#dfbfrauen

"Breathe! You can do this." Giuli said to me as I was walking towards the penalty mark.

If I scored, we would be through to the semi finals.

If not....well I guess we would have to do another round of penalty shootouts.

I move the ball to the correct position and then walk a few steps backwards.

After I hear the referee blew her whistle I take a deep breath, trying to push away all the thoughts in my head.

This is soccer.

This is what I am best at.

Without thinking about it more, I start running towards the ball.

And I kick it.

Directly into the net, through the open arms of the Canadian goalkeeper.

I hear my teammates shouting and a scream escapes my mouth while I jump around like a crazy one.

The first one to catch up on me is Feli, she hugs me so tight that we almost fall to the ground, but Anne is there to catch us.

"YESSSSSS" I hear Syd screaming as her arms also wrap around me and it quickly turns into a big group hug.

They scream and hug each other and I see Syd and Laura chasing each other around with the water bottles someone gave them.

Feli still holds onto me, her arms wrapped around me so tightly that I can barely breath, and even though we are both sweaty and my legs feel like they where made out of cement the only thing I care about is the words she says.

There so quiet that only I am able to understand it, but I do.

"I love you so fucking much."

I pull back to look at her and see the big smile that covers her face.

"I love you too." I say and it takes all my strength to not kiss her, right there, right now.

Luckily Sara and Merle come to bring us some water and so we just keep smiling at each other.

"SEMI FINALS! SEMI FINALS! SEMI FINALS!" Bibi and Laura scream as we enter the locker room.

"WHUUUUU" I answer and they laugh.

We celebrate that win a little more but we can fell how tiered everyone is so we quickly take a shower and then go to the bus to head back to our hotel.

Feli shoots me a smile before going into her room with Sara and then sends me a goodnight text.

We're not out to the team yet and so we also have other roommates.

---

As I wake up in the morning the sun isn't up yet and so Syd is also still asleep.

I grab my phone from the little nightstand and see a massage from Feli asking if I wanted to come over since Sara got up early and went to the gym.

As quietly as possible I get up, put on some shoes and then leave the room, trying not to wake Syd up.

Feli and Saras room isn't far from mine and after my second knock she already opens the door.

"Hey beautiful, any reason your up this early?" she flirts, leaning against the door frame.

"This cute girl asked me to come over but I think she's already gone." I tease, looking past her into the room and then stepping back.

"Whoa." Feli quickly grabs my hand, pulling me back. "You think my roommate is cute?"

"You are cute." I say and she laughs.

"Come on inside before anyone ears us." I follow her inside and then jump onto her bed.

Feli laughs at me but quickly lays down next to me, wrapping her arms around me.

"Feli?" I ask and look up into her beautiful brown eyes.

"Yes?"

"Do you really love me?"

Something in the way she looks at me, in this moment, the way the look in her eyes softens, makes me fall in love even more.

"I never felt so much love like I do for you." she whispers and then softly kisses me.

"I love you more." I answer and then let my head rest on her shoulder.

She softly starts running her fingers through my hair and I almost fall back asleep but a sudden loud noise that comes from the hallway, gets me awake again.

"I dont know where she is Syd." I hear someone saying and look over at the door.

"She also isn't downstairs at breakfast." I hear another voice, I would say it's Giuli.

Then I hear a door opening and foot steps.

"What's going on?" Thats defiantly Laura.

"We can't find Y/N." this time it is Syd.

"What about Y/N?" I hear Leas voice.

"What are they doing? A team meeting?" I whisper to Feli and she tries to hold back her laughter, while Syd repeats her sentence from before.

"We should ask Feli, they are usually together." Lea suggests and before I even realize what that means, the door opens.

"Shit." I say and fell Feli pulling me tighter against her body.

"Feli have you.....whoa!" Sara says, stopping in the doorway so Syd bumps against her.

"What...OH MY GOOD!" Syd screams, jumping back and with that the other people in the hallway get to see us too.

