#destroyer asks

34.) Do you feel forced to take care of Whumpee?

“Implying?” Paris raises an eyebrow. “Would hardly call any of that taking care of him. I mean, yeah. I feel some obligation to give him what he wants.”

He wishes Delta would let him do more for him. It comes off a bit too self aggrandizing, so he doesn’t voice that part aloud.

“Do you think that’s wrong?” He challenges instead. “That I owe him less?”

37.) What would you do if Whumpee was recaptured?

He’s perched on Jay’s couch. At current, he is pale, still literally sick with worry. The question would disturb him more if it wasn’t already running through his head. He’s thought about it every single day since their departure. The answer doesn’t come any easier.

“I guess I would continue to be useless, like I’m doing right now.”

answering for crash out era 

7.) Are you a sadist?

“Sure,” he says, exasperated. He reconsiders: “No. I’m really, really not. Sadism implies you enjoy it, right? I don’t think I enjoy anything. I can’t even describe the feeling that comes over me, really. It sure as fuck is not pleasure. Even calling it satisfaction seems like a stretch.”

He grimaces a little. He’s gotten so familiar with the feeling of bones breaking beneath his hands.

“Sometimes it feels like relief.”

12.) Are you lonely?

“…Not how I used to be.”

He’s blushing.

48.) What made you want to hurt [Whumpee] so much?

“Don’t fucking ask me dumb shit. It’s ‘cause I’m a bad person. Like, what the fuck else do you want me to say?“

66.) Would you recapture [Whumpee] if you could?

“No. Fuck no.” He doesn’t even hesitate. “I can’t do it again. It’s obvious, right? I couldn’t take it. And Delta doesn’t deserve that.”

His eyes get a little bit vacant when he says Delta’s name.

hm. Asking Constantine because I hate him even though he dies like, immediately

He fixes you with a very tired expression.

“He only ever does what he’s told,” he settles on.

There’s a very slight flicker of amusement across his face. Some private joke. Like he’s won something.

i had some ideas but this ask has led me to develop them more. i know for sure he had a pretty rigid and traditional childhood but it was a structure he did well under and he had a kind of inherited grace that let him adapt to that kind of environment. i also foresee a lot of death early on in his life. i think his mother also died when he was young, possibly even during childbirth, so his upbringing was also quite masculine. there was not a lot of nurturing, but he was not outright abused the way paris was (because he never did anything to “provoke” it.) i think it was a pretty quiet time, probably post-civil was and right after whatever resistance existed at the time was so thoroughly beaten and humiliated that imperial power projected impossibly strong.

delta reminds him of himself a little bit.