#depplovers

Being such a huge fan gave me a safe space when I was going through dark times. As I grew up, I lessened my daily obsession but always supported his work. From when I started following him he was with Vanessa. When they separated and he started with Amber I was not thrilled. He was playing into the typical older male celebrity with hot young girl. However I got it and eventually got on board.

When the allegations came out, I didn’t want to believe them. He never seemed like a violent person. It didn’t quite make sense but the pictures and evidence seemed convincing enough. Women are often not believed especially women involved with major male celebrities or figures. I decided to believe her. I didn’t lambast Johnny or burn all my treasures, but I quietly stepped back from my fandom.

Listening to that audio demonstrating so clearly that Amber was the abuser in the relationship devastated me. I had chosen to believe her and stepped away from the one constant that kept me afloat in some dark times. It took one clip to disbelieve her & decide to support Johnny wholeheartedly again.

Coming back into the fold, I truly feel a sense of loss for missing out on years of supporting Johnny, his movies and music. I won’t make that mistake again. I am all in and will continue to do my small part in supporting him. I refuse to let one of my heroes out of my heart again.