#denim wall

a day at work. a night at wings. great music. great friends. great night. 

time for bed! (its been a rather long week, and one to come as well.)

goodnight my tumblr friends.

it has been a rough couple of days, emotionally. once you move in with another, you see everything about them, the good and the bad, the quirks, the habits, etc. and in doing so, your relationship with that person either gets stronger or weaker. 

for me, it has gotten weaker with one of my roommates. the one i was closest to. the things that didnt really effect me a year ago, now i cant stand. it has gotten SO bad, that to avoid any sort of ridiculous confrontational outburst, ive avoided her almost all together.

last week, we got into another brawl. (they usually happen every 2 months.) and when the two of us fight, we fight dirty. we bring out the worst in each other and use it as ammunition. (this is NOT a healthy method.) the difference this time is that i was at my wits end with fights about meaningless things, and the disrespect it brings (its a REALLY long story which i will not bore you with). for a couple months now ive been thinking that if nothing changes, i dont want the friendship anymore. its not healthy. and its detrimental to my mind (emotional abuse). but i DIDNT plan on telling her that right now. but...i got so pissed when she started bringing others into the fight that i told her i couldnt do it anymore. 

the problem is, i didnt finish that sentence. i dont think it would be healthy to do it anymore if we dont change our behaviors towards each other. thats an important part of the sentence. i do want to be her friend but i just cant do it the same way anymore.

but we havent talked since that night we had the fight (we were civil later that night and had dinner together with the other girls). shes a busy gal and ive been out late at work the last few nights. soon, and i mean soon, we have to get together (and have someone referee) and have a conversation about how we can fix the friendship. 

its embarrassing to me. that two CHRISTIAN gals cant get along together like we should. i mean, i know we are human, but is that really an excuse? i dont think so. relationships are sticky, and sometimes its hard to find a balance. but that doesnt mean we should give up. it doesnt mean we shouldnt try. JESUS never gave up. HE never said 'im sick of being the bigger man (person), i dont want to be the first to say sorry'. he always had kindness, self control, gentleness, and love. ALWAYS.

i need to work on those more. a lot more.

us girls, can be so ridiculous. really.

on a somewhat lighter note, tomorrow at noon is my interview for 'price specialist'. i know of at least 5 others who are also interviewing and im pretty sure i know who will get this job. the good news is that if she does, that means there is still a position open at the store to take. the bad news is ill likely still have those same people to beat out for the job. 

i need more confidence in my life. i was never really raised to have it. and if i ever have kids, ill work on it with them.

im not dead! and i saw no sign on a truck today in the neighborhood. good good.

i got home 3 hours early from work, we were beasts today on the women's denim wall! next week we will do the kids walls and we'll be done!

also, today at work i discovered that a manager position has opened up, the pricing specialist. cha-ching! i talked to the assistant store manager (who thinks a lot like me) and she said she could totally see me taking that position. so i told the store manager that im interested, and we'll talk next time we work together about it. fingers crossed, i really need a full time job! and with this job, i already know the staff, how its done, and i have enough experience to 'qualify'. golly, itd be so nice! 

b30x-

"He sighed deeply and said, 'Why does this generation ask for a miraculous sign? I tell you the truth, no sign will be given to it.' " Mark 8:12

its not about proof, its about faith. how much can you truly love Him if you have proof he's there? instead, search for Him and learn what it means to LOVE unconditionally.

here's what i captured today...

a long day it has been. i worked today (and even though i hate working on sundays, today it was acceptable) because i asked to be scheduled for the overnight shifts. this means that you get to be at old navy WITHOUT any customers asking questions, getting in your way, and messing up any progress made. it also means you can play your own music and goof off (while still working of course) without getting looked down upon. in other words, A PERFECT SHIFT!

our project tonight (and in fact the next 3 overnight shifts) was the denim wall...mens specifically. now let me tell you. its a wholotta work to do ANYTHING with a denim wall, but even more so to redo the whole thing. ON corporate has decided to do just that. so began the long task of removing everything; jeans, shelves, marketing, and plan-a-gram  stickers. actually removing is easy, its putting it all back, correctly, that is long and tedious. luckily, i enjoy doing the mundane! i love seeing progress made. 

really, it is fun. thats why i sign up for it! (but that doesnt mean it doesnt take its toll on your body and mind.)

on the way home, i decided i could really go for the golden arches cone and fries (which normally id never succumb to). sadly, their ice cream machine was down so i only got the fries. bugger. (i did get a size larger for free though!) after leaving the golden arches i continued my journey home and for most of the way i noticed a truck that would change lanes quickly, at the last moment and turn down the same road as me.

now normally i wouldnt be surprised, because i know people who change lanes at last minute to turn in the far lane...i find it quite annoying and ridiculous. BUT this guy turned into my neighborhood. i went past my home and turned around only to find the truck stop on the side of the road, turn out his lights and then as i passed him turn around. i freaked out in my head and just wanted to get inside my house so i parked real quick and went in without looking to see where the truck was.