I just realized thereâs a fundamental difference in people I do and donât feel comfortable around. It has to do with the way they interpret the world.
The ones I donât feel comfortable around, are usually people older than me, but that is not what I take issue with; itâs their manner of speaking to me. These people will speak their views of world as if itâs final, the only correct way to think They will also attempt to force this view of the world on you, with the complete assurance that you will. If you try to correct them, theyâll respond with almost a threat in their voice if you donât immediately comply and validate that you agree. Their values, the âold valuesâ, are the only ones that are true, and they donât wait to see if you think differently, theyâll state it as if it was a timeless fact and dare you to confront them on it. I will sometimes, carefully, try to point out inaccuracies or research that has proven it wrong - and theyâll fight me on it.
For instance, Iâve had an elderly person complain to me about the âtodayâs youthâ and âhow theyâre ruining everythingâ. The problem was that the children in the park were loud, and sometimes, they would see teenagers late at night in the park, and they assumed these teenagers were doing drugs (canât confirm if this is true). The elderly person got upset, yelled, and insisted it would all be better if some physical violence was thrown at those children. I couldnât listen to that kind of line without interfering, so I pointed out, hey, that would only make the children more likely to become mentally unhealthy, depressed, and learn that the violence is the only rule in life. I also pointed out that even if the teenagers in the park were doing drugs, they cannot be the source of the problem; after all, theyâre not the ones who invented drugs, or circulated it here, or would be easily able to buy them; it was the older generations that created this problem, and gave them to the teenagers. The elderly person pretended not to hear any of it, and stuck to their original opinion, while now seeing me as the enemy. After all, if I didnât conform to their worldview, I was the problem, one of those who need to âget some common senseâ and be âpersuadedâ. Because blaming kids and teenagers on problems created by the older generations, is the only way they can keep seeing themselves and their contribution to the world, in a positive light. The only way to keep control.
The other type of person is the one who doesnât attempt to enforce their worldview on you, instead they try to see where youâre at. Theyâll tell you what they think, add âat least that is how I see itâ, and then ask you âWhatâs your view on this? What do you think?â
Sometimes weâll find pretty soon that our views differ, and weâll agree to disagree and talk about something else. Sometimes, weâll display our information, how we know it, and offer arguments that lead us to believe what we do, sometimes weâll have little anecdotes to tell. Sometimes weâll find out some new information, be encouraged to research it, and come back to revisit the subject in order to decide on a new, more informed standpoint. Sometimes weâll find out weâre completely on the same page, and then be glad to have found out. But we donât assume. We donât see each other and go âyes, this person I donât yet know perfectly, must have the exact stance on every issue in the world, they must have this specific information and subscribe to the same ideas and thoughtsâ, because that is presumptive, rude, and creating impossible expectations.
I wonder if the first kind are people who shared their perception of the world with their entire generation, and then project that idea on the entire world, believing those who disagree can only be blind and stupid? And in that case, assuming someone would disagree, is the same as assumption theyâre lacking in intellect? My generation has vastly different views on everything, I can find people my age who disagree with my every view, and people younger than me who agree with me. I canât assume for anyone that they would adapt my views, but I also canât assume them clueless, because we all form our view based on information we gather thru life, and different people will have different information and experiences at their disposal. So itâs necessary to not assume, to find out where people stand, and then meet them where theyâre at.
