#deserviiing

// amerika  -- young the giant

I hope you’re doing well. I write this on my deathbed, because the priest said it would be good to get rid of some things that have been bearing over me for a while. Now, son, I want you to know I never meant you any harm, by doing this.

I put the check in Abby’s purse, son. I didn’t think she was the one for you. I know you must be angry with me. I’m ashamed of what I’ve done, because after you left her, you became a completely different man. You were still my son, but rougher around the edges. Like you didn’t have anything to care for, anymore. Like you didn’t have anything to live for. You were so bitter, so angry at the world. I’m so sorry, son. I never meant for it to change you like this. I didn’t even think it would.

I understand what I did was wrong. I understand what I did may have permanently messed up any other chance with her. I only ever wanted you to be happy, and I didn’t see that you already were... And I am so sorry.

I hope you can forgive me in time. I wish I could tell you this face to face. I wish you were home. I wish I had grandbabies to hold. I’m sorry, Marcus.

Please forgive me.

And know and I will always love you. And whoever you choose next, if you ever do, you tell them that your pops already approves of them because they make you happy.

Until next time,

       YOU’VE NEVER LIKED YOURSELF VERY MUCH. whether it’s a remnant of the emotional wounds your mother inflicted or simply hard wired into who you are, self-loathing is practically second nature to you. but her...watching your older self work is like witnessing a DREAM COME TRUE. she’s everything you hope you can grow up to be, and though watching her doesn’t guarantee you anything about your future, it does give you hope. and HOPE is a very powerful thing.

       ❝ what you did for that grounder...nyko ? it was really brave. i don’t know if i could go back into a place like that, a place that HURT ME so much. ❞

Send me a ღ and I’ll fill this out about a ship

Who’s the first to wake up in the morning: MAAAARRRRCUUUUSSSSSSS

Who’s the one to make breakfast: tbh abby probably

Who’s the one to serve the other breakfast in bed: marcus B) gotta treat his queen <3

Who would suggest a quickie in the morning before work: ........abby. marcus has a routine that he doesn’t like messing with. but he will if she suggests a quickie ;)

Who suggests they both ditch work to lay around all day: honestly? come s3, marcus.

Who chooses the movies: they switch off every night.

Who initiates kissing during the movie, thus distracting the other from the movie all together: marcus. have you seen abby’s jaw????

Who orders lunch: marcus n_n

Who steals food from the other’s plate without asking: ABBY. if it were anyone else he’d slap their hand. but she’s abby so he tolerates it xD

Who curls up next to the other and falls asleep due to a full tummy: abBY

Who distracts the other from trying to work at home: abby. always abby

Who asks to go get ice cream like a five year old: fuckin marcus dude

Who takes pictures of their partner eating ice cream: marcus. still. 

Who makes a sexual joke about the dripping ice cream on their partner’s face: probably abby and then marcus gets really flustered

Who cooks dinner: i feel like they’d switch off

Who cleans up the kitchen afterwards: marcus, usually c:

Who stays up until 2 reading: STILL. FUCKING. MARCUS. but then sometimes abby, too.

Who stares at their partner while their sleeping: marcus. god he loves watching abby sleep.

Who kisses their partner while they sleep: marcus <3