"You two..." she adds, looking from Feli to me and back to Feli.

"...where trying out if these Anti-Intimacy beds actually work?" Laura finishes her sentence.

Feli grabs the pillow from behind us and throws it at her.

"Chill buddy, we understand that you both have needs but dont you know how to lock the door?" Sara asks.

"It's not like that." Feli says and sits up, my hand in hers.

"You sure?" Laura asks, grinning at us.

"Yes."

"You two are in love?" Anne says, she is overlooking the rest of the group and her eyes are fixed on our entangled hands.

Feli looks at me and in her eyes I see that she is asking for my permission to tell them about us.

"We are." she smiles.

"OH MY GOOD." Syd screams again and before anyone can react she jumps on top of us.

"MY BESTIE IS IN LOVE." she shouts and pulls me into a hug.

I can see the rest of the room laughing, before Sara also hugs Feli.

"I think you got the right girl, buddy." She says and Feli smiles.

“Later honey, it's not even nine.” I say pointing at the clock on the wall. 

“But I wanna goooo.” she says and I smile. 

I work as a doctor for the FC Bayern women's team and although its Saturday the club decided to do a “Bring-your-family-to-work-day.” 

And what can I say, I think there is no bigger fan of the team than my sweet almost five year old daughter. 

“I know love, how about you eat your breakfast and let mommy drink her coffee and then we can go.” I say and she nods, getting up from my foot. 

My ex boyfriend soon broke up with me after I told him that I was pregnant but it is his loose, he choose not to be part of our live and my I have a good job so I can take care of Anna myself. 

Of curse I often need to travel with the team but then Anna stays with my parents or my brother and his wife. 

“Can I wear my jersey?” she asks as we finish breakfast and I put our dishes in the sink. 

“Sure, wanna go grab it?” 

“Yess.” 

For Christmas I got her the mini version of the jersey of her all time favorite player, Laura Benkarth. 

“I’m ready!” Anna announces as she comes back with the jersey in her hands, I help her putt it on and she patiently for me to put on my shoes. 

We drive to the campus and as we get out of the car, Anna grabs my hand. 

“Are you excited?” I ask and she nods. 

On our way to my office we walk past some stuff members with there familys and some players. 

Some of them know that I have a daughter but most don't. 

“So this is where I work.” I say as I unlock the door and let Anna in before me, she looks around before walking over to the big window, it has a wonderful view over one of the training pitches. 

“Do you see them train?” she asks, completely focused on the view. 

“Sometimes yes.” I say and lean against the doorframe. I hear someone walking  past me but don't bother to turn around. 

“She’s cute.” I hear someone whispering and jump a little when I feel them resting there hand on my shoulder. 

“Jesus are you trying to give me a heart attack?” I whisper yell turning around. 

But when I see the big smile on her face, I can't stay mad at her. 

“Sorry.” 

My heart jumps at the sight of her. 

Laura Benkarth. 

One of our best goal keepers. 

And my girlfriend. 

I meet her here during work and got a long really well, after her injury we spend a lot of time together.  

About four months ago, she came into my office when I was just about to leave, completely nervous and asked me to go out with her. It was honestly really cute. 

We went out on three dates before she finally had the courage to kiss me and after four more she asked me to be her girlfriend. 

And honestly I’m completely in love with her. 

“Its okay.” I say and she gives me a big smile, but I can see her eyes flickering to Anna who's still standing at the window. 

Our relationship is already something serious but I was kind of scared to introduce her to Anna because she's my baby girl and I want to protect her at all costs. 

Besides the fact that the last person that asked me on a date quickly ghosted me after I told them that I have a kid. 

“Baby?” I call out and even though she knows that I meant Anna, Laura also looks at me. 

“I want to introduce you to someone.” I say and she walks towards me, her eyes glued to Laura. 

I pick her up and she wraps one arm around my head. 

“Do you know who this is?” I softly ask and Anna nods. 

“Laura Benkarth.” she whispers. 

