#dfkt

I just realized the winter carnival episode is next and tbh I'm pretty stoked about that one.

Ugh, someone left Gilmores on my front porch. Fetch me my broom. Shoo! Shoo! At Thanksgiving number one, we find out Lane is spinning yet another tangled web of lies to ensnare Soggy Rygalski (my new pet name for him, don't ask). Mrs Kim thinks Soggy is actually in a Christian band that Lane discovered through church and not a sinful rock band. Mrs Kim serves Tofurky and I feel as if our little vegetarian diner rat would have enjoyed that.

Welcome back, Soggy.

Dang. When Rory sees how people like her mother and Luke and Mrs Kim treat their employees, it's no wonder she doesn't want to get a job! Bad dum tssssh. Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all night.

Why did I remember that scene as being a lot longer than it was? It lasted less than three minutes. Weird!

Onward, from Soggy to Sookie.

"According to the National Fire Protection Association: deep fryer fires cause an average of 5 deaths, 60 injuries and more than $15 million in property damage each year. Deep-frying turkeys has become increasingly popular, but the new tradition is a recipe for holiday tragedy."

Men, eh? One minute they're lying about turkey preparation and the next they're lying about having a vasectomy.

Rory looking gravely concerned or lost in thought as usual. Thinking deep thoughts about frying. Asked Sookie not once but twice "What do you use the oil for"?

Granny creakily rising from her lawn chair to join the hordes of Jackson's screaming white trash relatives has to be one of my favorite bits in this episode (maybe the season?) so far.

Gather round, white trash young and old. Your king has arrived.

THE FACES!

This whole scene is top notch. I tip my hat to you, Miss AmyShermanPalladino. After departing the white trash jubilee, it's time to circle back to Lukes. I know small business owners are hard working people who don't always have the luxury of shutting down and taking a break, but do you think he ever closes the diner? For anything? Christmas Day? Yeah, I'm sure ya'll can name a few times on the show where he closes up shop (would actually be interested to hear what they were). It wouldn't matter. He'd try to close on Christmas Day and the Gilmores would show up anyway and demand to be served instead of drinking eggnog in their own home. For Christmas, Lorelai should buy Luke a massage. (A LEGITIMATE MASSAGE. You filthy readers).

Mommy Daddy please stop fighting

*smashes Jess and Rory together like I'm 9 years old forcing two Barbie dolls to make out*

Alarming to see Lorelai treat Jess this nicely because I worry she may be ill. Or possibly delirious from hunger (she didn't eat at Sookie's or Lane's, she threw out Mrs Kim's tofurky and just gawked at Sookie's house). It looks like Luke was nice enough to give Jess the day off, but Walmart (and its Hunger Games-style Black Friday festivities) may still be calling. Is this the first real, hot, home made, lovingly prepared holiday meal anyone had ever served him in his entire life? (I'll give partial credit to The Bracebridge Dinner). No street wieners for Jess Mariano this Thanksgiving! Jess says he's starving, but Luke told him not to eat until the Gilmores arrived first. That's some grade a bullshit.

All he wants this Thanksgiving is for his fellow white people to Check Their Privilege. Good luck with that, Lucas.

Serving lewks. Luke has just served the table four heaping plates of hot food and upon hearing that the Gilmores will be trotting off to the McMansion next, presumably to eat way fancier, he says they can just throw everything the fuck out and drink soda if they want. Kay... Jess: Please, Uncle Lucas, don't take away my hot meal. I'm ever so hungry.

A screen shot of Milo eating makes a great gift or any holiday or special occasion.

How DARE you Lucas. You are not going to make my poor tired boy serve coffee to the Gilmores on Thanksgiving Day! Lorelai's your ball and chain, you do it.

Yeah, what a pity that not everyone can kiss like Dean.

"You and Jess are a couple of chickens pecking each other." Yooo, it's about time you pick a lane, Lorelai. You're confusing the poor girl. The last time an adult got wind that Jess and Rory were about to peck like chickens The Incredible HulkLuke smashed down the door and put those two chickens out to pasture. Rory: Mind your own business. Lorelai:???????? I assure you she does not know the meaning of the phrase. R: I'm not good with public displays. L: You didn't have that problem with Dean Me: Trying fruitlessly to remember any scene where Dean and Rory passionately made out in public or showed any sort of affection with each other anywhere that Lorelai could see it R: I don't know how this first second boyfriend thing is supposed to go. L: Well he's your first second boyfriend so give it time. R: The whole town got used to me with Dean. L: It'll get easier, you'll have hundreds of men. Well maybe not hundreds. A couple. Three more. Dean again, Logan, then Logan again. L:They'll adjust to seeing with you Jess! R: What do I do about Dean? L: Well he'll move on too. All this sensible advice coming from Lorelai? It is truly the Thanksgiving of Miracles.

