"Why Winning Is Bad for Democrats by Anonymous Democratic Consultant"
Let’s imagine that Zohran Mamdani does win, with a coalition of multi-class young people, immigrants, unions, renters, faith leaders, and pansexual mustache men. What does that mean for the losers? The investment bankers, the landlords, and the Wall Street guys who ask women on the street if “they’re sisters or something”? Was winning worth their tears?
As someone who won one time, I can tell you winning is often not worth it. You know what happens after you win? Governing. You know how hard that is? Who wants that kind of responsibility? Making people’s lives better by advancing policies? Responsibility is incredibly stressful.
Should Mamdani win and begin to deliver on some of his campaign promises like free buses, city-run grocery stores, or a rent freeze, it will certainly be a slippery slope. Giving Democratic voters what they want is just like the book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. Whenever the mouse gets something, it only wants more and more, until the point where it is well-fed, well-rested, and happy. It’s a primrose path that will ultimately accustom Democratic voters to creature comforts like health care or education. As I’ve always told my clients, instead of giving a mouse a cookie, we should give him the ability to qualify for one chocolate chip, provided he completes a three-year apprenticeship program in an underserved neighborhood, and as long as his income doesn’t exceed $50,000 a year...
...Let’s talk about the kind of candidate Democrats should win with. Mamdani is a telegenic, intelligent guy with real convictions. If he wins, what will that mean for the average, boring Democratic legislators and candidates who pride themselves on receiving all their beliefs from polls and the crypto industry? In a way, Mamdani winning is an ableist erasure of candidates incapable of believing in anything at all. Our big-tent party must make space inside for those who are dead inside.
- Sadly on-point satire by Francesca Fiorentini for The American Prospect.
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