#delkios

“Kon?” Jon called as he walked into the barn. “Are you in here?”

“In the hayloft!” Kon called out.

Jon floated up to the hayloft and found Kon and Kara waiting for him. Kon, standing up, looked proud of himself; Kara, sitting on a hay bale, looked resigned. Between them was a whiteboard propped up against another hay bale. Written in messy marker were the words “SO YOU’VE GOT A CRUSH ON A BAT.”

“What is this?” Jon asked.

Kara closed her eyes. “Run, Jon. Save yourself.”

“It’s the Superkid School of Love!” Kon said. “We figured that since we were all here in Smallville for Pa’s birthday, it was the perfect time to talk to you about that thing where you’re madly in love with Robin.”

“You figured,” Kara said.

Jon felt his face go hot. “I…what? I’m not…in love…who’s Robin?”

You could pretty safely skip “Revolution” if you want to - it doesn’t change the general status quo of the Transformers comics. “First Strike,” on the other hand - well, it’s only 1 issue out of 6 in so far, and we won’t know for sure until it’s all over, but it is about Earth finally being inducted into the Council of Worlds, and Cybertron being the victim of an attack by Earth supervillains, so bigger things could result from it. Can’t say as of yet.

Wingman. Definitely the wingman. 

Oh, Lisa’s a possessive person, definitely, and the thought of anyone taking Len’s attention from her is a matter of great suspicion, but I just love reading her as wanting Len to be happy. Sure, she’s going to look on anyone he dates with an eagle eye, but she knows she’s not enough for him and she wants him to have someone because she wants to have her own life, in time. I always see little Lisa as incredibly independent, because Len encourages that, but also that Lisa knows how much Len makes his identity around defending her. And she loves him for that, but she also wants to get him things (people) to make up for it, and she wants him to have someone when she eventually leaves, because she knows she will one day. He loves Central City; she doesn’t. She’s going to go away and he’ll need someone.

Here we go again! Yesterday it was fics with less than 1000 hits and today is.....

The tropiest tropes: Sci-Fi edition!

Who doesn’t love tropes? There are infinite variations of the same prompt because we love it, that’s why. And with a Sci-Fi show, writing Sci-Fi tropes is just the natural thing to do, so here are my favourite tropes, Coldwave style:

I Won’t be Too Young, by ajremix. Summary:  Len gets hit by a de-aging ray. It's less fun than most the crew might think.

De-aging!! My absoulute favourite trope ever, hands down. Is it only de-aging of the body but the mind retains its adult memories? Or is the brain affected too? Is there a cure to return immediately to adulthood, or is it a matter of waiting and it returns to normal in a while? How do the rest of them deal with it? Well, since this one’s by ajremix, it’s perfect, is what it is.

The Habits series, by nirejseki. Summary:  Len wakes up in Mick's body. Also, everyone else is freaking out.

Body swap AU! Also one of my favourites ever. And this one has a really original spin to it like everything by nirejseki, so even better. And the second part provides context, which has me basically face palming at Len and Mick’s brand of idiocy but I love them anyway.

I Wear My Fuck Ups Like a Diamond Ring, by Catchclaw. Summary:  Leonard and Mick catch a sex virus. And then Leonard makes a mistake.

....I mean I couldn’t not rec a sex pollen (virus, whatever) fic in a list of Sci-Fi tropes fics, right? Right? And with no consent issues either because I don’t like those, and with mutual pining because I do love that, and what else can I say? It’s the kind of thing that you know what you expect to read and you still love reading it.

One of my all-time favorite farce gags is when you have a set with a lot of doors and Person A is trying to hide Person B from Person C so puts them in separate rooms but everyone keeps wandering into the wrong place and there’s a lot of increasingly frantic running and door slamming and unconvincing excuses and also everyone is wearing either evening wear or underwear. (Clue does this a little when the cop shows up and they’re trying to figure out a room they can put him in that doesn’t have a dead body in it.) I don’t know if this could be pulled off in comics and I know prose can’t do it, but all I’m saying, why does Wayne Manor have so many rooms and so many beautiful idiots if not for exactly this purpose?

...Oops I started thinking about it and it immediately blossomed in my mind:

Bruce is pulling the “Brucie” act on Vicki Vale so he brings her back to Wayne Manor after one of their interview dates but has to maintain the playboy persona because she already suspects he’s Batman and becomes increasingly suspicious thanks to everything that’s about to happen.