God bless you, Babette. God bless you.

I'm kinda obsessed with playing Brand Name I Spy whenever someone visits Doose's. It's kinda fun to play Stars Hollow Anthropologist and figure out how these curious creatures live, what products they subsist on. In this scene I spotted (deep breath) Whiskas Cat Food, Ring Pops,Alpo and Pedigree Dog Food, Barilla Pasta Sauce, Princella Canned Sweet Potatoes, A1 Steak Sauce, Carnation Canned Milk, Sunkist Orange Soda, Dole bananas, Planters cashews ,Lindt chocolate, Dentyne Ice Gum, Uncle Ben's Rice, some kind of Ragu instant meal, Ocean Spray pie filling, Symphony chocolate bars, Vaseline and a variety of lotions (for which Jess is grateful), Band Aids, Stove Top Stuffing, Campbell's Soup, Gatorade, Mylanta, Pepcid, Ponds cream, Advil (both regular and a fruit flavored Children's variety), SO MUCH TYLENOL, Snuggle Detergent, Bounce Fabric Softener, Q Tips, Bactine, Neosporin, Quilted Northern wet wipes, Chapstick, 2 ginormous boxes of Kraft Instant Mac & Cheese, a WHOLE LOT of First Response pregnancy tests and ovulation kits (every one of these brands is still in existence 22 years later, btw) Aaaand last but not least: Kirk, A grown ass woman with a sick obsession over her daughter's teenage ex boyfriend, and a doofwad wearing a green apron.

The way those pregnancy tests are so fucking prominent in the background is sending me into orbit. Who is even getting laid in The Hollow besides Babette/Morey and Miss Patty, and they're past menopause. Things Doose's Market does not sell: Condoms Things Doose's Market does sell: Cigarettes (there's a "We Card" placard on the register)

The WB network was truly the place to be for product placement in the early 2000s.

SHE'S GOIN IN FOR THE KILL! da dum da dum da dum dadumdumdumdumdum

The two of them making eye contact across the market. PLEASE!

Dean: OH SHIT. SHE'S HERE. GO LIMP, FORRESTER.

The way she looks at him! I ship them so hard! I also ship Dean's face with the business end of a speeding train!

What kind of slave driver is Taylor Doose for making Dean work on Thanksgiving? Please make him work every holiday, Taylor. His family won't miss him. (I know that here in the US quite a lot of supermarkets stay open on Thanksgiving, at least for a half day anyway, but like, why isn't Taylor working? He's probably taking a Thanksgiving holiday in Hawaii with the money he's embezzled from all the town fundraisers. Broken bridge my ass). Dean says he's getting paid time and a half for working the holiday, so I will not be calling the Connecticut Board of Labor on Taylor. Luke, meanwhile,continues to pay his nephew in acorns. For what the DALA is worth, it really leans creepily one sided. Lorelai's always coming onto Dean with Dean looking bewildered with the milf seduction. Well, maybe not in this scene from season 4, he was pretty into it by then.

Puke.

Lorelai: I'll give you time and half. in my bed.

L: Dean, Wait... D, slowly turning around clutching packs of Dentyne gum: Yeah? L: I...LOVE YOU. Nah just kidding. We know it actually gets a helluva lot weirder than that.

The look on Doofwad's face says even he knows you're full on delulu. She makes a speech to Dean about how when you live in a small town you shouldn't shit where you eat, metaphorically speaking. I mean, after all the times she's had to scramble to find alternate dining establishments because she had a spat with Luke, she should know. Lorelai wants Dean to know that she's done hiding from him. Uhh...

Dean just got the memo that he was avoiding Lorelai.

For as long as I live I will never let you live this line down, Lorelai Gilmore. Salty Gilmore's Gravestone will read: Here Lies SaltyGilmores March 24th, 2022-???? She Recalled That In The Thanksgiving Episode Lorelai Gilmore Told Dean Forrester That They Weren't Broken Up Yet

Dean: Okay, whatever you say, DeLuLu Lady.

Get yourself a partner who looks at you the way Lorelai Gilmore looks at the local teenage bagboy.

