You were the only reason I had to go on, you were my dream, all the things I never knew
(Cross posted on AO3 and Wattpad (ik ik))
โwhat the fuck Jake?โ Devon canโt help but let out loudly. Forgive him, heโs slightly pissed.
โI know, Pam and Larry said no.โ Jake says looking apologetic over the video call
Frustrated, Devon reponds: โI'm cooking for you! Would a text or heads up have killed you?โ
โShit. Heโs pissed.โ Jake Wheeler can see it in how tight his eyes are and how the phone seems to be slightly shaking meaning Devonโs hands are trembling badly.
โI know, I just got distracted and-โ
โNo, itโs happened every other weekend for SIX fucking months Jacobโฆthatโs 12 weeks. 12 dates. 12 opportunities for us to be together that youโve ditched.โ
โWait no it canโt be 12โฆโ the curly haired boy trails off.
โI canโt, I have so much homework.โ
โYou canโt come, I donโt know what weโd even do.โ
โThis weekend is no good babe.โ
โYou couldnโt even give an excuse for the last one, Jake!โ It cannot be said that Devon Evans doesnโt have the patience of a saint but fuck even he can snap.
Is something wrong with him? He thinks as he looks at his boyfriend fumble for an excuse.
Does Jake not love him anymore?
Is Devon not worth fighting for?
Devon has been through a lot but one thing his mama taught him is never beg for love or to be in spaces youโre clearly not wanted.
He loves Jake but fuck heโs so tired of feeling unwanted.
โโฆDev?โ Jake calls out, he doesnโt know how to explain that he doesnโt feel good enough for him. That his life is crazy and he cancels or doesnโt show up because itโs better if Devon is as far away from Jake as possible.
He seesโฆsomething flicker through his boyfriendโs face before itโs back into a neutral expression.
Heโs doing this for himself even though it hurts like a fucking cunt.
โYou will not or cannot make time for us, you donโt communicate, you barely answer texts and calls so itโs clear where this is headedโฆโ he starts
โNo. No. No. for the love of EVERYTHING, Devon, please donโt.โ Jake internally begs, he feels his throat start to tighten up.
โItโs best if we end this relationship. We canโt find time for one another and itโs hurting me Jake. You donโt love me anymore, fine. But donโt string me along like a fucking idiot. My heart canโt take that.โ Devon carefully says, making sure to keep his voice steady but he canโt stop the tears welling up in his eyes.
โDev -Dev please no. I can do better. I love you so much please donโt fucking do this-โ his begging is cut off.
โIโm done Jake. Weโre done. For good this time,โ and the screen goes black.
Leaving both teens staring at reflections of themselves with tears streaming down their faces and their hearts heavy.
โI love you more than i ever thought possible.โ Jake whispers, and starts to frantically look at Uber prices from Salem to Hackensack
Devon starts turning off the stove and packing away ingredients he pulled out of the kitchen cabinets and fridge.
โI love you but I have to love me moreโฆโ the black boy says to himself.
maybe if he says it enough times heโll even start to believe it.
