetil Sandvik.

For their study they observed the changes in children's graves, by taking monthly photos over the course of six years.

They encountered

- Toys that are obviously also played with

- season ornaments (Easter eggs, Christmas decoration, etc.)

- personal objects (e.g. lamented books)

- signs for life transitions (e.g. decoration for the first day at school)

> the dead child is still part of the family and also grows and changes > family "invents" narratives that include the dead child (vacation photos might be added with a comment like "If you had been there you would have...")

They find 3 phases of grief, with the last phase possibly lasting for the entire life of the bereaved parent > grief does not go away but becomes a part of life