#derkle

1. First impression: why does everyone think she’s so smart


2. Truth is: you’re probably the most trustworthy person ever and you give amazing advice 


3. How old do you look: like 10 tbh but jokes on me ur like 19


4. Have you ever made me laugh: all the time honestly 


5. Have you ever made me mad: BALI :(((


6. Best feature: I wanna say humour but we’re hella lame


7. Have I ever had a crush on you: I’ve had a crush on ur brain multiple times cause I’m just like wow that’s so beautiful 


8. You’re my: #alphabitch


9. Name in my phone: maderkle shafquat


10. Should you post this too? yaas

The other day at Derkle, we ended class with a small discussion in English about a serious issue in Senegal. They chose to talk about whether men and women could be friends with each other, which was interesting in the context of a religious and fairly traditional nation like Senegal. It was especially interesting because what I noticed more than the differences, were the similarities.

Yes, here, marriage is much more prevalent and is almost socially obligatory. That being said, young people are still young people and they have girlfriends and boyfriends and go out at night. 

In general, the conversation was dominated by the men, partially because they happen to be slightly older and better at English and also because they tend to be more assertive. I tried to make sure the women who wanted to speak had a chance and since I ended up as the de facto moderator I had some sort of power to tell people to wait their turn and listen. They kept asking me what I thought, but I let them talk for quite a while before answering them. 

The general consensus seemed to be that it was pretty hard for men and women to be friends because one of them will fall in love and that's bad. The potential for a sexual relationship seemed to ruin all possibility for friendship. Men and women have very rigid roles here and the idea of friendship between them still seems new. Homosexuality is an enormous faux pas here (check out my upcoming journal post "Gay in Senegal"), so friendships between men and men or women and women have no pressure, theoretically.

The men seemed to think that it was often the women (though they kept saying girls, whether intentionally or because of the language barrier) who would flirt with the men. The women seemed to think it was always the men. To be honest, I was amazed at how often "sex" seemed to be constantly part of the thought process, just like in America, when in general it's supposed to be mildly forbidden here. 

For the most part, from the men's point of view, they felt that if they had women friends they needed to define a firm limit with their actions, by not texting them late at night, going to restaurants with them, or inviting them over to their house. It didn't really seem to matter to them if the woman was interested in being more than friends or not because they still represented a "temptation." The women were a little less firm in their feelings and seemed to think that a friendship could survive the unreciprocated exclamation of love. (Bear in mind that these are obviously generalizations. There were a few guys who were confident in their female friendships and a few woman who swore off friendships with men.)

Before I was asked again to share my thoughts, the conversation briefly turned to what I'm inferring was a fairly recent rape case in Senegal. The conversation reflected the patriarchy and a lot of the same notions that women fight in America. It seems "the girls" went to a hotel to meet some guys late at night and they were wearing "sexy clothes" so it couldn't have been rape. They also made some comments about how in America you'll get arrested for just swearing at a girl. The women didn't seem to agree entirely but had trouble articulating their point in English.

They then asked me what I thought, which was either good or poor timing since we landed on such a serious subject. I commented lightly and simply, because I wanted to tread lightly and because I was speaking English to a group of English students. I tried to explain that we have similar problems in the United States but that we often succeed at having friends of the opposite sex by communicating. You can verbally set limits to a relationship, not just with actions. Furthermore, I think it was important to recognize that a majority of the conversation had been about the man's relationship with a woman and about what he thought and wanted and assumed, but never about the woman's wants, thoughts, or feelings. She can wear a short skirt, come to your house for dinner, and text you whenever she wants, but it doesn't necessarily mean she wants to love you, physically or emotionally. Unless she says she wants to, you assume she doesn't, no matter how short a skirt she's wearing or what time of night. If you're friends with someone, it means you're equals on some level and their perspective counts just as much as yours. 

They seemed to get what I was saying with consent and rape, but weren't so convinced on the possibility of a safe friendship between men and women with a verbal limit only. That may very well be the case here. 

After the class, I spoke to my friend Ali who speaks nearly perfect English, wants to attend an American university, and is a devout Muslim. He seemed adamant about men and women not being able to be friends very easily, without love interfering. I asked him if this means we couldn't be friends, even if I told him right now that I didn't love him and wouldn't because I was leaving in 2 months. He laughed and said of course not, we could be friends, he would like that. We made plans to go over the process for applying to American schools. 

Assane, the man in charge of the Derkle center’s English classes, is very interesting. His English is pretty good, but he could use some practice too! He’s very dedicated to what he does and has been very appreciative of my time and excited to have me at the center. He’s clearly very proud of his work and is interested in teaching theory, improving the program, and learning new things — as evidenced by him handing me the reigns the first day. We’re becoming fast friends.

I’ve now taught three informally organized English classes at “Le Centre Sociale Derkle,” a community center about a half hour walk from my house and CIEE. Gamo, the CIEE “outreach” coordinator, helped connect me with them and so far it’s been great!

This past Saturday, I went from 15h00 to 19h00, teaching both a children’s class and an adult one. We had met briefly with Assane, the man in charge, the day before and learned a bit about the center and what they did, but I wasn’t prepared to be thrust into an actual teaching role! I thought I would be watching for a few weeks or helping out in some way, but they’re very short staffed and run just on volunteers. Since I was the resident expert on English, I had to teach.

At first I was like, “What? I’ve never taught English. I don’t know what they know or want or usually do… Why am I holding this chalk?” But after a few seconds of shock, my workshop-leader-swim-instructor-math-tutor skills clicked on and I got going.

Today was even better. I went over after class and split a cab with two other volunteer students (who didn’t go on Saturday) because I couldn’t quite remember the route for CIEE. We got there too early because I forgot that the kids session, from 15h00 to 17h00 is only on Wednesdays an Saturdays. The other two got another tour but then had to leave for something else before we could do anything. I stayed, and had come prepared with ideas, makeshift lesson plans, and games. It was just adults, or rather advanced students, today and we practiced pronunciation and weather words and then played a simplified Taboo game to practice speaking. It went really well and no one wanted to leave. One little girl even gave me a Canada pencil as a “thank you teacher” gift. It’s only been two days! But young and old alike seemed to think I was funny and my animated impressions of temperatures and exaggerated facial expressions to match some difficult pronunciations put everyone more at ease. It’s hard to speak a language you’re learning if you’re worried or tense! If your teacher makes herself look like an idiot over-pronouncing the differences between “th-ree, tr-ee, and fr-ee” then maybe you won’t be so worried about looking like an idiot too.

It’s also great practice for my French and Wolof since I need to speak a mixture of both to teach. The students already know a decent base of English, so sometimes it’s me asking them how to say something in French. I’m excited for Wednesday and the game I have planned for the kid’s class on “playing verbs.”