“You can call me Laura.” my girlfriend says and I see the sparkle in Annas eyes, excited to meet her. 

“I’m Anna.” she answers and holds out her hand, letting Laura shake it. 

“Very cool name, you know my middle name is also Anna.” Laura admits and I already know that this was enough to make Anna also fall in love with her. 

“Really that's so cool.” Anna says. 

“You know what?” she adds, and Laura shakes her head. 

“We got the same shirt.” Anna explains and points at Laura and I only then realize that she's wearing her black jersey. 

“Wait....we got the same one?” Laura asks and I let Anna down so she can turn around and show Laura the name on her jersey. 

“Yes, because you are my favorite player in the whoooole world.” Anna informs her and I notice Lauras cheeks getting red, cute actually. 

“Thank you.” she says, smiling at Anna. 

“Laura?” I hear someone call her from down the hall. 

“Coming.” she shouts back. 

“Sorry I need to go.” Laura says to us and Anna nods. 

“See you.” she says, waving at Laura. 

“See you later.” Laura answers, she gives me a smile while walking past me. 

I step back to let her outside, but grab her hand before she can go. 

“Do you wanna come over for dinner tonight?” I ask. 

Her eyes are filled with so much love that I almost get weak knees just by looking at her. 

“I would love to.” 

“Around six?” 

She nods and I let go of her hand, so she can go. 

Anna watches me work through some medical forms and I explain to her what I do all day, before we go and explore the campus a little bit. 

I show her my favorite places and we say hi to some of the players. 

Around 2pm we go home, I let her watch some Tv and she takes a nap while I write some mails. 

“What are you making?” Anna asks, she's sitting at the small table in the kitchen while I start making dinner. 

“Pasta.” I say and she smiles. 

Exactly a minute before six, I hear the doorbell rings. 

“Hey.” Laura says as she comes upstairs. 

She wearing black jeans, a white shirt and a denim jacket. 

“Hi.” I answer and she looks behind me, checking if Anna is near before kissing my cheek. 

“These are for you.” she says, handing me a bouquet of flowers.  

“Thank you.” I watch her, taking of her shoes before following me into the kitchen. 

“Look who's here.” I say and Anna looks up, a big smile forming on her face as she notices the person in the doorway. 

“Laura.” she cheers and gets up, running towards her and hugging her leg. 

“Hey, their little lady.” Laura says, she leans down so she's at the same hight as Anna. 

“Hey, big lady.” Anna answers, making Laura laugh. 

“Did you have a good day at the campus?” Laura asks, I watch them from the kitchen counter. The way she acts with my daughter, lets my heart melt. 

“Yes, momma showed me everything.” Anna says enthusiastic and makes a gesture with her hand. 

“Can you two may move to the table while you tell her about everything.” I ask and use the same enthusiastic tone like Anna before. 

Anna does what I said, but Laura looks at me. 

“Can I help you with anything?” she asks but I just shake my head and she sits down too. 

I fill our plates, before brining them over. 

During the whole dinner, Laura is extremely sweet with Anna. 

Around eight I take Anna to bad, even though its already past her bedtime. 

“Momma?” Anna asks as I tuck her in. 

“Yes, love?” 

“Can Laura come over more often?” 

“I can ask her if you want.” I say and smile. 

“I really like her and she makes you happy.” Anna explains before closing her eyes. 

I wait a couple of minutes before walking out, quietly closing the door behind me. 

Laura is still sitting at the table and when I come in she looks up. 

“I’m supposed to ask, if you want to come over more often.” I say and she laughs. 

“Are you asking that for you or for her?”

“Both.” 

Laura gets up and walks towards me. 

“I would love to come over more often, I really like it here.” she explains and gives me a smile. 

“But you know that this means, that this..us, is getting more serious.” I say and she nods. 

“Don't get me wrong, I really like you but Anna is my life and her father already left before she was born and I just want to protect her from that heartbreak of losing someone she likes and-” 

“Hey.” Laura says, stopping me from rambling and places her hands on my shoulders. 