Selina has unexpectedly shown up to get freaky and Bruce has to keep them apart for both love triangle reasons and “Selina is a known felon” reasons.

Jim Gordon is there to talk to Bruce about whatever and Bruce also has to keep him from figuring out Selina is there.

Dick and Babs were hooking up but Bruce and Jim don’t know they’re a thing so they have to get Babs out of the house without any of the adults spotting her.

There was a mob hit on the quiet road leading up to Wayne Manor but the gangsters (who are lovable buffoons working for like Black Mask or someone who did the actual killing) panicked when they saw Jim’s car and decided to hide the body in Wayne Manor.

Jason finds the body and is like “Shit, I’m gonna get blamed for this” so he keeps moving it so that no one will find it.

Tim’s cowl got fucked up somehow in a fight and now he can’t get it off, so he’s wandering the Manor looking for someone who can help, but he can’t let Vicki or Jim see him. Also, he managed to get the rest of his costume off, so it’s just Red Robin cowl + tighty whities and he’s mortified.

Selina, Babs, and Jason are all also in their underwear. (“Jason, why did you find a dead body and immediately take all your clothes off?” “Can we focus on the real problem here?” “Depending on what your answer is, I think that is the real problem here.”) Dick is in a towel.

Damian brought home another pet against explicit orders not to do so and is trying to find a place to hide it.

The pet is either a peacock or a goat that keeps screaming, or a parrot that has learned to say “I’m Batman.” Also, it can open doors.

Duke already thought the house was haunted and now that he keeps hearing but not seeing the pet, he’s sure.

Jason and Tim make him go talk to Jim because he’s actually dressed and Jim’s like “So...how do you like living at Wayne Manor?” and Duke’s like “IT’S DEFINITELY NOT HAUNTED.”

At some point Vicki stumbles across the dead body and Bruce has to Weekend at Bernie’s it even though he has absolutely zero idea how a dead body ended up in his study.

At another point Jim runs into a hastily disguised Selina and Dick and Damian have to convince him she’s their “beloved Aunt Harriet.” (“Dick, why are you in a towel?” “...Pants allergy.”)

The dopey gangsters are still in the house hiding from everyone. They also think the house is haunted.

Damian finds the dead body and is convinced his family is in danger so he gets his sword. (“Why does that small child have a katana?” “We believe in the importance of extracurriculars. Also, it’s a jian.”)

Talia abruptly arrives halfway through, causing further chaos.

Alfred remains completely implacable throughout and saves the day in the last five minutes with a brilliantly complex Jeevesian maneuver and impeccable timing.

Damian gets to keep his pet.

This is the order in which people figure out Damian’s crush on Jon:

Alfred the human

Cass

Titus the dog

Dick

Maya (non-Jon bestie #1)

Goliath the bat dragon

Colin (non-Jon bestie #2)

Steph

Babs

Harley (she’s extremely insightful)

Bruce

Alfred the cat

Duke

Kate

Lois (she already knew about Jon, but she can’t read Damian as well)

Clark (same)

Jason

Talia

Helena

Bat-Cow

Ra’s

Jim Gordon

Renee Montoya

Clayface

Jon

Damian

You know me so well!!!

Clark loves wholesome musicals: Rodgers and Hammerstein, The Music Man, that sort of thing. Anything with big technicolor scenery and songs about how great nature is or how much fun it is to do chores.

Jon also loves them.

Kara likes the slightly spicier type of wholesome musical: Guys and Dolls, Damn Yankees, etc. - stuff with veiled jokes about sex but that’s it.

Kon INSISTS he doesn’t like musicals but definitely knows all of the songs.

Lois tolerates it.

Don’t even try to tell me Bruce doesn’t vibe with Phantom of the Opera. Come on.

Alfred loves operettas.

Dick loves musicals with every fiber of his being, to an indiscriminate degree that’s vaguely annoying. (No, honey, Starlight Express is bad, actually.)

Cass likes anything with a lot of dancing, whether it’s Fred and Ginger or something from the Step Up franchise.

The rest of the Bats are like “Holy shit no.”

It’s not that I think Roy specifically loves musicals, but it’s canon that Ollie is a jazz and big band fan well past the Golden Age, so I think Roy grew up listening to a lot of standards, and there’s a strong overlap there. He hasn’t seen all that many musicals but he knows the words to every song from any musical produced in the 30s, 40s, and 50s.

