“Then let's start then.” our trainer Tommy says and I feel like I just woke up as I get up from my place in the looker room.Â
Even during the time he explained what we will do in todays session, I almost feel asleep.Â
I follow Feli outside and we start doing our warm ups.
Normally I am one of the last ones to get off the field but this time I cant wait until the session is over and I can go.Â
Usually we have about 60 to 90 minutes of training, depending on the weather and if we have games the day after or before, but after 40 minutes it starts raining so Tommy stops the training after about 55 minutes.Â
Everyone tries to get inside as quick as possible but I sit down at the floor and take a few deep breaths.Â
“Hey, Y/N are you okay?” I hear someone saying and Merle comes up behind me, handing me her water bottle.Â
“Yeah I am just tired.” I say and take a sip before giving it back, Merle offers me a hand and helps me to get up.Â
“Did I hurt you with that last action?” she asks and I shake my head, we where doing a little game during the last minutes and Merle accidentally tackled me down while trying to get the ball.Â
“No, I am okay really.” I say and we enter the locker room, I take a shower and almost fall asleep again while standing underneath the hot stream.Â
Everyone was dirty form the training in the rain and looks a little bit tired but I am probably the badest looking person right now. Â
It takes me what feels like eternity, to put on my cloths and I barley cant keep my eyes open.Â
At the exit I walk into Merle, she smiles at me, before looking outside where it's still raining.Â
“Can I give you a ride?” she asks, knowing that I normally ride my bike here.Â
“Uh sure.” I answer and we run over to her car.Â
It’s not a long drive, but the sound of the rain against the windshield and the soft shaking of the car, makes me fall asleep even I try to fight against it.Â
“Y/N?” I feel someone softly shaking my arm and slowly open my eyes, I am still in the passengers seat but the rain stoped and we are standing outside my apartment building.Â
“Sorry, I...” I sit up and grab my bag from my feet but Merle holds me back.Â
“Hey, you know that I know you sine we startet playing in the U-17 together, and lately you are not at your usual best, you look tired like you haven't slept in a week.” she says, giving me a worried look.Â
“Seriously, I know you're not, what is up with you?”Â
I look down before taking a deep breath.Â
“You know my sister?” I ask and she nods.Â
“She lives with you, to support you with your baby, right?”Â
Five months ago, I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl, Sophia. Her father was never really in the picture and my sister moved in with me so that I wouldn't have to give-up  my career.Â
“Yeah but she moved back to Chicago where she works a couple of weeks ago, I have someone to watch over her and when I we have games my mom come here but...” I stop because I don't want to say anything bad about the person I love the most.Â
“the nights are hard, she normally needs to be feed two to three times and then she needs at least half an hour to fall back asleep and I think she really misses her aunt.”Â
Merle grabs my hand and smiles at me.Â
“I think I have an idea, how about I come by in like an hour, make you two some dinner, you can take a relaxing bath and then I stay the night to help you.”Â
“You...no you need to sleep-”Â
“Y/N, I wouldn't have offered it if I didn't want to do it.”Â
I know that there is no point in discussing with her, Merle is a really strong minded person and won't give up so easily.Â
“Okay.” I say and grab my back.Â
“See ya.” I say goodbye as I get out of the car.Â
I have to nannys wich take turns to watch over Sophia during the day and sometimes for the evenings. Sometimes I feel really bad about it that I leave my baby alone this much but I’m not ready to retire yet.Â
I cuddle a little bit with my daughter and fall asleep for a couple of minutes before I clean the living room a little bit up.Â
“Welcome back.” I say as Merle comes back, a bag with stuff in her hand.Â
“Good evening to you too.” she answers laughing, following me inside.Â
She notices Sophia laying on her favorite blanked on the floor next to the couch, a stuffed dolphin in her hand.Â
Like almost everyone Merle met my little girl many times, she was actually the first one to visit me after I gave birth.Â
“Hey there, how are you sweetie?” she talks to Sophia sitting down next to her.Â
“Can I?” she asks, reaching her hands out to Sophia, wanting my permission to pick her up.Â
“Of curse.” I say and she takes her in her arms, smiling down at her.Â
I feel my heart beating a little bit faster and I don't know if it's because of Sophia or Merle or both of them together.Â
“So little one are you more a spaghetti and meatballs girl or a spaghetti bolognese girl?” she asks before looking up at me.Â
“Definitiv a spaghetti bolognese girl.” I answer and Merle laughs, she grabs her bag with one hand and walks into the kitchen.Â
“Can I help you with anything?”Â
“You can take this beautiful girl from me because I eat her up, she's just so cute and maybe set up the table, I’ll do the rest.” Merle demands and I nod, taking Sophia from her.Â
I set the table and then just watch Merle cooking, getting lost in my thoughts.Â
The way she cooks is the same way she plays soccer.Â
I cant help but stare at her hands, watching them cutting onions and stir in the pot with the sauce.Â
These hands are thousands maybe millions of dollars worth.Â
And then I realize how lucky I am,Â
One of the best goalkeepers in the world, is standing in my kitchen.Â
Sometimes I have these moments where I realize that I am surrounded by stars, that my friends are famous.Â
Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't say that no one knows me but I am defiantly not as known as they are.Â
My mom is German and my Dad Norwegian, I grew up in Oslo and also play for the Norwegian National Team and many people in my home country know us.Â
I look down at Sophia who is still laying in my arms, looking at Merle completely stunned.Â
And I really understand her, Merle is so extremely beautiful and she just has this vibe that you have to love her.
