#des302

For this final blog post I have been recommended to try a different reflective toolkit and have decided to use The four F’s of active reviewing. This late stage the semester is incredibly full on with lots of work and assignments happening concurrently, but hopefully this new model can aid me in making sense of the events and progress I’ve made in the past couple weeks.

Facts

This past couple weeks I began 3D modelling on Blender and completed my initial 3D model, I then became unhappy with the visual fidelity of that model. I reached this stage around halfway through Week 9. So I then changed my 3D model to a smaller scale. I completed this a couple of days before the due date for the poster hand in, I really disliked the final model though so I pulled an all nighter to completely change the model and I ended up very happy with my final creation. I also created a website to accompany my 3D model. It was unexpected that I changed my idea twice from my initial idea, but this has been a recurring theme throughout this year. It was definitely a memorable and stressful experience, but it made a valuable impact on my project. 3D modelling is also something I haven't done before. So doing that was a new challenge.

Fig 1. Three stages of my 3D model.

Note: Three images showcasing the original plan for the scale of my first model, my first attempt at a smaller model, and then my final model, pre fixing the normals and artefacting.

Feelings

Obviously I was stressed when I recognised that I wanted to change my model and idea again. But I also felt incredibly in control of the situation and my own model. Having that ability to chop and change when and where I want is incredibly relieving. After I knew I was changing my model I had to lock in and work incredibly hard and getting that all done for the poster hand in was a really relieving, fulfilling feeling. Knowing the work I have to do now for the rest of the semester is stressful but I think that the work I did this past couple weeks has been the most critical work I’ve done for this semester so far.

Findings

I think the central reason that I always want to change my idea is because of a failure in the early stages of the design process. I have discussed this in my report but essentially to ideating broadly enough and long enough meant that I moved forward through my chosen design process without actually settling on an idea that I was super comfortable with. So changing my idea is an almost inevitable outcome of that, so I am happy that I did it. Although it has been incredibly difficult, if I hadn’t done it I would’ve been betraying myself and damaging myself with an idea I was not confident in or happy with. So therefore not regrets from my decision making in these past few weeks, but instead, a lot of regrets from a lot earlier on in the semester. 

Future

For this reflection entry I have decided to try an alternate reflective model. I have chosen the Gibbs’ Reflective Cycle. This entry will cover the last couple weeks as I didn’t make an entry the week prior. The last couple weeks have been interesting and transformative for my capstone, in ways both positive and negative.

Description 

In the past week I have pivoted my idea from being football to a more historical, broader idea. I have been able to attend class a lot more thanks to doing slightly better with my anxiety, so talking to Xin helped me to contextualise my project and explore an idea that might not only be better suited to the stream, but to my own designerly strengths. I had made a lot of progress with my previous idea, so altering it at this half-way stage is dangerous, but I think that a lot of my work so far is transferable, My new idea is still in its early stages, but will use design to allow Aucklanders to imagine the future of their green spaces amidst climate change and its impact on the CBD. 

Figure 1. Miro Board Weeks 4 to 6

Note: Relevant sections of my Miro board to this reflection.

Feelings

Obviously making this decision invites a lot more stress. I was behind with my previous idea so changing again ostensibly makes it seem like it’ll be even more difficult. But I feel more confident after making the decision to change, with an idea I’m more inspired by. I think the work will become easier and the ideas will flow more naturally. I was unsure for a while as well whether to change, but I then decided to take a while to think about it, sleep on it, et cetera. This helped me make sure I was making the right decision, and it is a choice I feel confident about now looking back. 

Evaluation

I think what went well is definitely my discussion with Xin. For a variety of reasons I had missed a lot of class, most notably my previous presentation because of my anxiety. But having a proper chat with Xin made me feel a lot more confident having that support, particularly as I felt not so great after missing another presentation from this year. The not so great is still my general progress, it is still not good enough and I haven’t really addressed what I set out to change in my previous long form reflection. There is still a lot of room to improve and alter my process.

Analysis

I think things have gone well in regards to the idea for many of the reasons I have already mentioned. I used all of the support and resources available to me in the course that I hadn’t been using before. Making use of this support has allowed me to better visualise my project and the direction I want to take it. What hasn’t gone well is the aforementioned progress, and I think that is because I didn’t follow my own last step of my previous reflection. I didn’t carry out my action plan well enough. In the end, I don’t think it is the end of the world. I know the way my mind works. I know I give in to procrastination and delay too much, and that that is an aspect of my personality/mental health I should maybe get checked. However, I also know that I am a high achiever and more often than not create outcomes in both design and wider academic work that I am really pleased with. But I want that to be consistent and not just be the product of a last minute dash at the finish line. 