“I knew the day, that I asked you out, that Anna will always come first for you and that's okay because she is your daughter. And I would be a complete dick if I asked you to choose between her and me.” she says and I’m glad that she understands the way I feel about my daughter. 

“Yeah I would never choose, but I want both of you, because I love you both.” I admit and only then realize what I just said. 

“I love you too.” Laura answers ans wraps her arms around me, pulling me closer. 

I warp my arms around her shoulders and press my face into her neck, inhaling her smell. 

The feeling of her arms around me, my body against hers, makes me feel incredibly safe. 

I pull a little bit back, making eye contact with her. 

“Do you wanna watch a movie or something.” I ask and she nods. 

We go into the living room and sit down at the couch, I rest my head on her shoulder I while she chooses a movie. 

By the end of the movie I’m almost asleep, still laying in her arms. 

“You should sleep.” Laura whispers and tries to get up, but I grab her hand. 

“Can you stay, please.” 

She nods and together we get up and into my room, I give her one of my shirts and a pair of shorts to sleep. 

When she comes back from the bathroom, she lays down next to me and I cuddle into her. 

“Thank you for introducing me to Anna today.” she says and I look up. 

“Technically I did nothing.” I say and laugh. “Before we got closer, I only knew who you were and that you’re one of the grates goalkeepers the world had ever seen. And then you just came by, smiled and we’re your charming and kind self and I loved you within a second. And I think exactly that happened today with Anna.” 

I See Laura getting red, the smile on her face growing wider and Jesus I love it when I have this effect on her. 

“I kind of have this feeling that we are already becoming a family.” she admits and I nod. 

They force me to wear both of it but when we’re finished with opening gifts I’m not the only one with a Christmas sweater. 

After that, most people start to leave and I get up too. 

“Hey, Feli can you bring me my jacket too?” Pia calls out as I realize Feli is following me into the back room where everyone left there stuff. 

“Sure.” she says and gives me a smile while walking past me. 

“I like your sweater.” Feli says as she grabs her jacket and I laugh. 

“Thanks.” I answer, stepping closer and waiting next to her as she searches for Pia’s jacket, clearly struggling to find it. 

“But I’m sure that I’m never gonna stand underneath a mistletoe so..” I trail off, her smile grows a little bit bigger as she looks up. 

“I wouldn't be so sure about that.” She says, I follow her look and see there's a mistletoe hanging above us. 

Like in some cheesy Christmas movie. 

“Who did this?” I ask and smile. 

“I’m pretty sure some of them.” she says, nodding towards the door to the other room. 

“Why would they do this?” 

“Because then I would finally have an excuse to kiss you.” Feli whispers, stepping closer. 

She takes my hand in hers and as she realizes that I’m not pulling back or trying to stop her, she knows, without me saying it, that she has my full consent. 

Her eyes flicker to my lips but within seconds they're back at my eyes as we both lean in. 

I close my eyes, and then finally, after what feels like hours, I feel her lips touching mine. 

Slowly, gentle and a little bit shy, she kisses me. 

I’m not sure how to describe what it feels like to kiss her, but its defiantly the best feeling in the world. 

It's like the silence around us explodes and a world of colors appears before my closed eyes. 

Like nothing else matters right now. 

Like we’re the only two people left on earth in this moment. 

Like every thought in my brain is cut out and replaced with her. 

With the feelings of her lips on mine. 

When we pull apart, gasping for air, I try to tell you what I feel right now, how I feel about her, my brain fails to string any words together, so I just lean my forehead against hers. 

Our hands are still clasped together, and honestly I don't want to let go of her. 

“Felicitas.” I say, because my brain is still not working, but also because I like the way her name sounds. 

I wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her back, hoping that my kiss will tell her what I’m feeling. Because I’m not able to find the right words to say it. 

Her hand finds my cheek and as she softly rubs her thumb over my cheek bone I feel my knees getting weak. 

I never knew that my body would react that way to a kiss. 

