#derazzed

which one of them fuckening kills rthe other: its a race but kristoph gets there first 

which one of them talks too much on webcam and which one is awkwardly quiet: phoenix talks as loudly and obnoxiously as possible until kristoph just puts him on mute and nods when he thinks it’s appropriate 

which one of them puts cereal in the bowl first and which one puts milk in the bowl first: they both do bc theyre both... awful 

who drinks diet soda and who tells them that diet soda isn’t that much better than regular soda: kristoph drinks diet soda... phoenix reads him the labels... kristoph makes some snarky comment... its all disgusting 

who wears contacts and who is so disgusted by the idea of contacts that they won’t even look at the other when they put their contacts in: kristoph probly wore contacts at one point and then he decided he looks more Sophisticated and Frightening w/ glasses 

who goes to whose house first when they meet for the first time long distance: kristoph goes first but phoenix is waiting for him like Welcome to my fuck house 

who fucknig dies first: phoenix bc kristoph kills him :0

which one needs to get their bangs out of their fucking eyes: doesnt kristoph have like a sprite where he sweeps his bangs to one side. ew

who reuses plastic spoons by rewashing them even though they’re like a dollar for a pack of them: phoenix rewashes the plastic spoons by LICKING THEM just to watch kristoph’s expression of mild disgust

who has an excess amount of jewelry they dontt wear and keep losing and which one finds all of the jewelry under the others bed: kristoph...... but he never finds them again bc phoenix steals them n sells them n he’s like “phoenix where is my 28 karat gold engraved ring” and phoenix is like “gee i dont know kristoph”. 

which one drinks black coffee and which one isnt going to hell: kristoph drinks the souls of his victims and black coffee

who plays console and who plays pc: they play call of duty together 

who has an embarrassing picture of the other at the christmas party: phoenix tries to take as many pictures as possible but the evidence ALWAYS DISAPPEARS!!! 

which one still has a flip phone: phoenix i just answered this w wrightworth its the sMAE THING 

which one ships kawoshin and who insists that it’s strictly platonic: in this case phoenix would be the lover of kawoshin bc kristoph has no emotions  

who still sleeps with a stuffed animal and is completely unashamed: phoenix AGAIN 

which one thinks they’re going to survive in a zombie apocalypse and which one actually does: kristoph believes he would but he is wrong bc he’s weak 

which one of them fuckening kills rthe other: kristoph is the devil

which one of them talks too much on webcam and which one is awkwardly quiet: phoneix until kristoph just goes OFF sometimes

which one of them puts cereal in the bowl first and which one puts milk in the bowl first: hy am i doing this? anyway phoenix puts the milk in first honestly. kristoph is still the devil tho.

who drinks diet soda and who tells them that diet soda isn’t that much better than regular soda: theyre both drinkin diet but still kristoph is an asshole

who wears contacts and who is so disgusted by the idea of contacts that they won’t even look at the other when they put their contacts in: phoenix doesnt wanna see that but Kristoph is The Devil

who goes to whose house first when they meet for the first time long distance: (kristoph) hello phoenix welcome to my abode >:) (phoenix) why is everything on fire

who fucknig dies first: theyre both dead

which one needs to get their bangs out of their fucking eyes: phoenix has no bangs but kristoph just seems like the incorrect answer

who reuses plastic spoons by rewashing them even though they’re like a dollar for a pack of them: please just buy some  silverware

who has an excess amount of jewelry they dontt wear and keep losing and which one finds all of the jewelry under the others bed: phoenix. 

which one drinks black coffee and which one isnt going to hell: kristoph is already there and yea

who plays console and who plays pc: kristoph is the pc gamer, phoenix doesnt even care but kristoph will fight.

who has an embarrassing picture of the other at the christmas party: kristoph is the devil. this isnt really an answer just a statement.

which one still has a flip phone: phoenix wright

which one ships kawoshin and who insists that it’s strictly platonic: kristoph

who still sleeps with a stuffed animal and is completely unashamed: phoneix

which one thinks they’re going to survive in a zombie apocalypse and which one actually does: kristoph, neither. bye bye.