I decided to read through Understanding and Overcoming Procrastination which provided some valuable insight into procrastinatory thinking, something I have somehow never looked into despite being a habitual procrastinator for most of my academic life. It talks about how procrastination is often rooted in anxiety, it provides an inbuilt excuse for people who partake in it. Whether or not I fully believe this I am unsure, there are of course a myriad of complex mental health reasons one could lack the focus to work for a lengthy period of time. But it is still valuable to think about this aspect of my personality. There were also methods to dealing with procrastination that were of some substance. The article discussed time management techniques, and how some can actually increase stress. I always try to do the same sort of time management that often fails. The article also discusses creating productive motivation, motivation that will inspire me personally, not necessarily the typical reasons like grades and the like. 

Conclusion

I’ve learnt that I need to be confident in my decisions, and that they will usually bring about positive changes for my project. I’ve also learnt that my weaknesses shouldn't be completely debilitating failures and that there are methods and techniques to find success and have a positive experience with my project in spite of them. This is made evident by my brief investigation into Understanding and Overcoming Procrastination and the strategies that it proposed. 

Action plan

I think next time I would’ve started working with these resources far earlier, had a longer committed period to ideation and exploring concepts outside of my ideas in order to pick up more information that could inspire. I am going to work on overcoming procrastination methods, making more customised to-do lists. Luckily I have the mid-semester break coming up to plan and action these ideas. 

References:

So start of Week 4, reflecting on Week 3. It was a more productive week than the previous two but one still marred by indecision and inactivity. I am developing an idea I am increasingly fond of but lack the time to create it because I take too long on the assignments. The assignments then require a lot of progress to be made in the project to achieve well. So I feel stuck in a loop of not making any real tangible advancements.

Alongside a lot of extra-curricular work and business it has resulted in another stressful, and progression wise, uneventful week.

And just like that we are in Week 3 of Capstone! The first couple of weeks of semester have been slightly stop-start, marred by a frustratingly persistent illness and my absence from the entirety of Week 1. As a result of this, much of my work so far has simply been catching up on what I missed and focusing on recovering and resting so I’m at my best for the coming weeks. Luckily, a lot of the work so far has been refreshing myself on my Design Research Proposal, looking upon it in a new light and hoping to find new angles to explore my intended area of research. This is a requirement both for me and the course directives. In order to reflect on my progress and learning thus far I have decided to employ the reflective model of What? So what? Now what? 

What? 

A lot of the context of the semester so far has been mentioned in my little introductory section. I was absent, then sick, and the whole time trying to catch-up on what I had missed. Having caught up midway through Week 2 I found myself in a position I so often find myself in, stuck. Not necessarily for lack of inspiration but in the clichéd sense that often the hardest thing is to get started, or rather to know where to start. As a designer I know that I often have slow starts to projects and wanted that to change for this semester. So I set about laying out my Miro in a fashion best prepared for successful and efficient work. As someone who procrastinates a lot, having a strong structure around me is definitely necessary for a successful semester. Getting to grips with my design process, the Resilio Design Process, and laying it out as a timeline on my Miro definitely helped in getting started with the Initiate phase and beginning the real meaty section of my project. 

So what?

It was undeniably a difficult couple weeks. As a naturally anxious and easily stressed person getting back in a University mindset of deadlines and work is something I find particularly demanding. This stress was only amplified by the aforementioned illness and my return from a month long holiday. But I think I’ve navigated it relatively well. I think this provides valuable learning for me, not only showing I can navigate adversity but also how I can manage it. If I keep to a maintained schedule, deadines, and a clear structure then my inherent anxiety will have less of an impact and my stress levels will be minimised. I believe that keeping to my structure and timeline for the remainder of the semester will be key for not only the optimal outcome of my work but also my attitude. 

Now what?

Even though last week was our final blog post week I feel I should post a final post anyways. Going into my final week I am feeling ready to work hard to get my final steps achieved. I am feeling on track but still overwhelmed with the amount I have to do. I am happy with how I have gone in this assignment, and I think picking an assignment topic that I am very passionate about helped me to get through this assignment.

I am happy to be writing this final blog posts as I have found these blog posts more helpful than I expected. I found it was great at the end of each week to sit back at think about all I had achieved. They have been great for reflecting and sometimes venting on time when I was overwhelmed or stressed. I can’t believe I have finally made it to the end. So close!!!

This week had to be my least productive week as I caught a cold. If being stressed wasn’t enough, I couldn’t do anything because I was bedridden from a fever. I did attempt to do things here and there, such as playing around with the Miroboard (shown in Fig 1). 

Fig 1. Miroboard reaarangement

Once I recovered, I could come to the design space and catch up with my peers. I was overwhelmed as it seemed that due dates kept changing, so my plan kept on changing (shown in Fig 2), which is good in the sense I have time but also the fact that I have coming out from a cold and I am struggling to process everything going on with my circumstance and design.