“I’m....you’re....just wow.” Feli says as we brake apart, clearly not being able to form a normal sentence too. 

“Yeah.” I answer and she nods, knowing what I mean. 

“I have no idea what to say.” 

“What about, Y/N I’m completely and hopelessly in love with you since I meet you two years ago for the first time.” My first instinct is to take a step back, as I hear Pia’s voice, but Feli quickly wraps an arm around me like she wants to protect me from everything that could possible happen. 

Pia, Pauli, Jo and Merle are leaning in the door, each of them with a big smile on their face. 

And I’m pretty sure that one of them, put the mistletoe here. 

“You guys were this.” Feli says, like she exactly knows what I was thinking. 

“Yes, because I’m tired of hearing you talking every day about how much you’re in love with Y7N.” Pia says and adds a “Sorry buddy.”

“Yeah and I hate it when you get completely lost every time you notice Feli watching you when we have goalkeeper training.” Merle says. And yeah maybe she's right with the fact that my brain gets completely empty every time I see her watching us train. 

“Could you go away, so I can ask her to go out with me, without everyone listing, please?” Feli begs and somehow they go and leave us alone. 

“Y/N, would you-” 

“Yes.” I cut her off, a big smile on my face. 

“You don't even know what I was going to ask.” she laughs and I feel my cheeks getting red. 

“What were you going to ask?” 

“Date...I mean do you want to go on a date...with me.” she says, it’s really cute to see her so nervous. 

“I would love to.” 

The smile on her face gets bigger, I lover her smile. 

“We should go, before they come back and annoy us even more.” she suggests and I nod. 

“Hey, Feli.” I say as she's about to turn around. 

“Yes?” 

“You know, we’re still standing underneath a mistletoe.” 

She understands what I want and puts her hand in my neck, pulling me closer. 

We kiss again, but this time, there are more feelings involved. Her hand in my neck, pulling me against her, the feeling of her soft lips against mine. 

I know that I never want to stop kissing her, never ever in my life.

“Do you want a ride home?” she asks, as we brake apart, but only a couple of inches. 

“Yes.” 

We put on our coats and she gives me a smile, 

As we walk out of the room, our last four remaining team mates stand there, looking at us expectantly. 

“You guy are waiting for something?” Feli asks, having her usual coolness again. 

“Did you ask her?” Pia answers. 

“About her plans for Christmas? No not yet.” Feli answers, even though she knows what Pia meant. 

“Anyway, I’m going home, you wanna come too?” she adds. 

Pia nods and we go outside, towards the parking loot. 

The others following us, Merle pulls me aside. 

“Do you may wanna tell me anything?” 

“She asked me to go on a date with her.” I say. 

“What did you answer?”

“Yes, obviously.” 

Merle throws her fist in the air and I roll my eyes, but smile. I like that she's so happy for me. 

“Jo had the idea with the mistletoe.” Merle explains as were almost at the parking lot. 

“Yeah, we thought about something like that.” 

“Good luck on your date, tell me if you need anything.” Merle says as we stop at her car, she gives me a hug and I thank her. 

In the one year of playing together in Wolfsburg and two years in the National team, she became one of my best friends. And she is or was one of the only people who knew about my crush on Feli. 

Since Pia and Feli live together, they also drove her together. 

Pia gets into the backseat while I sit next to Feli in the passenger seat. 

As they drop my off at my apartment, Feli gets out of the car too and brings me to the door. 

“Good night, Y/N.” she says, softly grabbing my hand. 

“Good night, Felicitas.” I say and notice her smiling because normally no one uses her full name. 

She leans forward and kisses my cheek, and as she gives me one last smile and turns away to walk back to her car, I feel like I’m going to faint. 

Yes we’re not a couple. 

And we didn't talk about what we feel for each other. 

We didn't even had our first date yet. 

But I feel like....no actually I know that this is the beginning of something great. 

Something wonderful, magical. 

This is the beginning of us. 

The beginning of Y/N and Feli.