Dinah likes rock musicals. Like, if there’s a guitar solo at some point, she’s in. (She saw Hadestown six times.)

Ollie and Roy both love Hair.

Guy has a secret love for The Pajama Game, leave him alone.

Barry has identical musical tastes to Clark, and also loves jukebox musicals. Smh, Barry.

None for the other Flashes, thanks.

Diana doesn’t feel strongly about musicals specifically but she loves live theater. Someone once took her to see A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum once, though, and she did not enjoy it at all.

Cassie loves whatever musical is trendiest at any given moment, and I love her for it.

Yes of course Ivy loves Little Shop of Horrors.

Ra’s al Ghul also loves Phantom. He and Bruce trade bootlegs.

Slade cries every time he watches West Side Story, leave him alone too.

Harley also loves every single musical, and the worse it is the more she loves it. (She and Dick went to see the Gotham production of Starlight Express together and yes, she wore a train conductor hat.)

Why?/Where do they go?: “Jon, get in the car.” “Okay.” *twenty minutes later* “Where are we going?”

(Officially they are going to San Francisco because they have to fight Titans-related crime for reasons, and they are taking a vehicle because Damian doesn’t want to be reliant on Jon carrying him around, and they are taking the Redbird because Bruce has the plane and Dick has the chopper and Lian has the Titans jet. But actually it’s because Jon just graduated high school and is going to college in outer space or the future or something and Damian wants to spend time with him before he goes. Damian is unaware of his own reasoning.)

What do they see?: “World’s Biggest Ball of Yarn! Damian, take the exit, we have to go! We have to go!” “You cannot possibly want to see something that stupid.” “I want to see it because it’s stupid!”

(They stop at a lot of roadside attractions, and also anywhere Jon hears a county fair in the distance - which is a lot of places across the middle of the country in summer - and also because they are superheroes on a road trip they end up in at least three towns with a mysterious secret that Don’t Take Kindly To Outsiders. They see prairies and mountains and rivers and the Grand Canyon and Yellowstone Park. They see more stars than a Gothamite could dream of, lying side by side on the hood of the Redbird and staring up at the night sky.

They spend a night in Smallville and Ma and Pa greet Damian like one of the family. He lies awake in a sleeping bag on the floor of Clark’s old bedroom and listens to Jon breathe and thinks about a life very different from the one he has until he can’t bear to think at all.)

Who's in charge of the playlist? “I should get to pick the music. You need to concentrate on driving.” “It’s my car, ergo I get to pick the music. Besides, you have abysmal taste.” “And you have the taste of a guy who says ‘ergo.’ I’m not listening to classical music all the way to California, Damian!”

(As with most things, Damian puts his foot down and Jon does whatever he wants anyway. And actually, the oldies station he picks isn’t too bad, until Jon is singing “If you should ever leave me...well, life would still go on, believe me...the world could show nothing to me...so what good would living do me?” a little flat while the wind blows his hair wild and Damian suddenly shuts off the radio and lies that he’s getting a headache.)

Who regrets this decision most often? “I can’t believe I’m wasting my time staring at an enormous ball of yarn with you.” “Come on, D, you know there’s no one you’d rather stare at an enormous ball of yarn with more.” “I suppose that’s true, in an extremely technical sense.”

(This was a mistake, Damian thinks before they’ve even left Metropolis and a hundred times after, and the sooner it’s over with the better - but once they’ve finished the mission in San Francisco and are heading back east, he finds himself driving slower and slower and stopping more and more. August is almost gone.)

At what point do they realize they're in love? “Hey, look, Metropolis, ten miles! We’ll be home in twenty minutes.”

(Damian pulls the car into the shoulder so suddenly they nearly spin out. “What the hell - ?!” Jon says as Damian turns the engine off. “Damian, what was that? What’s wrong?”

Damian sits and clutches the wheel like he’s still driving, shoulders locked, staring out the windshield. Jon puts a hand on his shoulder. “D, you’re freaking me out. What’s - ”

Damian leans over and kisses him.

It takes them much longer than twenty minutes to get home.)

What other thoughts do you have about it? “Do you want me to stay?” “I can’t ask you to do that.” "Good, because I might not be able to say no.”