What, in your opinion, is the best name for a demonic hamster?

Ah! My sincerest apologies for the delay—truly, I intended to answer sooner, but I have been swept into the chaos of organizing Rivendell’s Spring Festival. There are banners. There are flower arrangements. There was a horrifying incident involving glitter. We do not speak of the glitter.

Now. To the matter at hand. A question of grave importance. The naming of a demonic hamster.

But tell me first—what kind of demonic are we speaking of? There are layers to these things. Are we referring to a shrieking, red-eyed, escape-artist menace that chews through the bars of its cage and escapes into the pantry at night, only to be found eating a sacred scroll from Númenor? Or are we imagining a tiny, malevolent fuzzball who knows you’re watching and maintains prolonged eye contact while knocking over its water bowl with the same energy as a fallen archangel?

Because if it is the former, I humbly suggest: Skritch. Short, ominous, deeply unsettling when whispered in the dark. If the latter? I am torn between Beelzebub Jr. and Lord Squeaksalot the Terrible.

The duality of dread and dignity.

Alternatively, for a more ancient feel, I recommend:

Morthûrz (Black Fangs, in a dialect I shall not name).

Pip. Because imagine someone discovering the shattered remains of your teacup and whispering, "Pip has returned."

Or simply: Derek. No one ever suspects Derek. And that is how he wins.