my closure involves a verbal explicit statement saying “I don’t want to be with you”

Im not the kind of person that drunk calls their ex at 2 am when they miss them

I miss people, I have emotions

But I never go back after my pride has been told no

However I also realized and experienced that I don’t do well with mixed signals, mixed goodbyes

It took me 2 months to get rid of a guy in my head

Why?

He just couldn’t say no

Even went as far as saying yes just to ghost me immediately after

Whats worse? Is that im not stupid

You see the signs and hints when someone doesn’t like you. I saw them, I still tried, and I’m glad I did because life is too silly and short to be scared of making an ass of yourself

I just wish he’d made it clearer you know?

It was as clear as water but in my mind that shit was muddy putrid water that I navigated while signs all around me read “Get out” “Do not swim in polluted waters”

Do I miss him? God no

There never was anything to miss

Right from the beginning I knew that

dejo q me invadas

I stayed up sewing

my bf called

every time I’m on call I get this feeling I should cry

I’m not sure why really

Is God real

Why doesn’t he help me

I don’t pray anymore

I’ve prayed so much I’m hoping it’ll come from that

I can’t breath or I can

my breath is labored though

I’m trying to explain how I’ve been meaning to kill myself this week

or at least for today

or at least for the last few hours

I’m crying n the tears come and come they’re not labored like other times

they’re unstoppable

I don’t think u heard me right

the internet connection doesn’t allow u to

i ate but now I’m extremely hungry

my heart feels weak

I brush everything off

I think I’m mentally ill

I was the kind of little kid who would cry every time their mom dropped them off at school