#diary eps

Its funny to me how heavily impacted i can be by disappointing changes, to the point of mental breakdowns, puffy eyes, and war cries in my head in the most sane environments.

In episode 1 i could for the life of me turn to the end of the road, just because i felt utterly disappointed, jealous and lonely. But then..

I get used to it.

And then i find my way again, and choose the direction with confidence. Ill be taking this loneliness and make it a comfort, ill take this slow year as a year i can build myself up. Ill make sure i will utilise this year to its fullest.

I already met a girl, she was going the same route as me to the train, then i saw her in the station. I was thinking about greeting her but she was with some girls. Then i saw her again in the same train, i had some eye contact, actually a lot. But that i had spent my life, i was tired. So when i was walking down the stairs and she greeted me i was pleasantly surprised that she came up to me. I greeted her back and she misunderstood my fatigue for shyness. I in turn turned my social battery to its fullest and explained about the girls and my day. But the energy matched so much and i will go home with her a lot more i hope. Building up relationships at school is the key to survival. Even though im trying to get a new schedule.

Next up in the row of friends to make, this dude, he is cool. Thats all i really feel, he has a chill and pretty funny vibe. Im glad i met him because of my other friends, and we had spent some time talking together. And became friends.