#depressedish

I just need get off my chest / un-panic at the moment. One of my best friends just got into a car accident (drunk driver), but thankfully she's ok. I should have been studying this weekend and its all my fault but im really hating myself at the moment. I thought the test was going to be easy-ish but it turned out to be really hard. I have so many tests this week including a c++ test w/ a program due (and im a bad programmer so its really hard for me, especially being a transfer student being thrown into a level 2 class with a code i don't even know); and i feel like I'm gonna do bad in my classes, and its my own fault and i hate myself for it; and I feel like i'm not gonna accomplish what I love doing because of these courses &/or take another year to get my degree & be more in debt and i'm feeling really, really, down (like I was tearing up in class b/c I was thing about this, almost giving myself a panic attack), and contemplating my life worth /choices. I've been listening to RiseAgainst: The Black Market (album) and it is helping...music is a great thing to have. Staying away at college is new & hard, and I know this is something I need to get used to / buckle down and do; But i really scared myself with that depression trip...