Dick headcanons finally!!! Cw: very porny and corny, 18+, pretty detailed descriptions of dicks, implied gay sex (blasphemy) lol, nothing dark, but asshole Rick kinda.
Rick has been holding on to a secret, which isn't really a secret if anything, at the end of the day he's a man. A human, and both those things have powers that dictate their conduct. Carnal desire, need for connection, and jus' the very need to hold on to something, to hold and to squeeze, until wood splinters, capillaries burst and wet sinew rends. So yeah, a secret should suffice it to say, that a few months ago he went on a perfunctory run, jus' to prove to himself because the people around him know better, that he can go get good turnouts, whatever even that is these days. He found a ranch, there was animal feed, and a silo which later turned out was full of maize and somehow not dry rotted, but the real treat? The ranchman's cabin had a fleshlight, horrid color scheme if he's honest hues of pink and bright green, but not neon (relevant to the plot? Absolutely not, but these are my hcs). Yeh, and lube, blood orange, wouldn't be his first choice but horny old men can't be choosers especially when no one wants to have sex with them, casually or otherwise.
He's been contemplating it since, y'know, turning it in because he doesn't need a bloody fleshlight. He likes the feel of warm flesh that gives under his grip, a little cruel maybe he is, he never claimed otherwise. He comes out from the shower with the towel over his shoulder, no need to be bashful no one's home. Pretty cock flushed and malleable framed by a crown of inky curls at the root of his cock. Shane would say his cock was too pretty, porny. Rick didn't get it only having been with three people in his life but he never heard any complaints. He's a hedonist but not vain, thanks very much. The ugly thing is on the bed, again absolutely no shame, Rick looks at it and walks over picking it up. He looks at the hole, pushes a finger inside it's cold but not unpleasant there's give he pushes another digit in, definitely textured. His cock is undecided about it it seems, it's pulsing with interest but is giving no real indication of whether this is a go. "Get over it cowboy, ah need this." He mutters to his cock—what has his life come to, this dry spell goes on any longer and he's gonna march over to his big little prisoner and find out how much of the things he said hold up any weight— lays the towel on the edge of the bed picks up the two pillows and place them on the towel, tugging his cock all the while to get to a full commission, grabs the lube from the chest and pours some in the hole, and warms some in his hand to lather his cock which is tingling after a minute of slow tugs is it the lube? Or maybe the fact that he hasn't gotten laid in about an actual calendar year? Definitely the lube. He wedges the fleshlight between the two pillows, figuring this is the closest he's gonna get to something resembling a real body places one leg behind the pillows, foot on the bed and bears his weight on the pillows. He slides home instantly, he can be honest with himself and admit he's not going to last so he's fine with hard and fast. His cock hits the back wall before he even gets in to the root of the shaft. "Goddamm horse shit!" He curses and pulls back to thrust back in lube squelching out the sides of the horrendous thing, around his cock. He imagines it's Lori for a second, instantly sees her dead face and thinks better of it.
Glenn; he's the poster child for husband dick, it's not ridiculously huge or fat, it's comfortable and doesn't make you want to claw at the sheets, boy does he know how to use it though, like a bee to wildflowers he makes the flowers want to be polinated if you pick up what I'm putting down. (Someone hit me up with a good idea for glenn × whoever, lack of Glenn fics are criminal.) He keeps it trimmed now ever since he was comfy in Alexanderia, ball are naturally bald he likes it that way.
He tries to disconnect then, pounding away like a stupid mutt, he would sooner die than admit it though but it's good. Really good, maybe it's just the lack of something hugging his cock this good but it is just the way it is. He pumps away, the toy squelching obscenely he feels his dick jump and he breaths shakily. His balls draw up tight and he pushes as far in as he can and empties himself in it. He falls down onto the bed face first cock still buried in the toy, load starting to fall out in little globs. "Fuck it," he mutters again and pulls the thing out from between the pillows and starts to go at it again all sense of shame evaporating.
His pubes are ginger, I don't make the rules. He trims regularly because he's self conscious about it, cock is like a hard boiled egg you could almost mistake it for a blank canvas to practice your creativity. Balls sitting close to the base almost as if they're lonely without their tall friend.
