#didacticyear

I survived the rest of my Behavioral and Mental Health rotation (truth be told, I actually ended up quite enjoying it by the time all was said and done), and passed my first EOR with flying colors! It is not lost on me that psych is said to be among the easiest, and my current rotation (emergency med) is among the hardest.

I gave up my apartment for clinical year, moved everything to storage, and sent my doggo to live with my parents in GA. I miss her more than I could have ever imagined (that’s a lie, I knew it’d be bad), and can’t wait to see her at the end of this month. Because I knew my rotations could be virtually anywhere, I felt it financially responsible (I first typed easiest, but had to change- there is nothing easy about living out of a storage unit/your car) to give up my apartment, save on paying double rent, and go wherever my clinical coordinator could send me. I think that’s working out in my favor in terms of experience.

I am currently in very rural Ohio, at an underserved 240 bed private community hospital, where I learning more than I ever thought possible. I am wrapping up week two (I am working this weekend), and I have already sutured multiple times, as well as diagnosed some pretty wild stuff. I love my preceptors (I have about 5 in total), and everyone here is such a family. They are all excellent teachers, and really want me to do well. They also continue to push me out of my comfort zone and force me to learn, which I love.

The hospital puts me up in housing, so I am living with three other medical students, which is great. Since there isn’t much to do around here, I have been studying a lot in my free time and I think that will set me up well for the EOR. I am going through the major systems first (I just reviewed cardio, and wouldn’t you know the next day I was able to catch and diagnose a 3rd degree heart block- as it turns out, STUDYING WORKS!) so I am feeling so motivated that my studying is actually paying off in what I am doing every day.

Next, I need to focus on really learning meds and side effects for all of the major disease states. Some I know a lot of the “main meds,” but not 2nd or 3rd line... and some I am embarrassingly bad at. But now that I am seeing them so often, I think this will help.

The only thing that I find particularly challenging about this rotation is any time we see a subarachnoid hemorrhage (believe it or not, I’ve seen two already). After an autopsy was done on my best friend, it was determined that she’d had an aneurysm and died from a SAH. It helps to know that even if her husband had been home, the likelihood that he might’ve been able to save her before she suffered major permanent brain damage was slim. But there is this part of me that feels like if she had just called me and told me how she was feeling, that she didn’t feel right, and explained her symptoms, we might have been able to save her and Baby Blair. The rational part of me recognizes that this is a ridiculous thought, and that I cannot absorb any blame for something so tragic. However, the part of me that misses my best friend with every fiber of my being can’t help but wonder if I could have done more had I only known.

This post deteriorated rather quickly, and while I would usually apologize for that, I am working on saying ‘thank you,’ instead of ‘sorry.’ So thank you for letting me feel my feels, however irrational they may be, and letting me get it out into the universe.

I am so bummed that this rotation will come to an end at the end of the month. I have a 5-day weekend after my EORs/callback, during which time I am going to drive the 500 miles home to see my dog, get hugs from my parents, and sleep in a bed that is more mine than any bed I have slept in for the last 2 months.

So, I figured it was about time for a positive post in these parts. This week was hell week, and I scored exceptionally well on all of my exams. I went to a birthday party for a few of the second year students last night, and had a wonderful time catching up with my mentor. She shared with me that during Block 3 (aka: the nervous breakdown post below), was her worst, as well. They actually had a student drop out of the program following that block because they decided that they were not going to be able to keep up. There is just something some camaraderie building (yeah, just go with it) as being able to go through all of this together, even when I am a year younger than her.

This block for anatomy seems to be going really well. It’s a different teacher, and things just make sense. I cannot explain how great that feels. As for my other classes, I am actually doing better than I thought I would be. I am not sure if it’s the light at the end of the tunnel, or the fact that I am making this a VERY lazy Saturday, but I am so very optimistic for the next 12 days.

Tomorrow I am going to a fitness expo that has loads of 30 min classes and coupons to free classes! From there, I will probably head to school to study for the day. 

In 12 days, I go to Seattle to meet my nephew, see an old friend in Portland, and then head to the beach with my pup in tow to see my parents for a week. That’s a pretty perfect vacation, if you ask me.

I also dog walk 3-5 days a week, at a place about a 15 minute drive from campus, for two puppies. A friend of mine in my building just offered me her job walking a dog who also lives in our building (6 mins from campus), and while not as frequent (often 2-3 days a week, sometimes none), and less pay- it is for an adult dog and the commute is much better, so I think it will be a good change.