#destroyyourart

           For this project, the artist is present, I had quite some difficulty in deciding what to do for my performative piece. My ideas ran wild, yet my ideas seemed either too cliché or too big for me to tackle in the time I was allotted. In the end, I decided to beat the shit out of one of my art pieces.

           Ironically enough, this project came while Metro had put a call out for pieces to be submitted to the Emmanuel Gallery called Metro Now. Thinking it would be a great idea to submit my piece from my prior 3D class, I decided to submit my ‘a-bit- smaller than life size’ cardboard mermaid piece that I had poured my heart and soul and at times a bit of blood into the show. Thinking that my piece could get in, I dragged my piece all the way from my house, having to borrow my mom’s big car to get this piece back to Metro, and then walking it over to the gallery for possible submission. I had also submitted one of my little cups from a ceramic class I was taking and cared little for. Funny enough, my cup was accepted into the show, but my over-the-top huge cardboard piece was denied. Receiving that email, I was pissed and devasted, only since I would have to ask my mom- again – for her SUV to haul this piece back home where it would yet again collect dog fur and dust.

           After a few days of keeping my piece in the kiln room of the ceramics classroom, I had initially decided to just leave my cardboard mermaid somewhere in downtown for at least some people to see my work. This fell through eventually due to time and me not having a car to lug it around town. Thankfully, this project came around just in time, and with that and my sanity basically gone, I had decided to destroy my cardboard mermaid.

           I feel that as an artist, sometimes we must destroy our art in order to ‘wash away’ or ‘let go’ of the past and its connections. I felt that stepping on and ripping apart this mermaid piece would finally rid me of the anxiety and worries I had over keeping it. I had already taken photos of it for my portfolio and no one wanted to buy or take my piece. So, it came down to either bringing it back home (where my mom would again complain about how it takes up too much space in the hallway) or destroying it completely. I had realized that my piece had done its job and that it was time to let it go. My piece served its purpose, and even though I would have loved to have kept it around, destroying the cardboard mermaid (in a way) relinquished me. Every stomp casted onto my piece was a step closer to myself finally ripping away from my treasured piece. It was bittersweet destroying a piece that I had spent hours upon hours working on, but I believe that for me to grow not only as an artist, but to grow as a human, I sometimes must destroy the things that I cherish and realize that nothing really does last forever.