“I think dinner is ready.” Merle says and looks over to us.Â
She fills our plates and brings them over while I sit down, with holding almost asleep Sophia in my left arm.Â
“You now I think you are really strong for being a professional soccer player and raising a child at the same time.” she says as I take the first bite of the food.
“Wow, this is so good.” she laughs and I think I just feel a little in love with this pasta.Â
“And thanks but I didn't really have a choice, don't get me wrong I love my little girl to pieces but I was definitely not ready to give up my career.” I explain and Merle nods.Â
We eat our dinner and after that Merle practically forces me to go and take a relaxing bath while she takes care of Sophia.Â
“You know that you just could tell me that I smell.” I joke, making Merle roll her eyes.Â
“Believe me you smell wonderful.” she says pushing me towards the bathroom.Â
To be honest it is really great not to have to worry about doing the dishes after dinner or that I have to put Sophia to bed.Â
After the bath I get dressed in some shorts and one of my VFL shirts and when I Â exit the bathroom, the living room and kitchen is empty and I see a small light coming from my bedroom.Â
I walk over and see Sophia laying in her bed that is next to mine and also open to this side so I have easy access to her during the night and she doesn't feel like being speratet from me.Â
Sophia is laying on her side, holding onto the collar of Merles shirt with her tiny hands. While Merle is fast asleep next to her, wearing the same shirt that I have, she must have got changed while I was laying in the bathtub.Â
I grab a blanket from my dresser and softy place it over her, she looks so peaceful while sleeping.Â
As quiet as possible I lay down next to her and pull another blanked over myself before turning of the lights.Â
Sunlight is falling over us as I wake up again, I must have turned around in my sleep and I a arm over me, only then I realize that there is a body behind me, really really close to mine.Â
I smile against the wall and feel Merle pulling me closer, her warm breath hits my neck and I think I feel safer than I ever did before.Â
As I wake up again, she is gone but as I turn around I see her standing next to the bed, Sophia in her arms as she is feeding her with a bottle.Â
“Look who is awake.” Merle says and I smile at them.Â
“I didn’t even hear her crying.” I sit up and undo my hair tie, letting them fall over my shoulders,Â
“Oh she wasn't, she slept through the night and when I woke up earlier she was just a little whine so I got up and made her a bottle.”Â
“I cant believe it.” I say and look at my daughter.Â
“Last night you woke me up four times and now you just learned to sleep the whole night.” I add and Merle laughs.Â
“Maybe she was relaxed because she felt that you are.”Â
I node and get up, kissing Sophia on the cheek and I almost kiss Merle too but I can hold my self back.Â
We have breakfast together and spend the morning together before Merle has to leave because of goalie training.Â
After this night, it becomes a habit that she comes over almost every day. Sometimes she even stays for the night, sleeping with my in my bed, but since Sophia started sleeping through the nights I am also more awake during the day.Â
Often we end up cuddled together in the morning and I feel myself falling over her more every day.Â
I mean I already had a small crush on her but now I really know that it is more than that.Â
She makes me feel safe and her arms feel like home to me.Â
We always were roommates for our away games but since she's staying at my apartment more often it kind of feels different.Â
Even there we wake up close together and I don't know if I am imagining it but I feel like there is sometimes this tension between us, like when we are sitting close together on our beds, or when we are doing weight lifting together.Â
But I am not sure if it is really there.Â
And I don't want to talk about it with her because I don't want to loose her, it would break my heart and probably Sophias too.Â
I love the way she acts with my daughter, she is just so kind hearted and a real angel.Â
Oh fuck i am so damn in love with her....