#denpowerweek

“And at this moment, I think I finally know what I was made for?” He smiles at me, and he suddenly feels like the sun. The heat is starting to cover my entire body. I’ve known this boy for most of my life. He was my light, my love, my Denji. And I wouldn’t have him any other way. And here he was sitting next to me on the bed.

“Oh and what’s that?” I replied.

“To love you like no other.” My heart begins to melt after that. He closes his eyes and leans closer to me. I was taken aback. It’s not like I forgot what we were here to do or anything. I just didn’t expect it to happen so quickly! But nevertheless it was my duty and my honor. So I closed my eyes too. I can’t see him now, so I just let my instincts carry me. That’s what I always do. People say I’m feral, I say I’m one of the few honest people left. His breath tickles my lips and I swear I can feel something go down my spine. I’ve never been more ready in my life. But then he stops. I can feel it. I opened my eyes just to confirm and there he was frozen.

“I, I can’t do it.” He gets up and turns away from me, dropping that dumb script from his hands. I love him so much. More than the blood in my veins. But like most humans, he was ever so dumb.

“Damn it, Denji, this is like our fifth take, come on!” I point out. We had both joined the theater class as a way to get an easy A. We thought we could hide in the shadows where the back seats bathed in and let each other’s tongues distract us from our lessons. It didn’t go as well as we had hoped. How were we supposed to know that at the end, we had to perform an actual play?! It was utterly ridiculous! Luckily, the teacher never liked our acting enough to give us big roles. We were practicing for the one scene we had. It was an intro scene between two teenagers who would become the parents to… I don’t actually remember her name. It wasn’t important, we didn’t get any lines about her. It’s a waste of precious memories. The point is, the scene ended with Denji kissing me.

This is where it all went wrong. Oh, I was the most excited I had ever been about anything ever since I confessed to Denji that I loved him, and he said he felt the same way. But then I turned and saw a panic in Denji’s eyes. It was a truly pathetic sight.

“I just can’t do it.” He turns and yells at me.

“You keep saying that, but you won’t actually tell me what that means?!” Denji was never a coward. I first met him when I was being attacked by a bully who had kidnapped my cat Meowy, and he came in to defend me. He got his ass kicked, but I didn't care. I was still amazed. No one had ever done anything that selfless before. And yet here he is, being selfish. He has to kiss me, it’s in the script. Why won’t he just do it?! This all came like a rush to my mind. And he had to. The teacher would absolutely fail us if we didn’t. I swear, he frustrates me to no end. And he still hadn’t said anything. He’s just looked at the floor.

“Are you just gonna sit there? C’mon, answer me! What does it mean?!” I asked again with my arms crossed.

“It means I can’t fake it!” I looked at him and suddenly my arms felt heavy. I had to let them go.

“What?” I barely said it. He looked at me. There was that same panic in his eyes. No, actually. It was different.

“Oh! No, I don’t mean it like that! It’s just…” He sighs. “I can’t fake loving you. I’m supposed to pretend I’m in love with someone else. And I just worry, if I kiss the girl you’re playing, does that cheapen the next time I kiss the real you?” 

I chuckled. I had to, I had no other choice. I took my seat right next to him again.

“You’re such an idiot, Denji.” I said, speaking the truth.

“Hey, you’re the idiot here!” He tried and failed to exclaim.

“Kissing her is totally different from kissing me. For one, I’m more impressive.” I pointed out, justifiably.

“Yeah, true,” he said.

“I’m cuter.”

“That too.” I hold his head in my hands. I need him to look at me for this part.

“And I love you. She doesn’t. She loves that other guy. This stupid play will never take away what makes loving you and you loving me awesome.” I could see him thinking. He looked so cute with his cheeks squished in my hands. Reminded me of Meowy. He raised his hands to lower mine. I had wondered what he had up his sleeves. And then he kissed me. He had done it so many times. And still, nothing compares to the warmth in my chest when his lips are against mine.

“I could tell, that wasn’t acting,” I told him, trying to hide a smile, but my grin betrayed me.

“It wasn’t. Guess I need more practice." He looked drunk with happiness.

“Yeah, you do.” I was too.

Title is a lyric from "A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More "Touch Me"" by Fall Out Boy