Fig 2. My planner

I know this is my least productive week, but it had me reflect on my current circumstance and try to keep my composure, hence this saying:

“Kotahi karihi nana ko te wao tapu nui a Tane. The creation of the forests of Tane comes from one kernel [Starting small leads to growth] (Elder, 2020).”

Reference

My focus was to get input from the stream leader regarding my approach to my design, especially the prototype, considering the time limit and capacity within the next couple of weeks. I previously wanted to show a mock performance. Still, knowing the ethics regarding bringing performers and the structure of the redesign showcase, my options were highly limiting, even with negotiations with teaching staff. Hence, my approach would be to create two prototypes:

“Lead up to the performative art and telanoa.” This phase is demonstrated as a low-fidelity prototype, rough advertisement, or hand-drawn poster.

“After performative art and telanoa resources and take away.” This phase is demonstrated as a high-fidelity design, a functional website using Wix (shown in fig 1).

Fig 1. plans for DES301 and DES302

These are possible and something that I can execute. However, the discussion with my store leader left me in a doubtful spot (potentially returning to the Te Rapunga phase); my doubt came from her unsure of my current approach and vision. The question in our discussion was whether I was no longer doing performative art. This had me contemplating to the point where I questioned changing my whole project, which is challenging at this stage. Nonetheless, I am demotivated and hopeless.

I found a saying that might put back that spark I have lost:

“E tu te huru ma, haramai e noho. Etu te huru pango, hanatu e haere. Let the white hair remain here, let the black hair get up and go [We must follow our dreams] (Elder, 2020).”

Reference

Project Status

My project is now in its second week of prototyping. I have received feedback from our project partner, Diversity Works NZ, as well as from my stream leader and peers that have helped me think deeper about my topic. Some to take note of are:

The idea of creating a movement outside of and against a system that eventually affects the original system

My initial idea was to design a video game convention that would encourage large video game companies (AAA companies ie. Ubisoft, EA, Nintendo) to recognize and hire more queer talents to increase the overall diversity and inclusivity within the video game industry. There is a sizable queer population within the video game industry, however most exist in the indie games sector (aka; independent creators or small to medium-sized companies), and my main objective was to bridge the gap between indie and AAA companies in order to create a more accessible pathway for queer talents to enter large video game companies.

However, because there’s already a large population of queer game developers, designers, artists, voice actors, etc. within the indie gaming industry, why should they have to abandon a community that has been crafted to let them thrive, to move into a larger company that shut them out in the first place? I found this an interesting take, and reminded me of a quote from the first Diversity Works NZ presentation from this semester, which is “From fitting people to the workplace to designing workplaces that fit people”.

This made me consider whether I should focus on the larger video game industry, or on the indie game industry. As I am focusing on New Zealand’s video game industry, narrowing my focus down to its indie gaming industry seems more restricting. However, I also believe that it can lead to shedding light onto subtopics that haven’t been discussed before, ie. New Zealand indigeneity in relation to queer livelihood. This is something I will take some more time to ponder as I work throughout the week.

Diversity, Inclusivity, but where is the Equitability?

Another significant piece of feedback I received was the lack of evidence for an equitable design. I have been focusing too much on the Diversity and Inclusion aspects of the project, that I haven’t thought much about the logistics of the design. How much does it cost? How will people get to the venue? Is it accessible for those with physical or mental disabilities? Who are you partnering with? I have been thinking too much about how this design will affect wider society instead of the smaller group of people who will be attending it, thus I will start thinking about these questions to ensure that I am capturing every aspect of a DEI design.

Digestibility

While not an actual piece of feedback I received, I realized that not everyone will be well-versed in the video game industry. While I am creating an event for mainly young queer video game developers, artists, gamers etc., it could still attract anyone who could be interested in learning more about it. Thus, I will have to ensure the event isn’t exclusionary towards newcomers, and that information is easily digestible and accessible.

Tools

I haven’t used any significant tools at the moment, however I am aiming to begin sketching some ideas, such as a logo, website sketches and wireframing, a poster, etc. I will be using paper and pens for basic sketching, however for more detailed or complex ideas, I will be using the drawing software Procreate, as it is a powerful tool used for illustration and ideation. A downside of this app is that it works with pixels and not vectors, unlike Adobe Illustrator, which can become a problem if I get sizes wrong and have to resize.

Challenges

My current challenges for this project and my proposed solutions for them are as follows:

Sketching some ideas

Ensuring that I use the right sizing to avoid pixelation

Thinking more about how to make my design more equitable

Concluding Thoughts

A positive I am very appreciative of is the feedback I received from our leaders and peers this week. I think that it offered necessary and helpful advice which will in turn help me create a more in-depth design. A negative I have come across with this project this week is the newfound question of how to make my design more equitable. However, this can be mitigated by brainstorming more ideas and asking for more feedback.

Next Steps

Initial prototypal sketches

Thinking more about equitability in the workplace

References