It's 6:30am on the 4th of July. It feels like as a good a time as any to write about a Thanksgiving episode. I am quite fond of this episode, it's one of my favorites. It includes a historical first: which is Lorelai being kinda nice to Jess? Hooray! It's a Thanksgiving miracle! But off to the house fire with him again for Black Friday. I cannot, however, even in the spirit of Julyskiving, be nice to Lorelai when describing this episode. This is, after all, the "Just because you and Rory broke up doesn't mean we did" episode. Would you mind taking a Niceness Raincheck, Lorelai? I doubt it will be useful in s3. For the time being, just accept all of the comedic verbal beatdowns that you have coming from me. On with Julyskiving.

Jess can sympathize with Pete. But he's beating his meat instead of eggs. This one is a bit borderline, but it qualifies for a check on the "thinly veiled sexual reference" square on my Bingo Card. I cannot take my eyes off this mug Michel is holding and "sipping" from because it's the emptiest Empty Mug I've seen so far on this show. I've seen some empty cups on this show but dang, this one is empty.

Me looking for love in all the wrong places.

Heh heh. We learn that Lorelai has faked illness and poor cellphone reception (that's not terribly hard in 2002, the year of our lord) to try and weasel out of the last two FND's. Why, you ask? Because she's still hopping mad at Emily and Richard for...taking Rory on a trip to look at a school that wasn't Harvard. Emily Gilmore, the Queen that she is, lays down that in no uncertain terms that Lorelai will have to spend Thanksgiving doing FND. Emily won’t allow Lorelai get in a word in edgewise, complain, or protest 🫡 so Lorelai lays down like a dog and submits. I love to see it.

*checks off "Millennial Pop Culture Reference" on the Bingo Card* Have I mentioned how much I love the 35 year old extras playing high school students?

Not anymore he ain't. Just ride it out for another 3 short years. girl. Reese will be history by 2006. He never married again, either. "Is it me, or did everything the teacher say sound dirty? I mean come on, reticulum? The golgi body? Does that sound majorly pornographic or what?" Heh heh. Yeah. I'm scandalized by the use of the word "pornographic" on this wholesome show. We learn that Louise's father is in prison for an unspecified crime. I love Madelyn & Louise lore, don't you? Paris wanted to volunteer at a soup kitchen to pad her Ivy League resume but no one would take her. She will be ever so lonely on Thanksgiving and needs a place to spend the holiday. *bats eyelashes at Rory* Madelyn plans to spend Thanksgiving filling out applications for safety schools. Paris agres that is incredbly important to weigh as many options as possible when applying to colleges. Rory, meanwhile , remembers that just a short while ago, her Mommy had a nuclear meltdown in public and shut her grandparents out for weeks over the mere idea of her even looking at or thinking about a backup school. Much like the time she realized she forgot to enroll in extra cirricular activities, this is someone who is quietly contemplating just how badly she's boned. Academically speaking.

Paris receives a return call on her ancient cellphone from a soup kitchen, with whom she tries to wrangle a volunteer opportunity. This is how Rory looks at Paris angrily ranting at a charitable organization:

Paris may not be able to pad her college application by helping the needy this year, but she will always be a volunteer in the soup kitchen of Rory's heart.

OMG. Could it be? Is that...the window concession stand from s1?

IT IS! IT IS! I love that little guy! I thought the fragile small town economy had swallowed up another beloved business! You ladies are just gonna walk past and not pick me up a fiesta burger and onion rings, huh? Besides snubbing a small business that has to compete with Luke's and could really use the help, ahem, Rory and Lorelai's Thanksgiving itinerary includes dinner at the elder gilmores, Sookie's, Lane's, and Luke's. They then decide to cut Luke from their schedule, because ol Grumpy Gus doesn't care about holidays and he won't miss them.

And so what if he did? Peace and harmony will be achieved when the people of The Hollow are free and able to be their true and authentic sexual selves.

None of which they'll pay for.

"Such a food rut we're in!" Concession Stand Guy would like a word.

Ya'll are just filthy. You're making jokes about stuffing each other a day before this wholesome holiday. Continue. Please. Lorelai informs Luke that they can't make it for Thanksgiving tomorrow. He seems quietly shattered. *Mr Lonely plays*

Perhaps you can un-disappoint him by paying for your food. So moved were the Gilmore GIrls by Luke's rare, almost visible display of emotion, that they decide they can work him into their schedule after all.

Batten down the hatches, guy. The Gilmores are coming. To your restaurant. Just like they do every day. Multiple times a day. Sometimes after you've already closed. Always eating, never paying.