#dense reader headcannons

Honestly? Alcina doesn't really mind how oblivious you are.

It's cute, and very charming. She'll comment about how good of a couple you two would be, and you'll beam at her, obviously flattered, and say that you appreciate her friendship just as much!

...Not exactly what she was aiming for, but she'll take it💕

Alcina's the only person in your life vying for your attention (she'll make sure of that), so it's not like there's any pressure for her to get you to understand her feelings right away. There's no deadline to your relationship--she has all the time in the world to get you on the same page.

Lady Dimitrescu is more than happy to play the long game to get you to feel more comfortable about being in a relationship together.

She'll take you on long walks, host private dinners, gift you thoughtful presents.... Basically Alcina tries to get you to actively go on dates with her. At the same time, she's asking you about your thoughts and feelings on romance.

Alcina's trying to get a bigger picture of why you're so oblivious to people making passes at you. Are you insecure? Do you not believe you're attractive enough for someone to love you? Can you even recognize feelings of love?

If you're so dense that she can say "I love you", and you think it's a platonic emotion? Yeah, Alcina has her work cut out for her.

Her long term goal becomes easing you into a relationship.

She drowns you in affection until you get used to it, easing you into thinking that her kisses are normal for your relationship.

Frankly, it's adorable watching your eyebrows furrow as you try to puzzle out the reason that Alcina presses kisses up your neck and to the corner of your lips. You get increasingly flustered the closer she get to her prize, and you might even let out a nervous laugh or comment on how friendly she's being.

"Yes," Alcina croons, mouthing the words so close you can feel her lips brush against yours, "friendly."

You start sweating

She's long stopped being subtle with you, and starts explicitly stating that her intentions are romantic.

Honestly she starts to come on so strong at this point that if you're not picking up her hints, you probably are never going to.

One day, if you're not careful, you're going to wake up with a ring on your finger after a "platonic" wedding, and Alcina laying beside you, wearing nothing but the world's smuggest smile.

...I hate to say it, but this is a disaster combo, for sure.

Here's the thing about Salvatore Moreau : for as much as he tries to hide it, if you know him well enough it's pretty easy to tell when he has feelings for someone.

He has a couple of surefire tells that let you know he has feelings for you.

Mainly: Moreau does have a speech impediment, and when he gets too flustered, overwhelmed or angry, it will get worse. I only say this because he is a messsss around you. Stuttering, drawing out vowels, you name it. When he has a crush on you all of his verbal tics come out full force if he doesn't have a minute to compose himself.

He also stares. A lot. You'll be talking about something as simple as what you two might want for dinner, and Salvatore is staring at you with blatant heart eyes.

Unfortunately for everyone involved, you seem physically incapable of picking up on social cues.

You're confused and a little sad if he starts to trip up when he speaks. Did you say something wrong? Is Salvatore in pain? Upset? You don't want him to be sad!

...You decide to hold his hand!!! Hopefully it will offer him some comfort. ☺️

Slipping your hand into his causes Salvatore to go completely quiet. He doesn't...look??? Upset???? He might be staring at you a lot, but the two of you are friends, so that's normal! You decide that this is the best way to handle the situation. Quiet is good, right?

Honestly, you're just happy your bestest friend Salvatore is comfortable enough to even hold your hand! 💛💛💛

Meanwhile, Moreau is dead silent in a desperate attempt to prevent himself from blurting out the fact that he would beg on his hands and knees for the simple pleasure of giving the tips of your fingers a gentle kiss.

You laugh and smile and drag him further into relationship purgatory. He doesn't know what to do.

Moreau goes into full research node. He watches romantic movies, reads adventurous novels about love, and does his level best to figure out a way for you to understand how much he loves you.

Meanwhile, all his insecurities are telling him it's pointless to even try. He's a monster, in action and in appearance. Why would someone as wonderful as you love him?

He wants to know what you think of him, but he's terrified of the answer. The fact that you can't tell how serious he is when he yells you he loves you is nerve-wracking, but also comforting in a weird way. At least you're not rejecting him... right?

Moreau won't ever give up on trying to tell you how he feels, but it is going to take a while.

The catalyst for him to really put aside all of his worries is if you mention that you are unlovable. If you ever tell him that you will never be in a healthy or happy relationship because something about you is broken? Salvatore gets so angry he starts confessing to you until you get it.

If he tells you "I love you" and you respond "You're my best friend too", he will not stop until you understand his emotions are romantic.

He isn't ashamed of his own feelings anymore--Moreau can't let you believe that you are anything less than perfect. If he has to confess to get you to understand, so be it. Even if you don't choose him, so be it.