#diaryndeceit

Here's the comment. I've blacked out the username because they've stolen real usernames but post as a guest. That's always a huge bot red-flag:

There's a tremendous irony that I would get this comment on this specific fic. Because the theme of that story is entirely about hope. About finding the things that make it worthwhile to keep going. About the importance of continuing even when things are bleak and improving them seems impossible. That even if you can't change the world or fix the things about it that are broken, you can make smaller differences, and putting effort into doing so can be worth it.

It's also very ironic, with the other language the comment chose to employ, that I got it on the morning that I did. I'm currently engaged in a pre-Christmas tradition my family has called Gingergeddon where I bake dozens of gingerbread men for my niece and nephew to decorate in a flurry of sugar fueled madness. So, very much feeling the holiday spirit, and by no means lonely.

And, while I might be a little bummed that like...no one has left so much as a kudos on that fic so far (it's been up for less than a day and it's part of a series, so not a surprise, but let's be real, to the inner giddy part of me that writes the stories and knows they're awesome, that's still a disappointment), I'm otherwise in pretty high spirits right now.

And a third irony comes in the fact that, as so many folks are waking up and returning to their Sanders Sides eras, I've been returning to D&D and, specifically, my Matt Colville era.

Now, Matt Colville, for those who don't know, is a D&D youtuber. He's also a writer, a game designer, and occasionally an hobbyist music producer. And his channel largely focuses on the art of running tabletop games, but I've found several of his videos broadly applicable to writing and other creative pursuits in general.

(You don't have to watch either of these videos to continue reading this post, but I wanted to share them anyway.)

There are two videos of his that I like to revisit in particular, especially when I am feeling demotivated or discouraged. One of those I was already planning on sharing with the fandom, both because "Leading a Creative Life" is just a very good, very encouraging video for artists of any kind, and because it's extremely interesting when viewed in the context of Roman as a character, because it specifically covers the (positive) role of Ego in the choice to lead a creative life. And it does tie in to the topic of these hate bots, because it deals with what people are actually trying to accomplish when they try to stop you from making the art you want to make.

I might still make another separate post for this video later, with a little more focus on how I feel it relates to Roman. I have a draft of that post already, in fact, it's just not finished yet.

The other video, is called "Art vs Existential Dread". I believe it was recorded during quarantine, so the tone is a lot more dour than Matt's videos tend to be. But it provides an important look at why we make art: both what art is, why we create, and the value of art, not monetarily, not even the finished result of our efforts, but why making it is important.

(It also talks a bit about modular synthesis, which really isn't relevant to the topic...)

But, going back to the comment, I've said it before and I'll say it again:

Imagine deciding to put this kind of energy into the world. Imagine doing that thinking you're doing the world a favor. Imagine plugging a bunch of pre-written comments into a bot and unleashing it with the only intention of crushing artists, snuffing out their motivation, bringing them down. Imagine having one goal, and that goal being to prevent art from being made. Imagine being that small of a person. Imagine taking the limited number of hours that life gives us and using it to do that. Imagine being given the chance to find meaning in your existence and deciding your meaning is being cruel to strangers you've never even met. That your purpose in life is being petty and small minded on purpose.

Imagine, rather than taking the opportunity to make art of your own, you do this. A lot of people think of life as a game where they're out to win or score points, but I think anyone who has reached the point of the people running these bots has to have given up on winning in any meaningful sense if all they want to get out of it is make others not want to play.

I guess I didn't really have a point besides just... Make your art. Even the worst story ever written, the lamest joke ever told, the most amateurish stick figure, the hastiest tiktok, the most half-assed shitpost, has more value than what these people are doing.

Hell. Sitting on a xerox machine and copying your ass has more value than this. At least that might make somebody laugh.

If you're wondering whether you should make something, then unless you have a non-trivial, concrete reason why the answer should be "no" (like if you can't afford it, or if it might put you or someone else in danger) then the answer is almost definitely "yes". Just do it. The worst you might do is fail to finish or to realize your vision. The best you might do is succeed flawlessly—which is statistically unlikely, but that's still no reason not to try. You're likely to wind up somewhere in the middle, but there will still be one more piece of art in the world, almost certainly an imperfect one, maybe even an unfinished one, but that's still a net positive for the world the way I see things.