okay, so i finally watched double life from pearl's perspective finally, and... [spoilers]
what everyone says about others pushing the narrative of pearls "insanity" and isolation through rejection and scorn (especially scott, ren, and grian) is so true and was honestly a little hard to watch
but im especially caught up on scott ending his life to his own tnt to give pearl the win and...
some may say scott sacrificing himself to let pearl win might be one of the only meaningful things he could do to redeem his cruelty toward her in the series (the "this is why i'm gay" comment from scott in session 2 or 3 when pearl first comes to his base i found particularly abhorrent and upsetting. what an awful thing to say.)
but i can't help but wonder: did scott only sacrifice himself because he couldn't stand to let pearl win in her own merit? that he wouldn't even give it a try because of the idea that she could beat him (and had just proven that she could beat him with how she took out bdubs/impulse & martyn/cleo just moments prior) that he would rather take control of her narrative AGAIN. that dying by his own hand would be more honorable and tolerable to him than even standing the chance that she could defeat him and claim righteous victory.
idk i know it's not that deep, but i just don't see how scott's motive to give pearl the win would be just "out of the goodness of his heart" and "she deserves it". idk if that is congruent with his character for the season or overall.
scott would rather "give the win to pearl" than have it taken from him. a final moment of agency and imposition over pearl like he's done all season.
it all just makes my blood boil
