feeling left out and then i act out and i just cement my place of being unwanted further !

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feeling left out and then i act out and i just cement my place of being unwanted further !

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I can’t believe how depressed I got after what happened last December. I’ve put on a “brave face” and I’ve been smiling through it all but I’m really just barely holding it together. I’m working on it.
Dear Diary,
I don't know what it is I'm doing wrong, but I know that if I just get things back to the way they were when we first got married, Theodore won't be so... Distant. Mom told me I might need to pull out all the extra stops. In every aspect. She told me that sometimes having a baby puts stress on a marriage, especially when it's not working out as quickly as you want it to.
So, I'm having the house cleaned and telling the servants to call it a night, lighting some candles, playing some of Theodore's favorite music, having his favorite meal cooked... If I can find it, I'll try wearing the outfit I wore on our wedding night. I've talked to his whole family, just trying to make sure that no one calls him and interrupts our night tonight.
I think he's going to love it! Otherwise... I really have no clue what else to do.