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Anyone else with depression feel a sick sense of accomplishment when you get a new high score on the depression pop quiz at the doctorās office? Like, itās twisted that I feel accomplished when I score high enough the nurses all look at me like Iām about to shatter in front of them and they treat me with kid gloves. āFuck you, depression!ā I scream in my head. I am so fucked up they all think Iām going to die right now but here I am, still alive. I win.
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You ever try and reconcile who you are, who you were, and who you wanna be and it just doesn't line up? Yeah, that's how my day is going.
GutmĆ¼tigkeit und uneigennĆ¼tzig bringt mich momentan sehr an meine Grenzen.
Wie will ich gut sein, wenn Leute das nur gut finden, weil es IHNEN hilft.
ScheiĆegal wie es mir geht.
Verachtung steigt.
autism thoughts
thinking about how when you care about someone itās easier to have them leave me then for me to leave them. like to be abandoned. maybe thatās just the deadbeat haitian father in me but another aspect is that people (neurotypical and otherwise) wonāt tell you when they donāt want to be your friend anymore. theyāll just fade in and out of your life hazily and youāll wonder if they even like talking to you or if this is just a point in your friendship where you guys arenāt as close.
